Crosses and Rainbows
by Brittanysway
Summary: In a place blessed by God, the rules are simple: 1. Obey youre parents, 2. Obey the church and 3. Obey the Bible. Alexander Lightwood, is about to break these rules. He should have known that the rules are there for protection. Who is going to protect him now? AU R&R Rated to M in the near future due to planting a lemon tree
1. The Peacock

**So this is my first fanfiction. I hope you'll enjoy it just as much as I do :)**

**AND I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING! THE BELOVED CHARACTERS BELONG TO THE AMAZING WRITER: CASSANDRA CLARE! The only thing I own is the plot line**

**1. Peacock**

**I **felt the ruler slap over my fingers, again and again. I closed my eyes tight, and tried to ignore the pain. The pain went straight from my fingers to my brain, telling me it was okay to scream, but I couldn't. I would bite down my bottom lip to hold in the screams and the whimpered sounds. The ruler went up in the air and my eyes would open and see it swaying above.

"_Please,_ dad", I begged and shook my head. "I can't no more. I'm so sorry". I looked up at the man with the ruler. His hands had a strong grip, and his pale blue eyes would look at me, with nothing. His black hair would fall down against his face and his beard was big and thick, and I suddenly remembered how I loved to play with it when I was younger and how I loved the way it would stick against my skin. And now, I barely dared to touch it.

"Alexander", he said and I felt his other hand go under my chin to lift my head up. "You need to look proud". I blinked and regretted it as soon as I felt a tear run down my chin.

"I am proud, father", I said and felt the ruler once more against my fingers. I looked down seeing the skin getting red and one of my knuckles began to bleed.

"So, say you are sorry", he said and took the ruler up in the air again. I nodded and looked up at him. Hating that I looked like him, having the same pale blue eyes and black hair.

"I'm sorry", I said, "I wont… I will never yell at my brother, he didn't deserve it". Father took the ruler down and sighed with a smile on his lips.

"And what do we say, Alexander?" He asked and started to fix my shirt, most to my distaste.

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity", I said and looked up at my father, who I mostly preferred to call Robert. No man like him deserved to be called, a father.

"That's right my son", Robert said and fixed my collar. "Now go down to Sebastian, he is waiting for you, and do you're duty to save those who needs saving". I took my arms down to my side and made my hands into a fist.

"Yes-", I said with hesitant, "-father". I turned around on my heels and walked out the door, closing it slowly, letting it only make a click. Other teenage kids would probably slam it, but in my case I would just get spanked with my fathers famous cane. I sighed as I entered the hallway feeling the cold air against my arms and as I turned around I saw a small shadow leaning up against the wall. He was around 9 years old and wearing big black glasses. He looked up at me with his big brown eyes, matching his hair. And his brown eyes were red with tears. I walked over to him and let myself fall down on his level.

"Max", I said and touched his shoulder lightly. "Why are you crying?" Max sniffed and took a small hand up to his cheek, to remove a tear.

"It's my fault that daddy hurt you", he said and looked down at my red knuckles. "Why didn't you tell him that it was me there was yelling at you?" I smiled and touched his hair.

"It's okay, Max", I said, "You don't deserve something like this…" I looked down at my knuckles, "Max, I need you to promise me something?" Max nodded with a slight of hesitation. "If father ever blames you for anything, no matter what, you blame me…" Max´s eyes grew wide and he was about to say something when I touched his cheek. "I will take the blame, I will take what ever comes to me. I'm you're big brother, and I will protect you, so… promise me!" Max looked down at his anime book and tightened his grip and nodded, "Max, I need you to say it". Max sighed and looked up at me.

"I swear on God, that I will blame you for all of my mistakes", he said and his lips made a small twist. I smiled and got up.

"Now, go", I said and pushed him slightly behind his back, making him stumble forward. He looked over his shoulder and made a small smile at me, and I just nodded.

I need to mention this. My family is very Christian. We do the whole praying before dinner and we have to wear crosses around our necks for protection. Ever since we were born, we have been taught to live by God and do whatever the bible says. We are not allowed to have sex before marriage, though I doubt that Izzy and Jace live up to that. And we shall be kind to everybody we meet on our path, so today I have to go around giving people brochures about the bible and God. I have to save them. I hated to do it, I'm no saint or angel; people can save themselves if they want to, why do a piece of paper have to tell them different?

I met Sebastian outside. He was leaning up against the wall and played with one of the brochures, ripping it apart. He looked up at me and I met his dark and black eyes, it sent shivers down my back. Sebastian had been my friend since kindergarten. We did everything together, but as we grew up we started to grow apart, though we still hang out sometimes. My mom thinks he is a good boy, and she wants Izzy to marry him, even though Izzy keeps telling me that the boy gives her the big amount of PMS's and she just wants to throw a bag of shit in his face. I smiled of the memory and as I approached him, he leaned away and gave me 20 brochures.

"Here, pretty boy", he said and looked up at me with a smirk. "Are you ready to do nothing at all?" I knew what it meant partnering up with Sebastian, it meant doing nothing at all. We would probably find a corner and just stand there, trying to give away these stupid brochures.

**XxXxX**

The air around us smelled like new cut grass and car gas. I looked over at Sebastian, who was standing on the opposite side of the road, talking to 3 girls. They were all laughing and smiling, and one of them touched his shoulder. They were flirting all 4, and Sebastian loved any minute of it. He looked over at me briefly and winked. He then leaned down and whispered something to the girls, and they all walked over to me. I felt my heart pounding and I turned around, trying to pretend I didn't see them.

"Hey pretty boy!" Sebastian yelled and made me turn around. "Look what I got." He had his arms around two of the girls while the third just stood beside her friends with a smile.

"He-hey", I said, "you want a brochure?" I took the brochures towards the girls, and they started to giggle. I always made them giggle, I don't know why. I think it is my way of _not _knowing how to talk to them.

"You were right, Sebastian", one of them said. She had short red hair and her eyes were big and golden, "he's adorable". I blinked and looked at Sebastian who just smiled.

"Oh please", he said and took his arms away from the girls. "He's more than adorable. He is amazing. He is my best friend, and therefore he is sexy, sexy and adorable". I blushed even harder, feeling his fingers touch some of my exposed skin, underneath my shirt. I tried to take my shirt down to cover myself, but Sebastian let his nails squeeze into my skin.

"So girls", Sebastian said, "what do you say? Wonna hook up later today?" The girls looked at each other and nodded.

"If… you take him with you", all three said and pointed at me. Sebastian looked down at me and leaned closer.

"Say yes", he whispered against my ear, "you don't want me to ruin that pretty face of yours, do you?" I squinted my eyes and looked up at him, seeing the fake smile on his lips and the seriousness in his eyes.

"I guess I can come", I said and looked over at the girls and tried to smile. They giggled again and the one with the short red hair leaned in on Sebastian and whispered something in his ear before letting a piece of paper slip into his hand. He kissed her cheek lightly and nodded, before letting her go. They all three walked away giggling like small schoolgirls, while they would occasionally turn around to look at us.

"So…", he said and turned to look at me. "I guess we got rid of 3 of those brochures."

"Seriously, Sebastian", I said and looked up at him, "why cant we go out, without you hooking up with someone." He shrugged and leaned against the wall.

"I can't help it", he said, "I'm stunning." He turned to look at me and smiled. I frowned and tried to give a brochure to an old women, who grabbed one but let it fly out of her hand.

"Stop it pretty boy", Sebastian said behind me, "no one will take one of these stupid brochures."

"At least I try", I said and turned around to look at him, "You don't do anything." Sebastian raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, I just got 3 hot chicks to both of us", he said and let the rest of his brochures slide down his back pocket.

"Like I care", I mumbled, "besides, I don't think you can get any girl."

"You say I can't?" He asked and leaned away form the wall. "Is that a challenge?" He sneaked up behind me and his hands grab my shoulders. I felt his hands tightened and he faced me towards a diner at the other side of the road. It was called "The Peacock", and had a light green color on the walls. There were small tables and chairs outside, and a few people were enjoying their beer or coffee. The door was open and I could almost smell the sweet scent of new baked bread. I licked my bottom lip, wishing I could just go in there and eat everything. There was a young waitress coming outside. Her golden hair was curled and hanged down her shoulders. She had a short black skirt and a white tight t-shirt, with the diners name and she had a peacock feather in her hair. She smiled at her costumers and gave them their order.

"Her", I said and pointed over at the girl. Sebastian followed my finger and I felt him smirk. He clapped my shoulder before going crossing the street.

"Piece of cake", he said and turned around and looked at me, while he licked his lips. I started to run after him as he entered the diner. I was numb by the sweet smell of bread and cakes. I inhaled and as I exhaled I couldn't help but close my eyes. I felt my mouth dripping and I opened my eyes slowly. The diner had a light green color on the walls, while the chairs and tables had a brown color, with a green pillow on each seat. On every table there was a red flower with a peacock feather. I felt like I just walked into a fairytale, it was so beautiful.

There was a bar, with a few costumers drinking beer. The glasses and bottles, was so shiny and the colors was mixed up like a rainbow. I felt my feet almost instantly walk over to the bar. I let my hands land on the smooth surface, and I closed my eyes and I listened to the music. It was a sweet and slow song, and it was so beautiful I almost started to sing.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" A sweet voice said.

"Its…" I said almost like a moan, "so beautiful."

"It sure is", the voice said and I felt it right beside me. I opened my eyes slowly and turned my head, almost touching the persons face. My eyes grew wide and I took a step back. He was tall, taller than me, and that never happens. His hair was spiky, with rainbow glitter. I let my eyes slide down, he had bare legs, and his skin had a caramel color. He had short black shorts and a tight white t-shirt, just like the waitress. I let my eyes slowly land on his eyes, and they looked straight at me. They had a beautiful green and yellow color and they were shaped like a cats. He looked almost not human, he was to perfect.

"I don't think you are allowed at the bar", he finally said and smiled. I blinked and blushed.

"No… erm", I said, "I'm sorry, I was just caught in the moment." He looked down at me and smiled.

"I see", he said and his eyes slowly found mine. "Do you… want anything?" I looked at the bar, only seeing alcohol with names I couldn't even pronounce.

"I don't know what to get?"

"How about…" He said and leaned in on me, "a blowjob?" I blushed even deeper and as I took another step back, I fell down on a bar chair. Did he just ask me if I wanted a blowjob? I almost felt my head explode, no one had ever said something like that to me.

"Don't bother the poor kid", a voice said from behind, "he is just a innocent little choir boy." I turned around and saw the blond waitress, and she smiled at me. She walked pass me and she smelled like vanilla. She stopped by the other waiter and kissed his cheek. They must be a couple. They looked perfect together, all tall and they both had a perfect body. Lean and not to muscular. I gulped and looked down at my hands.

"I'm not a choir boy", I said.

"´scuse me?" The waitress said. I looked up at her and saw that she had leaned forward.

"I said I'm not choir boy."

"Oh", she said and leaned away with a smile. "So you're not innocent either?" I was about to say something when I saw Sebastian walk pass a few people. He stopped next to the waitress.

"I can't find the waitress anywhere", he said and when he saw the look on my face he raised an eyebrow. "Wow, who touched you?" I let my gaze turn to the two waiters and Sebastian finally looked to his side and saw the waitress. He almost jumped, I don't know if it was for excitement or chock.

"Oh there you are", he said and took his hand forward for her to shake. She smirked and raised an eyebrow.

"So I'm the famous waitress?" She asked and looked down at his hand. "Who are you?" Sebastian frowned and took his hand away.

"I'm Sebastian Morgernstern", he said and smiled brightly. I raised an eyebrow and made a small frown, hoping no one would hear. Though the male waiter raised an eyebrow and smiled at me.

"How formal", she said and leaned backwards to the waiter. "Isn't he formal?" The waiter finally took his gaze away from me, letting me breath and I looked at Sebastian.

"He doesn't look formal". I saw Sebastian eyes grow wide.

"I do actually come from one of the finest families!" He yelled. The waiter smirked.

"I guess that's only true in the Christian community?"

"Who… Who the hell are you?" He asked and for a second I feared for the waiters life, but he seemed calm and just smirked. I admired him for his bravery.

"I don't think you deserve that knowledge", he said, "It might hurt you precious head."

"Oh yeah", Sebastian said and leaned in on him. "What head?" My eyes grew wide.

"Sebastian!" I snapped, "stop it." Sebastian turned to look at me.

"You saw that didn't you?" He asked and pointed at the waiter. "He just verbally molested me, and you are my witness."

"No he didn't, Sebastian", I said and got up from the chair. "You sort of started it and implied it." The waitress made a laugh and the waiter just smiled.

"What? So you're on the fags side?" He asked and kept pointing at the waiter.

"Fa…" I didn't get to say anything, when he turned around to look at the waiter again.

"Tell me I'm right", he said.

"You are", the waiter said and shrugged and didn't really seem to care. "Though I actually like both, you know, bisexual."

"It doesn't matter!" Sebastian snapped, "you still like boys. God says men shall not lie with men. You are disgusting. You're kind is disgusting." I felt my heart stop at a point, not knowing why. I couldn't believe he called him disgusting, he didn't even know him.

"Okay that's it!" The waitress said and grabbed Sebastian's wrist. "You're out of here, you piece of shit." I watched as she almost throw Sebastian out.

"Hey, Pretty boy!" He yelled back at me, "look I got her so hooked up on me, she can't get her hands of me!" He laughed as she pulled him after her. "Come on!" He yelled back at me, "You cant stay in there! You don't know what that scumbag will do to you, unless you wa…" And then the waitress slammed the door in his face. A few looked in our direction and I felt myself blush.

"Erm… I should go", I said and looked at the waiter. "I'm so sorry, though." The waitress came walking back and as she had forgotten me, her look went straight at me and I thought she was going to kill me.

"What are you still doing here, huh?" She walked towards me and I could feel her breath against my lips. It smelled like beer. "You should leave before I torture you!" I jumped a little and was about to go when someone caught my wrist.

"He's not like the other one", the voice said and I looked down, seeing a hand with dark blue polished nails.

"Oh god! How do you know?" The waitress said and looked at her friend. "What if he's just to big of a pussy to say anything!" She looked at me and her face was red, but not in a sweet blush red way, it was a dangerous angry red. "Are you… _are_ YOU?"

"Would you relax", I said surprising myself, seeing her face getting it's pale color again. "Sorry, I didn't mean it." The waiter let me go and started to laugh.

"Ooooh Camille", he said and looked down at her. "He just sat you straight!" She looked up at him and sighed.

"I'm sorry", she said and looked at me. "I shouldn't judge you because you hang out with such a dick of a friend."

"He is not my friend", I said and removed some of my hair there was covering my eye. "He's just my partner in this thing." I pulled up the brochures and they both took one and stared blankly at the front page.

"Oh so I was right", the waitress said and looked up at me and smirked, "you are a choir boy."

"Im _not_… a choir boy", I said, "I hate to sing, but if you mean Christian yes. If you mean crazy Christian then… no. My parents are though. They believe in the whole no sex before marriage, and punishment if you are being cocky." The both stared at me with wide eyes.

"So you are a bad boy", the waiter said and raised an eyebrow.

"I… don't know."

"I mean…" He took my hand slightly and touched my knuckles and made me flinch, "this is a punishment." I looked down seeing my red knuckles, remembering my father with his cane, hitting me over and over again.

"I… I should go", I said and pulled my hand away. I don't know what was wrong with this guy, but he made me nervous. I felt my heart pound hard against my chest. I felt so embarrassed, when he touched me.

"Oh well", the waitress said, "I'm Camille, and next time you come to visit us, I will give you a cup of our famous and delicious hot coco. And by next time, I mean tomorrow." I raised and eyebrow and nodded.

"Sure", I said and smiled and looked at the waiter, "then, we will se each other tomorrow." The waiter smiled and his gaze slide down and up again at me. My heart pounded harder and I wanted to turn around to avoid him, but I couldn't take my eyes of him, he was smiling at me through his eyes. I could see them shine and glisten. He had thin shaped eyebrows and thick eyelashes covered in a golden mascara. I smiled again and looked away and I saw Sebastian hammer on the window, saying something. I started to walk and as soon as I grabbed the doorknob.

"Hey!" The waiter yelled and ran towards me. "What is you're name?" I turned around and I saw his desire in his eyes. He really wanted to know who I was. I smiled.

"That's a knowledge you don't deserve", I said teasing. I turned around and rolled my eyes, why would I say that? I know he had said that to Sebastian, and I thought it would just be fun to tease him a little. I opened the door, and heard a small bell cling, before closing it behind me. Sebastian came running towards me.

"What the hell, Alec", he said, "What were you doing in there?" I walked pass him and hugged myself.

"I didn't do anything", I said. I turned around to look at the diner, seeing Camille and the mysterious waiter laughing with each other. Sebastian ran to my side and sighed.

"Well", he said, "That waitress was tight as an asshole! I mean did you see her? She totally overreacted! That other waiter was just…" and he kept talking. The only thing I heard was the waiter's voice, silky and smooth with every word. He didn't even snap at Sebastian when he called him a fag. He was so calm. And the way he looked at me, so full of desire and with the small shiny star in his eyes there would shine so bright every time he blinked. I turned around again, and saw the diner was far away, leaving only the smell of new baked bread. Maybe I would come back tomorrow, to get that hot coco and maybe he would be there, and maybe then I would get to know his name. I guess that's why I didn't tell my name to him. I wanted to keep him interested. Because I'm not that interesting, so him not knowing my name, made me feel like the mystery I always wanted to be. A mystery people would want the name of.

**So did you likey likey? The two first chapters, are just going to tell the plot, so saying that chapter two will be up later TODAY (: I just have to make a few changes**

**I wanted to make a prologue but I suck at that, so I thought I would just mix it up in the two first chapters – I feel so smart, that's why they are long, loooooooong**

**Well, review if you like, even though the next chapter is coming up soon ;) Love you**

**- Brittany**


	2. A Hellish Bet

**Im so sorry i didnt get to post this one yesterday - but i dont know about the whole time difference, and i fell a slepp ! Here it is ! Early in the morning, for me at least xx**

**IMPORTANT TO READ THE LAST A/N**

* * *

**2. A Hellish Bet**

**Magnus´ POV:**

**I **moaned and let my arm slam down on the soft space beside me, feeling nothing but the emptiness on the silky sheets. I opened my eyes and saw my hand lying on the sheets, between the mess. I sat up, hearing the water from the shower. I frowned and fell down again. My body was still sweaty and my hips were trembling. I closed my eyes tight, remembered the hotness from every movement. The sweet moans and breaths and the voice speaking my name, like I was a God. I smiled and as I heard the water stop I opened my eyes again. The small glass door opened and a man came out, and I sat up, feeling the duvet slide down my body. He was slightly musceled and he had blond curly hair, hanging down in thick wet strands. I let my eyes slide down his body, seeing the water falling down his every muscle, my eyes stopped right at the towel only seeing a peek of the amazing V going down to heaven. I smirked and I looked up meeting his green eyes.

"Like what you see?" He asked and smiled. I raised an eyebrow.

"I would like to see more though", I said and let my tongue slide across my upper lip. He giggled and slowly touched the hem of the towel letting his towel revealing more of the beautiful V, before letting it fall down to the ground. I smiled and let my tongue slide between my teeth.

"That's more like it", I said and looked up at him. He walked towards me and let his knee fall down on the madras, before crawling across and stopped right in front of me. I felt his breath against my lips and I was about to lean into him when I felt his wet hand against my chest pushing me away.

"Slow down tiger", he said and laughed. "I need to see something more as well." I raised an eyebrow, but let my hands land against the madras and let them hold me up when I leaned a little backwards, letting the duvet slowly reveal my own V. He smiled and leaned in and kissed my chest, letting his tongue slide out making the spot wet before sucking on it. I moaned and let my head fall backwards. I could feel my skin between his teeth, and feeling how sensitive it would get with each suck. He stopped and let his tongue slide down across my nipple, before letting the tip of his tongue slidely play with it making me bite down my bottom lip.

"Oh God, yes", I hissed and giggled. I felt him smirk and he let his lips trace down further, letting them touch my stomach and his tongue would circle around my bellybuttom and his teeth would slowly take the duvet between them and I felt him slowly pulling it away. The cold air landed against me like an electric chock and I opened my eyes and gasped in surprise. He looked up at me.

"Are you okay?" I frowned and leaned forward.

"Well…", I let my fingertip touch his chest, feeling the hardness and the small amount of hair before letting in circulate. "I can always be better." He looked down and smirked.

"You're beautiful", he said and I heard a moan leave his lips. I blinked and stopped my finger. I have lost count on how many times people had said those words to me, without truly meaning it. I mean they meant I was beautiful, but for me it didn't matter, so they didn't mean it. I knew I was beautiful, people didn't needed to tell me that, but I always wanted to see how it would feel like, if someone I cared about said it. I bet it would make my heart stop and make me all flustered and lovey dovey. I frowned by the thought. Why would I want that. Why would I only want _one _person telling me I was beautiful, when I could make 10 people in one day say it, when I wanted it. And how I wanted it. I smiled and touched the mans jaw, letting my finger slide side too side.

"Say it again", I said letting my body lean further against his, letting our hips touch. He moaned again and I felt his hands on my hips.

"You-", he said and took a breath, "-are _so_ beautiful." He leaned in, and finally our lips touched. He was so pushy I almost felt myself fall backwards. I let my arms embrace his neck, pulling him harder against me, feeling his tongue slide in. I moaned and let my legs embrace his hips, and I lifted myself up. I felt his hand go down to my ass, using it to hold me up. I let my head tilt to the side, taking him all in, letting my tongue slide against his. I tried to slow down the kiss, but his lips was so fast and all over the place, that if I slowed down I might just get swallowed. I pushed him down on me, feeling our chests slam against each other. His heart was fast and lustfull against my chest, and I couldn't help but moan more, and biting down his bottom lip. His lips were so soft and smooth and tasted like mint apple. I smirked and leaned away.

"Did you take some of my lip balm?" I asked and raised an eyebrow. His green eyes laughed at me and his lips smiled.

"I wanted a little taste of you", he said and grabbed my face before pulling me hard against him again. I whimpered when our lips collided, feeling our teeth slam against each other. His hands slid down to my hips.

"You are so tiny", he said against my lips, "I'm scared I might break you."

"Break me?", I said, "soooo… don't you think what we did last night have broken me? I mean you were pretty hard, slamming youself like that inside me. I mean…" I leaned away and raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm pretty sure I heard a crack. And I can barely walk and I have to go to work today." He blinked and let his hand slide up to my waist, giving me shivers.

"But I thought you liked it like that?" He said, "being dominated, being-" He leaned down letting his lips slidely touch mine. "-Fucked so hard till you bleed." I gulped and looked away,

"What kind of masochist are you?" I said. I felt a hand under my chin forcing my eyes to his.

"The right one?" He asked with a small laugh. I fisted my hand and slammed it soft against his chest making him laughed harder.

"Not funny, Woolsey" I said and pushed him off me. "I mean it! You could have killed me!" Woolsey raised an eyebrow and got up and touched my hands.

"Im sorry, Magnus", he said, "I just missed you, it has been a whole month since our last encounter." I looked down at our hands, wanting this to be real.

"Just-", I shook my head and looked up at him. "-Promise that next time you will be a more… gentle masochist." He smiled and kissed my cheek.

"Well I'm glad there will be a next time", he said, "don't worry, I will be gentle, wouldn't want to scare you away." I pulled my hands away from him and crossed my arms.

"Nothing can scare me away", I said.

"Oh yeah?" He said and raised an eyebrow. "Now that's not completely true." He walked over to a small pile of clothing taking up a pair of tight white pants pulling the up, covering his legs.

"What does that mean?" I asked and walked towards him. He turned around and zipped up.

"I think you know", he said and leaned down taking a dark green shirt up.

"I think you know, that I don't know", I said and smiled. He frowned and took the shirt on, stretching out the few curly lines.

"Magnus…", he said and tilted his head to the side. "Stop joking around." His voice was gentle but firm, making my lips fall down to a sad smile.

"Woolsey…", I said in a bored voice. "I really don't know what you're talking about." He grabbed a pair of black shorts and threw them at me. I catched them and looked down seeing it was my working shorts.

"Wow… you really want to get rid of me that fast", I said surprised by the sad tone. I turned around and bending down to grab my blue underwear pulling them up before taking on the shorts.

"This is youre house", Woolsey said, "I'm just trying to save your job. You've been late this whole week." I looked up at him surprised.

"And how do you that?" I asked and buttoned up my shorts. "Been stalking me?" Woolsey laughed and grabbed a white t-shirt throwing it at me.

"Camille called me, saying I need to help you're cute little butt out of bed today", he said, "she knew I was here, and she knows what that means." I took the t-shirt on and walked over to a mirror, grabbing a small silver bottle with silvery glitter inside.

"That girl knows to much", I said and started to spike up my hair, using hairspray and slowly sprayed some of the silver glitter on it.

"You know, you are going to ruin youre hair by using all of those products, right?" I turned around.

"Look, Woolsey, I don't know about you, but I love to look good, no matter the cost", I said, "we only live once, so why live life ugly, when you can live life beautiful?"

"I think I live life beautiful", he said, "I mean as in my life not my looks."

"What are you saying?", I said, "that I don't live life beautiful? That what?..." I let my arms go up to both sides, "that I'm dirty? Because I have sex with different men every night? That im jut having fun? Are you calling me slut?" Woolsey looked like I just punched him, which I wished I had done instead.

"I'm not saying anything like that", he said and walked towards me. "I'm just saying that we have two different meanings of a beautiful life, and it dosnt matter how you or me see it." He touched my cheek, letting his thumb slide across my cheekbone. "I'm sorry, Magnus. I didn't mean it like that." I frowned and turned around and took a golden mascara up, letting it touch my black eyelashes.

"So tell me, Woolsey", I said and turned around again to look at him. "What is it im afraid of?"

"You really wonna talk about that?"He said, "_now_?"

"Sure", I shrugged and walked over to a black leather shoulder bag, swinging it over my shoulder. "Since we are being so honest."

"Magnus…", he walked towards me but I stopped him by taking up a hand.

"Don't bother, Woolsey", I said, "I know what you are going to say! I sleep with different men every night. I cant commit to have one man in my life or a woman or…" I sighed and touched my neck. "You think I'm scared of having a serious relationship, but I'm not! I can have a relationship. I had a relationship!"

"If you are talking about Camille, you cant call that a relationship. You two were drunk and you kissed and had sex and dated for a month and then stopped because you guys couldn't have such a 'relationship'", he said and tried holding back his laughter. "Magnus that's not how it works. You find someone, and when you kiss it's like a million sparks and nerves are suddenly awoken. You want to see this person everyday, hold him, kiss him and love him. A relationship is about love, but also about trust. You need to trust yourself Magnus."

"Trust myself?" My voice was almost like a whisper but he heard me.

"You need to trust your heart. That you can do those things", he came closer and I felt his body heat against mine. "It's like you're scared to open yourself up. And you need trust to do that."

"You know…", I said with a small smile. "I thought I could do that with you. We have been fuckbodies for 2 years and a year ago, I thought I actually had fallen in love with you…" I stopped seeing his surprised face. "I really wanted us to be real, and today I still felt those feelings. I'm 25 years old, and I need to settle down and stop working at my friends' diner." I looked up at him seeing his green eyes look at me. They didn't say much they just looked at me, it was only the nervous twitch of his lips making me know what he thought.

"But I know we cant do this", I said, "we agreed we were just going to have sex. Fun and… mindblowing sex. I think it's the fact that I started to open up to you, there scared me away. Telling you about my past, everything. Im sorry I shut you out for a month. I just needed time to think."

"And I guess you were done thinking", he said with a small voice. I nodded and looked up at him. His eyes was glistening and shining.

"I love you, Woolsey", I said trying to hold back his tears. "But… I don't love you the way I want to love you. Please don't hate me?" He blinked and made a small smile.

"I don't hate you Magnus", he said, "you know you could be a excellent therapist, the way you can make conversations." I laughed and tightened my grip around the bag.

"I guess I can thank you, for teaching me to at least trust somebody", I said, "I might be able to trust the right one at some point." I knew the words came out wrong, and I made it sound like I couldn't trust him, but I knew he understood me.

"I hope you do to", he said, "you should really try it Magnus. It's an amazing feeling." I frowned and walked over to the door.

"So…", I opened the door and Woolsey walked out with me, "can I still have that next time?" Woolsey laughed and turned around to look at me, when I closed the door and I walked over to his side.

"You call me in a month", he said and leaned in and kissed me for a short second. "And stop twisting around conversations like that, I hate it when you always manage to get the truth out." I shrugged and walked down the stairs.

"One of my many talents", I said and smiled and opened the door to the streets. "So I have to wait another month?" Woolsey walked over to me and stood in front of me.

"Yeah, you used a whole month to wait to call me, because you needed time to think", he said and touched my cheek again. "Maybe another month is all you need. You can either think of me or find someone else." He leaned in and kissed me, and I knew this would be our last kiss. I took a hand behind his neck pulling him closer against me. A sweet and nice last kiss. I heard someone cough and we pulled apart. I licked my bottom lip and looked down on a small white woman. Her hair was grey and she had a big yellow rain jacket on, even though it didn't rain.

"Mrs. Hall", I said and smiled. She squinted her eyes and looked from me to Woolsey and back to me. She murmured something and walked pass me.

"Please never let me end up like that", I said smelling the sent of tobacco. I used my hand as a fan.

"When you get old", he said, "I doubt you will end up like her." He looked at me one last time and leaned in and gave me a quick kiss.

"I will be seeing you around", he walked out on the streets and waved at me before running across the road. I made a slow hesitant wave. I could still taste him on my lips, and I think I would miss him in a way. He was the first one I had ever really thought I was in love with, and he would probably be the last one.

**XxXxX**

"Magnus you are sulking, again", Camille said, trying to clean up a glass. I sighed and looked up at her. She was standing behind the counter, trying to clean up the many glasses. "You need to get over Woolsey." I took my hand under my chin and my elbow on the counter and leaned against it.

"It's not that", I said, "what am I going to do a whole month. This is going to be one boring month." I had told her everything. Well almost everything, not the part me almost thinking that I might have had feelings for Woolsey Scott.

"Wow, horny much", she said and placed the clean glass on the counter. My eyes grew wide and I felt my body shiver of the word.

"You have no idea", I moaned out and smiled. A man came up from behind me and leaned against the counter.

"If you two don't get to work", he said, "you're going to close up!" His skin was greenish, and his hair was almost white and it was short and sticking out to all sides and his eyes were black.

"Relax, Ragnor", I said and leaned away from the counter. "We were just taking a break."

"You have been taking a break since you got here", he said, "now, I don't care if you are not getting any dick for a whole month. I care about business." He leaned away and looked at me. "And you're not helping on that department."

"Wow, Ragnor, angry much?" Camille asked. He looked up at her and I felt her jump.

"Stop ending every fucking sentence with _much_, it makes you sound much more stupid than you all ready are." I heard her gasp and I couldn't help but giggle. He grabbed my shoulder.

"And you…!", he pushed me away from the counter. "You can start with getting that minor away from the bar! I don't want any trouble with the police." He pushed me away again before leaving. I blinked in surprise seeing a few eyes stare at me.

"He is just upset that I didn't wanted to blow him in the staff room", I said and made a wink, and I just managed to see their horrified looks before turning around. I walked down a step towards the minor, Ragnor had pointed at. And as I came closer I felt my steps slowing down. He was leaning against the counter, touching the counter like it was a delicate flower, and his eyes were closed. He was wearing a white shirt, there was hanging a piece of it out from the waistband of his black pants. He looked like a bible boy. His black hair was falling down his perfect pale face, covering up his eyelids. His jaw was tight and strong and cheekbones was high, and there was a small blush across them. I walked slowly towards him and leaned in against him. He was so silent, I could only hear a few small breaths from his nose and a small hum, like he was singing the song there was playing on the radio, inside his mind.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" I asked and he sighed.

"It's…", his voice came out in a sweet moan and it sounded so sweet, that I couldn't help but lean in closer. "So beautiful". I looked down at him again, and I could just sense the perfect amount of muscles from his arms and chest.

"It sure is", I said wanting just to pull every piece of fabric of him. It was like he finally realised I was right next to him, because his eyes slowly began to open, and his thick black eyelashes cast shadows under his eyes. He turned his head and he almost touched my nose, and I saw the surprise in his eyes when they grew wide. And just then I saw how beautiful blue they were. They had a pale crystal blue to them. They were like a piece of the sky above on a sweet summer day. He took a step back, and I saw his eyes slide down. I was disappointed to loose their contact. I wanted him too look at me again, but I didn't mind him checking me out either. I couldn't help but smile when I saw his eyes slowly reach mine. His eyes matched his pale skin and black hair, making him look almost not human, he was to perfect.

"I don't think you're allowed at the bar", I said and smiled, trying not to seem the obvious checking out a innocent little bible boy. He was probably not even legal. He blushed, making a small red line come across his pale cheeks.

"No… erm", he said seeming uncomfortable. "I'm sorry, I was just caught in the moment." I looked down at him again, seeing his body tense.

"I see", and I let my eyes slowly reach his. "Do you… want anything?" I don't why I asked him, but the bar didn't only sell alcohol. But he would probably yell that I was trying to sell alcohol to a minor and then I would be fired. I wouldn't mind if that happened.

"I don't know what to get?" I blinked in surprise, getting caught of guard. I loved the innocent look he had. The sweet shine in his eyes, how they would look at me like I was a piece of sunshine blinding him. I wanted to tease him, just a little.

"How about…", I leaned in on him. "A blowjob?" His blushed became deeper. Mission accomplished. He took a step back and fell down on the chair. He looked astonished, and the funny part was that he didn't even know it was an actual drink.

"Don't bother the poor kid", a familiar voice said. "He's just an innocent little choir boy." She stopped next to me and kissed my cheek, and I couldn't help but smile.

"I'm not a choir boy", he said and I looked over at him seeing him look down at his hands. I saw his knuckles were completely red and a few were bleeding. I squinted my eyes and looked up at him again and I was about to say something.

"`Scuse me?" Camille said and leaned forward, pretending she didn't hear what he had said. He looked up and was surprised to see her that close.

"I said I'm not a choir boy."

"Oh", she said and leaned away and smiled. "So you're not innocent either?" He looked towards me, and I don't think he noticed that he was looking at me. I couldn't help but giggle, that this poor boy had no idea what was going on. Suddenly a boy with blond looking hair walked up to Camilles' side.

"I cant find the waitress anywhere", he said and looked over at the boy and raised an eyebrow. "Wow, who touched you?" His eyes left the blond boy and looked at me and Camille, and the other boy looked to his side and jumped. I squinted my eyes together, not knowing what that was all about.

"Oh there you are", he said and took a hand forward to Camille.

"So I'm the waitress?" She asked and looked down at the boys hand. "Who are you?" The boy frowned and took his hand away.

"I'm Sebastian Morgernstern", he said and smiled. What a snob, I thought. I heard a small frown and looked down at the blue eyed wonder. He looked up at me, surprised that I had heard him and I just smiled.

"How formal", Camille said and leaned against me. "Isn't he formal?" I took my eyes away form the blue eyed wonder and looked at the blond boy. His eyes were black like the shadows under my bed, like the secrets of my life and I wanted to just scream and run away. That boy scared the crap out of me.

"He dosnt look formal", I said and I saw how his big black eyes grew wide.

"I do actually come from one of the finest families!" And at that point I wanted to scream, but it would be more like a scream of laughter.

"I guess that's only true in the Christian community?"

"Who… Who the hell are you?" Sebastian said, trying to act terrifying.

"I don't think you deserve that knowledge", I said in a bored voice, I almost wanted to yawn at the whole situation. "It might hurt you precious head."

"Oh yeah", Sebastian said and leaned in on me. "What head?"

"Sebastian!" The blue eyed wonder snapped. "Stop it!" Sebastian turned his head to look at the other, and I took the opportunity to roll my eyes with Camille.

"You saw that didn't you?" Sebastian said and pointed his finger at me. "He just verbally molested me, and you are my witness." I raised an eyebrow, not even sure there was such thing.

"No he didn't, Sebastian", the blue eyed boy said and got up from his chair. " You sort of started it and implied it." I heard Camille laugh and I couldn't help but just smile.

"What… so you are on the fags side?" Sebastian said, and he kept pointing at me. I wish I could just grab his finger and break it. His nails needed a manicure anyway.

"Fa…", the blue eyed boy seemed almost scared of the word, like Sebastian had just kicked him in the balls. I couldn't help but squint my eyes, trying to read him, but he wasn't really easy to read. The blond one, finally turned around to look at me.

"Tell me I'm right."

"You are", I said and shrugged. "Though I actually like both, you know, bisexual."

"It dosnt matter!" He snapped at me. "You still like boys. God says that men shall not lie with men. You're disgusting. You're kind is disgusting."

"Okay that's it!" Camille said and grabbed Sebastian by the wrist. "You're out of here, you piece of shit."

"Hey, pretty boy", Sebastian yelled back and I looked down at the boy he had called pretty boy. He did live up to that nickname. "Look I got her so hooked up on, she cant help but touch me!" Camille pulled him after her as hard as she could while he laughed. "Come on!", he yelled, "you cant stay in here! You don't know what that scumbag will do to you, unless you wa…" I sighed, finally hearing the door smack behind him, his voice was giving me a headache.

"Erm… I should go", a soft voice said and I looked down. "I'm so sorry, though." Camille came back and looked down at the poor boy like she had forgotten him.

"What are you still doing here, huh?" She walked towards him, like she was going to kill the poor guy. "You should leave before torture you!" The boy jumped and when he started to move I grabbed his wrist, to my own surprise.

"He's not like him", I said.

"Oh God! How do you know?" Camille said and looked at me. "What if he's just to big of a pussy to say anything." She looked back at him and her face was red as a tomato ready to explode. "Are you… _are_ YOU?"

"Would you relax", he said in a silent tone like he didn't mean to say it out loud. "Sorry, I didn't mean it." I let him go and I started to laugh, this whole situation was just to epic and deserved a best fight award.

"Oooooh Camille", I said and looked at her. "He just sat you straight!" She look at me and sighed.

"I'm sorry", she said and looked back at the other boy. "I shouldnt judge you because you hang out with such a dick of a friend."

"He's not my friend", he answered and a piece of hair landed across his face and for a short second I considered to remove it, but I might give him a heart attack. "He's just my partner in this thing." He pulled up two white brochures and we took one each. The paper was white and smooth, and in the front there was a small brown cross and a picture of the church there was down the street. In front if it, it said, "Salvation is thee only solution."

"Oh so I was right", Camille said and looked at him surprised like she wasn't really sure. "You are a choir boy."

"I'm _not_… a choir boy", he said, "I hate to sing, but if you mean Christian yes. If you mean crazy Christian then… no. My parents are though. They believe in the whole no sex before marriage, and punishment if you are being cocky". My eyes grew wide, it was like he was used to say stuff like this. Like he just made a confession to us. But the Christians were like this, crazy believers or in his case open minded.

"So you are a bad boy?" I asked and raised an eyebrow.

"I… don't know."

"I mean…", I grabbed his hand slowly, touching his oozing and red knuckles and he flinched. "This is a punishment." He looked down at our hands.

"I… I should go", he said and pulled his hand away.

"Oh well", Camille said, "I'm Camille, and next time you come to visit us, I will give you a cup of our famous and delicious hot coco. And by next time, I mean tomorrow."

"Sure", he said and nodded and looked at me. "Then, we will see each other tomorrow?" I smiled and looked down at him again. He didn't seem Christian, because he was obviously flirting with me otherwise he was just very short sighted. His blue eyes kept looking at me, like he was waiting for me to answer or do something. He finally turned away and started to walk towards the door.

"Hey!" I yelled, snorting at myself. I kept surprising myself today. I didn't know why I had yelled at him, what should I say? Or do? I mean he was cute, but he's a Christian and probably not even legal.

"What is your name?" It was the only thing I knew I didn't knew about him, other then where he lived or went to school, but that would just be weird to ask. He turned around and smiled, like he was happy for my interest.

"That's a knowledge you don't deserve", he said and then he just walked out. I blinked in surprise and I was completely numb. Who was that boy? I wanted to know more. I was about to reach for the door when Ragnor grabbed my wrist.

"Oh no! You let that boy go!" He said and turned me around. "What are you doing, Magnus? Flirting with someone like him?"

"What? He is cute."

"Cute he is", Ragnor said and looked out. "But… you know, you cant do this." I rolled my eyes and looked over at Camille, who smirked.

"What?" I hissed. She walked over to me and stopped by crossing her arms.

"You cant have him, Magnus", she said, knowing that the fact irritated me. "Just give it up."

"Oh yeah!" I said, "who says I cant have him?"

"God", Ragnor said in a bored voice, and me and Camille turned to look at him. "What? Did you see that cross around his neck? He is soooo protected."

"Well", I said, "I will pull that necklace right of his neck."

"You cant", Camille said.

"Yes, I can!"

"No, you cant!"

"Yes i…"

"Okay!", Ragnor yelled, chocking me and Camille. "How about, a bet?" I raised an eyebrow and Camille almost jumped in joy clamping her hands.

"Perfect!" She said and made me look at her wide eyed. "You have a month, to unchristian that little flower! Oh and… get into his pants! You have to fuck that little Jesus."

"Camille!", I yelled, "What the he…"

"Aaaaaand….", Ragnor interrupted making me look at him. "As prove, you have to give us his cross and his virgin ring."

"And what the hell do I get from this?"

"500 dollars", Ragnor said and I think my jaw just hit the floor. "For those money you can come on that cooking school for the summer, you have been talking about." This was so unfair, he was blackmailing me. I love too cook, and Ragnor and Camille knew that, and they knew I wanted to go to this cooking school so badly. My mom was the one who taught me to cook, this was mine and her dream.

"500 dollars", I said a little hesitant. "… 500 dollars for sleeping with that boy and get his cross and virgin ring before a month?" They both nodded like crazy.

"Deal?" They both said and took their pinky in the middle.

"Deal", I said and we all intertwined our pinky. I couldn't help but smile a little, not knowing what else to do. This wasn't going to be easy. I was not going to get those money. But then again, I could get anyone I wanted, and it seemed like he had showed some kind of interest. So game on and hope that I will not end up in hell. Hell wouldn't do well for my hair spray.

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**Erm… I don't know if this chapter might contain M rated stuff… but I don't think so – I mean they didn't have sex or anything xD so its just going to stay as T rated.**

**Review is for those who likes Malec and just to keep me writing!**

**Reminding me, that I will not be able to write for around a week because I have been invited to this festival - STARTING TODAY! So yeah, you have looots of times to review (L)**

** But when I come home I will do my best to post two scenes, Alec´s party scene where he meats a special someone ;) And the Alec and Magnus scene, where Alec comes for that Hooooot coco :P yum !**

**- LOVE YA ! Brittany **


	3. Just a stranger

**Im back early from my festival, because im such a girl… I don't like mud or a flooded tent, sooo here I am!**

**And this chapter is very long, once again, because I think you guys deserve it!**

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SWEET REVIEWS xx **

**P.S I hope there isn't to many mistakes in this one... **

* * *

**3. Just a stranger**

**I** turned on my lamp and turned it of again. The light kept shining down on a biology assignment, there wasn't even half finished. I could see the moon outside from my window, giving my room a gloomy blue color. I frowned, I knew Sebastian wasn't coming to get me, at least he wouldn't ruin my pretty face. I snorted at that. I don't have a pretty face. I turned on the lights again and looked up, into a small mirror. My skin was pale, with the small usual blush across my cheeks. My eyes had an almond-shaped, with the pale crystal blue circle in the middle. I let my fingers caress my cheek, feeling the softness. I touched my lips, feeling the wetness from the water I had been drinking. I wonder what it would feel like kissing somebody? If it would be soft and wet, or in my case sloppy. I hadn't kissed anyone before, I have only seen it on TV, and they made it look so easy. I just don't understand, how people can control their lips, tongues and breaths at the same time, while making sure you are actually kissing the lips and not the cheeks.

I heard a bump, waking me up. I looked from side to side, seeing nothing. It was probably Jace playing basketball. I heard the noise again, and this time it sounded like rocks against glass. I got up and walked over to my window and opened up for it.

"Sebastian", I whispered, "You came?" He looked up at me, wearing a long v-necked black t-shirt with grew tight jeans.

"Dude! I cant go to the party without you", he said and smiled. "What are you wearing?"

"Erm… why do you care?", I said and looked down at my clothing. It was the same shirt and pants I have been all day, and they smelled the newly baked bread from, _The Peacock_.

"Because… I can't go anywhere with you looking like crap", he said and sighed. "Don't wear the saggy pants and sweaters, find something tight." I furrowed my eyebrows. I didn't owe anything tight. Why would I have anything tight? People wearing tight clothing are those with great bodies, with a muscular body and a small waist. Making them look like a mannequin.

"I'll… go look", I said and made a small smile before turning around. My closet was a big mess, and everything was black. My sister always says that the closet tells a few word about a person, so I guess im a big mess. I found a pair of black tight pants and a v-neck dark blue t-shirt. I frowned my nose, having no idea how I got this, after a few tries, I finally managed to get the pants on. I tried to fix my messy hair before turning back to the window.

"Okay", I said, "I'm coming down." I lifted my leg over the windowsill, feeling the wood trying to get a hold on my pants. I looked over at my bed, and tried to make it look used, before taking the last leg over. I started to crawl down, using the few wholes there were on the building wall.

"You are getting too good at this", Sebastian said, "I have officially corrupted the priests son." I made the last few steps by a jump, and turned around to look at him.

"Well…", I said and started to clean my hands on my pants leaving a few dirt spots, "it would have happened at some point." Sebastian nodded and clapped my shoulder.

"I'm glad to be youre wingman", he said and let his arm go around my shoulder, "and may I say…", he pointed a finger against my chest, "you look good in tight clothing, those girls are going to flip." I made a nervous laugh, trying to act like what he said was funny. I rolled my eyes at the thought, even talking to them. What was I going to say? Girls have never been interested in me, either had I been in them. My eyes went wide of the thought.

"They better flip", I said and looked at him, "I need to… feel a girl flip." I definitely need a girl to flip, to get those thoughts out of my head. Sebastian looked down at me and started to laugh, and started to pull me harder against him.

"Just don't say that", he said, "that will just make them make twirl around and leave."

**XxXxX**

The house we entered was small. There were people everywhere, holding one of those cliché blue plastic cups. There was a red carpet in the hallway, with messy wet stains and a lot of empty cups. There was a white paper lamp, shaped like a million flowers, with a pink light flashing out.

"Wow", I said and touched a flash of a pink flower, seeing it on the palm of my hand. "Is this the right address?" I looked over at a few people sitting on the sofa making out, and the music was so high I could barely hear myself think.

"Sebastian?" I said and turned around. "Seba…." He wasn't standing beside me anymore. I wasn't sure he had been standing beside me at all. I walked through the crowd, almost getting swallowed by the many dancers. I found a small sofa and sat down, having a full view to the make out couples across me. I nodded at them and took a random cup and took a sip. It tasted like cough syrup and the substance was green. I sat the cup down again and just tried to ignore the fact that I was the only one, having nobody else to talk to.

I looked over at the people making out. It was a cute couple. The girl had short black hair, and was wearing a small red dress. The boy had short blond hair and his shirt was slightly open revealing some of his chest. I tilted my head to the side, seeing a small amount of hair peeking up. I let my eyes slide up to their lips. They were kissing each other passionately. I could see there tongues touch and sometimes touch there lips. The way there lips moved was so synchronous, that they seemed perfect together. There lips was moving at the same time with the others, making it look so easy. They would sometimes stop and I could hear them moan against each other. The boy leaned closer against her, letting their bodies touch. His hand was sliding up her bare leg, going under the dress. I blushed and looked down. I couldn't believe I had been starring at them French kiss. I seemed like a crazy person.

"Blue eyes?" I heard someone say. I looked up to my side and there was nobody there. I sighed and leaned back against the sofa, and made a quick look over at the couple. His hand was under her dress and she had started to moan louder, and her breath was almost out of control. I blinked seeing him open his eyes and he looked directly at me. He just kept starring at me, and I had no where else to look. His eyes were big and brown, and they were glistening and I could tell he was enjoying what ever he was doing. He kept kissing the girl and he let his eyes slide down me and when he meat my eyes again he winked. I blushed even more and looked away.

"Hey!" I looked up, hoping it wasn't coming from the girl getting kissed like crazy. It was a girl with long brown hair and sea green eyes.

"H… hey", I said not knowing if I should know her. She smiled and pushed me so she could sit next to me.

"Heeeeey", she said with a drunk laugh and kissed me on both of my cheeks, like a French hallo.

"I'm sorry", I said, "I don't know if I know you are anything, but who are you?" She started to laugh and I could see a pink stone shine on her tongue.

"No, no", she said and took a sip of her plastic cup. "I'm one of the 3 friends, you probably didn't notice me, because I'm not very noticeable. But I'm noticeable nooooow", she let her strop fall down and shot her boobs forward. "Look how big my boobs look in this top." She looked over at me like I was suppose to answer.

"Erm... sure", I said, "I like-", I pointed at her bra. "-I like youre bra. It's a good color." Her bra had a dark red with black laces.

"Oh yeah", she said, "I got in sparkz." I smiled and took her strop, setting in back on her shoulder.

"I'm Alexander", I said and she grabbed my hand caressing it lightly.

"Alexxxxxx-", she said and looked down at our hands. "-aaaander! You have girly hands, did you know that? They are smoooooth." She said and her head went down to my hands and I heard her sniff them. "They smell amaziiiing!" And suddenly I felt something wet against my knuckles. I pulled my hand away from her and looked down seeing a wet layer.

"What…."

"And they taste good", she said and laughed again and let her head fall on my shoulder. "Just like girls hands."

"I… I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or…"

"You know… my two friends kept talking about the blond one, while I couldn't help but only think of you", she said and snuggled her head against my head. "Your blue eyes, pale perfect skin and beautiful raven hair. It's just the perfect mixture, ever." I looked down and got her hair in my mouth.

"Who did you say you were again?" I asked trying to get her hair out of my mouth.

"I'm Cece", she said and suddenly leaned away and looked down at me. "Hey, wonna fuck?"

"I don't think so", I said and wrinkled my nose. "You're to drunk."

"No I mean, my friends are going to fuck each other with Sebastian", she said and touched the buckle of my belt. "So I thought maybe you and I, could do our business in the sheets." Her hand was trying to unbuckle my belt and I felt her lips against my neck. I jumped in chock, and of the wet texture and how her teeth were nipping against my skin. I gasped and grabbed her shoulders and pulled her away.

"Cece, I can't do this to you", I said, " I mean you're drunk." She shook her head.

"It's okay", she said and leaned in on me again. Her lips touched my neck for a brief second before I pulled her away again.

"I… I can't."

"Are you a virgin?"

"Noooooo….", I said and saw her eyebrow shot up. "I… mean, sort of. I…. yes I'm a virgin."

"Well…", she said and I felt her hand go under my shirt. "I'll be very gentle." Her hand went up to my chest and I felt her fingers grab my nipple and squeeze. I shrieked and got up.

"I think you need some water."

"I don't like water", she said and grabbed the hem of my pants and looked straight at my crotch. "I like something a little whiter and thicker." She licked her bottom lip and leaned in. I bucked my hips backwards and giggled nervously.

"I'll… be right back." I pushed her back and it looked like for a second she fainted against the sofa. I took a brief look at her waiting for a sign of life, before she started to laugh, loudly. I turned around and walked out the kitchen. There were people everywhere, and they wouldn't let me get through. They were shouting and playing a weird game on the table, trying to get a small ball down in one of the many cups filled with beer. I got to the sink and grabbed a glass and started to fill it up.

"Drink, Drink, Drink, Drink!" Some people was yelling. I turned around, seeing 4 boys holding up another boy, on the upside down. I squinted my eyes and tried to move a girl in front of and I saw Sebastian, with his legs in the air and a long tube in his mouth. The tube was connected to a big beer can and it kept pumping beer into his mouth. My eyes widened and I felt the glass flood over. I turned the water of and looked over at Sebastian again and saw him being sat down, he swayed side to side and had a fist in the air for triumph and he was yelling, with the other around him. A girl came flying in his arms and they were making out like crazy. I let my hand touch the chain around me neck, and I found the cross on the end. If our families knew what we were doing, they would think we were possessed by Satan.

I finally tried to get away from the crowd, with the dripping glass in my hand. The water was cold and it made my hand slippery, and a person danced into me and I dropped the glass.

"Damn it…" I mumbled and I bend down trying to get the glass away, when another person pushed me and I got a piece of glass go into my palm. I whimpered and took my hand up, seeing the glass in the skin, seeing the blood slide down. I got up feeling dizzy, my head started to spin around and around, and the most funny thing was the music in the background.

"_You spin my head right round right round when ya go down when ya go down down"…_

I frowned and walked towards the cold brief I could feel against my skin. There was a glass door open and as I reached the doorframe, I stopped for a minute and I just took a deep breath, trying to calm my head down. The wind was cold against my skin, giving me chills, but the most great full chills. My head started to relax, but the pain was still in my hand, making my fingers numb. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back and opened them slowly looking up at the stars. The sky was black, with a dark blue touch. The stars were white and shiny, blinking down at me. There were million of them, maybe more, they were eternal. My grandmother used to tell me, I reminded her of stars. They will always show up and shine bright in the darkest hour, but they would always keep the distant to others. But every once in a while, a star would be so close to another, they would shine like the purest gold, and when they did that, it would be the most beautiful thing. I never knew what she meant by that, but as I grew up I started to realise when she spoke of the stars she was talking about me. I was about to step back in when someone pushed me out and the door closed behind me. I turned around and touched the door and started to hammer on it.

"Hey!", I yelled, "open up!"

"Would you be quite!" I turned around and saw a shadow sit against the wall. "If you have to yell, go upstairs, the couple up there is doing a great job." I blinked and leaned away from the door.

"I'm sorry", I said, "I… someone just pushed me out and shut the door."

"The door closes by it's self", the voice said, "and people are dancing, so the person pushing you out probably didn't mean to."

"I know…", I said in a bored voice, but trying to keep myself in control I hated that I couldn't see the person. "Would you come out in the light."

"Why?", the voice started to giggle. "Are you scared?" I took my hands down my pocket.

"N-no", I said feeling my voice crack. "Why wont you come out in the light?"

"Because I look like shit", the voice said, "that's why."

"Oh."

"Yeah, Oh", the voice said and I saw a small spark of fire as the person lit up a smoke. I could tell it was a man, when he took the smoke to his lips, seeing a small amount of stubbles.

"Soooo…", I said and looked behind me, seeing a small path going back to the front of the house. "I will go."

"Come on now", he said and took a puff. "You're the first one I have meet all night. Keep me company."

"I'm sorry", I said, "I really have to go."

"Scared that I might rape you?" The voice and made me stop. My body stiffened and it was like I couldn't move. "So, that's what you were thinking? You're a very naughty, do you know that?"

"Are-", my eyes looked back at the party, seeing all the people dance against each other. "-Are you going to?" The man took another puff and I saw him get up. He took a few small steps, before hitting the light. I took a step back, but stopped when I saw his eyes red and dark. He had been crying. It looked like he had been crying for hours, the way his eyes were all red and there were still tears on his cheek.

"Still think I'm going to rape you?" He asked and lifted an eyebrow taking another puff. He had blond silky hair and his eyes were green, just like CeCe's. His skin was pale from the light, but I could tell it was a little darker.

"I… I'm sorry", I said feeling guilty letting him show himself. He looked so sad, the way his moth was a straight line and he looked down on the ground. "I'm sorry for accusing you for… going to rape me."

"I can't blame you", he said and laughed, "I would be scared if I looked like you. Being locked out, with a scary dark shadow." I blushed and I felt my body tickle.

"Thanks", I mumbled and looked back at the party.

"Keeping an eye on somebody?"

"Yeah", I said and looked back. "My friend. I came here with him, and he is messing around as always." The man came walking towards me and stopped right in front of me. I looked up at him, feeling his green eyes pierce against mine. I couldn't get myself to look away from him, he was so beautiful, like a porcelain doll. I felt his hand go up to my neck and he touched the chain on my throat,

"Well hello Jesus", he said and caressed the cross. "You're one of them?"

"I belong to them", I said, "but I'm not one of them." I kept looking at him, it was the only way I could tell if he believed me. He smirked and let my necklace go.

"Why are you at a party like this?" He asked and walked back to the bench and turned on a small light above him.

"My friend brought me here."

"Yeah I got that", he said and looked over at me with a smile. "But why are you here?"

"I….", I walked closer towards him and stopped right in front of the end of the bench, "I'm bored"

"I figured", he said and took another puff. "I used to be like you. I had a loving family. We would pray at the dinner table, go to confession and do what ever a 'normal' family would do, until I told them I was gay." I blinked and slowly let myself fall down next to him. "I remember their faces. They were so stunned and surprised, and they thought I was going crazy. They tried to send me to treatments, they would do anything to make me straight. But in the end I just ran away, because I knew I would never change and that they would hate me forever. I was 15 years old." He looked over at me and smiled. "You see I got bored too, with the whole praying thing and you can't be out until 10 and what ever. I did the same as you, and I have never regretted it ever since."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because… well first of all I'm drunk", he showed me a half finished vodka bottle. "And heartbroken. So I'll basically just tell you anything. And you reminded me of me, and I'm glad to see someone like you out here having fun. You deserve it."

"Yeah, except…" I let my hands go between my knees and sighed. "I'm not gay."

"Oh no, no no no", he said and started to laugh. "That would be bad, you might be Satan. Because if you love the same gender as yourself you might be possessed and therefore you shall be put to death." I blinked and looked over at him. I saw another tear run down his cheek as he took another sip of the bottle. I have heard about people getting treatments for doing abnormal things in their eyes, even Sebastian's father started to give Sebastian special treatments, because he was parting and lying. Though he still does it but his father, don't know. I have seen the scars on his skin and the holes from the different needles there have pierced through his skin. I shivered remembering his scream the first time his father shaped a cross against his chest with a knife. I was at his place and we were 14, and I have never been so scared of anything before that day. Valentine, Sebastian father, scares me more than my own father. The way he looks at me when we are having dinner. My father and Valentine are best friends, and they come every second day to eat, and Valentine will just stare at me and smile. Like he knows something. I gulped and looked back at him.

"I'm sorry", I said, "you shouldn't go through something like that when you're only 15."

"Well", he said, "the past is the past. It was like 12 years ago. I'm over it". He smiled and took one last puff before he put the cigarette out on the bench.

"So who broke your heart?" I asked and I saw his eyebrows raise. "You know, it's always best to just talk to a stranger. Beside you have all ready told me your life story, so why not share this small one?" He laughed and took the bottle to his lips and stopped.

"He's an amazing person", he said and took the bottle down. "He just dosen't know it, that's why it's so heartbreaking. We have been fuckbodies for 2 years and we just met randomly at a gathering and we had sex and we decided to just stay like that."

"Fuck… bodies", I said and blushed, "well, that's a start right?"

"Aaaaand after 6 months I started to fall in love with him. I wanted to invite him on dates and what ever, and he knew, that in the end I had fallen", he said and put the bottle on the ground. "He tried to just forget and we were back were we started, to just have sex. Then a month ago, he didn't call me, until last night. He called me and we had sex and today he told me he thought he loved me the way I did, but he couldn't. He's so scared to open up for people, and I think I scared him away, because he finally did that to me. And the only thing he did was to thank me for helping him, and I think I should be grateful for finally helping him maybe find love." He stared blankly out on the grass and sighed. I didn't know what to say, I had never been in love or had anyone that close as he had. I hadn't even kissed anyone before.

"I… I think you should be grateful", I said and turned to look at me. "He sounds broken and you fixed him, maybe now he can move forward. And it might not be with you, but you will always be the one saving him, and in my eyes that's not something anybody can brag about. And in that way, you will always be his first." His lips started to go up and they slowly became a smile.

"I like you", he said and giggled. "Thank you, for talking to a drunk like me."

"Well… you should see the girl on the couch", I said, "she can't move."

"Whats her name?"

"CeCe?"

"Yeah", he said and laughed. "That's my dear cousin, a runaway just like I was on her age."

"Oh", I said, "well, you have the same eyes." He raised an eyebrow and I a saw a small movement and I looked down seeing his finger reach for my hand. I felt them touch my skin briefly, letting his finger slide across my knuckles.

"You do realise there is piece of glass in youre palm, right?" He asked and I heard him holding back a laugh. I took my hand away form his touch, seeing the piece of glass still in my palm. I had forgotten all about it.

"I…", I said and looked away. "I don't do well with blood." He grabbed my wrist and I felt him take the glass and slowly pull it out. I could feel it pinch against my skin, and how the blood would push it's way out and down my palm.

"There you go", he said and gave me the piece of glass. "That wasn't so bad, was it." I looked at the glass between my finger, seeing some of my blood on the edges.

"Yeah well", I said and threw it away. "I don't like it." He started to smile and shake his head.

"You're cute", he said and took the bottle. "You must know that." He took a big sip and I heard a pop sound.

"No", I said and looked at the wound in my palm and tried to clean it with my sleeve. "Not really."

"You know, my friend…", he said and pointed at me with the bottle. "The one who broke my heart, he would have adored you. You see, blue eyes and black hair is his favourite combination. But you wouldn't be interested, since you both are guys." He took another sip and just started to look out at the sky.

"Yeah", I mumbled, "both guys." I looked back at him, seeing how the yellow light made his skin look darker and his green eyes had a yellowish colour. His jaw was firm and strong, and he had high cheekbones, covered up in a small pink blush. It was probably the alcohol making him all pink. He turned to look at me and let his head tilt to the side.

"You keep starring at me", he said and I felt his hand on my thigh letting his finger walk up and down, sending shiver down my back. "Do you think I'm pretty? Sexy? Hot?" I looked down seeing how his fingers would play across my thigh.

"Well…", I said and looked back at him and smiled. "It's not like you're ugly." I was surprised that my voice was so direct and didn't even shake at the words. He started to giggle, and his hand found my cheek, and his thump would brush my cheekbone.

"You're not even pushing me away", he said and leaned in closer. "Usually someone like you would yell Satan, and push me away or stab me." I blinked at the feeling of his breath against my lips. It smelled like apple mint and it was making me dizzy, making my eyes almost close. Did I want to kiss him? Should I really have my first kiss with someone I randomly met. Whom I don't even know the name of? He was beautiful, with his silky blond hair and sea green eyes, starring directly at me. I let my eyes slide down to his lips. They where slidely parted and they had a beautiful red colour, and they looked kissable. I felt my whole body shiver when he leaned in closer and tilted his head to the side. If his lips touched mine it would be over for me, I wouldn't know what to do. I didn't even know if I would like it. If I wanted a _guy_ to kiss me. His lips was almost touching mine.

"Eeeeew gross", a drunken voice said, and I pushed myself away from him almost falling down from the bench. I looked up seeing Sebastian standing with a bottle in his hand. "Where you about to kiss him?" I stood up and looked down at the man. He just smirked and took another sip of his bottle and looked upset that it was the last sip.

"No…", I said and looked back at Sebastian. "I mean… it wasn't what it looked like."

"Duuuuuude", he said and walked towards me. "I'm telling my dad." He made a small twirl and took a step when I grabbed his arm, making him turn around.

"Please", I said feeling my voice crack. "Don't do it! You know what he would do to me! I thought you were my friend!" Sebastian looked down at his arm, pulling his it out of my grip. His eyes looked dark and black, and they were blank. Like he didn't know what I was talking about or that he just wouldn't care. He suddenly started to laugh out loud and looked back at the other man.

"Who the hell are you?" The man stood up and cleaned his hands on his pants and walked towards Sebastian.

"I'm Woolsey Scott", he said and took his hand forward. "A pleasure to meet you." Sebastian looked down at his hand and laughed again.

"Like I would touch you", he said, "I don't want to be infected." He looked back at me and walked as close as he could. So close I could smell his drunken breath.

"I wont tell my dad", he said and smirked. I felt my body relax and I couldn't help but sigh in relief.

"Thank you Seba…", he took his hand up to stop me for talking.

"I'm not even sure I will remember this tomorrow", he said and made a uneven step to the other side, almost falling down on the grass. "But if I do… you will have to do what ever I say, because then I will tell my father and Mr. Lightwood" He nodded at himself before taking another sip.

"Come on Pretty Boy", he said and grabbed my hand. "We're going home!" He pulled me towards him and I almost stumbled against him.

"Woolsey…" I said and turned around as he started to pull me away, "I'm Al…" He took a hand up to stop me.

"Don't!" He yelled back. "You were just a stranger helping me out, and I want to keep it that way!" I nodded before turning my attention back to Sebastian. He was stumbling forward trying to walk straight. I wanted to take a hold on him, but I was scared he might smack me or something. I was lucky he even wanted to hold my hand, and that was as close I needed to get to him. His hand was slippery and sweaty and I was almost loosing my grip.

"Don't let me go Alec", he said and yawned. "Wouldn't want you to run back to that fag." He turned around and looked at me and smirked. He looked sober and he seemed sober the way he had looked at me and talked. There was no doubt that he would remember all of this tomorrow, and I was scarred of the consequences. As the bible says, _"__If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death__"_, and Sebastian took the bible very seriously. And at this moment I wish I had to.

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**Okay here's the deal… I didn't plan on making chapters from Magnus'point of view, only a few important once – but I sort of want to do that know ! SO, QUESTION: Should I make every second chapter in Magnus´point of view? So it would be like, Alec, Magnus, Alec, Magnus etc, just like now?**

**Answer or not, I think I'm going to make every second chapter in Magnus´point of view!**

**Thx again for the many reviews, I hope to get just as much again :D haha, though I don't think I will get THAT much for this one chapter, but WHATEVER ! just one review will do, so far xx Reviews are for those who likes Hot Coco xx**

**- A Muddy Brittany xx **


	4. Faith, Hope, Love

**Just to make things clear, the point of views will be in different events, not like the two first chapters – there was a reason that those two was in point of views due to the same event (: **

**Thank you for the sweet reviews**

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**4. Faith, Hope, Love**

**Magnus` POV**

**The** rain had started to pour outside, making people enter the small diner. The people's faces were wet and cold, with long wet hair strops hanging down their faces. They were all laughing at each other, seeing all the wet coats and faces. They were talking like they have known each other for ages. Water made people talk, because they didn't really have a choice, standing in line to get a table. I leaned over the counter, with my hands trying to stretch my body over all the many people. None of them had the raven black hair, heavenly blue eyes or the sweet dulcet voice making my heart skip a beat. I sighed and let my body fall down against the counter, before leading the couple in front of me to their table.

"Could we get a table by the window?" The man asked taking the girl's hand. I looked down at their intertwined hands. Seeing how he clenched her hand, making her smile. I looked up at them, seeing them looking at each other, like they had forgotten me. He leaned in and let their noses touch slightly before kissing her slightly on her lips, making her giggle. I rolled my eyes and turned around.

"This way please", I said, taking them to a seat by the window. The man took out the chair for the girl, making her bow for thanks. I furrowed my eyebrows; I didn't think people acted like this anymore. They both took up the menu and looked for 5 seconds before looking at me. I smiled and took up my small notebook and grabbed the pencil there was behind my ear. The pencil was lime green with a peacock feather in the end.

"So what do you want?"

"Well…", the girl said making me look at her. Her eyes was a dark brown and her black hair was in a high wet bun, showing her structured face, she almost looked like a model, if it wasn't for the small mole on her jaw. "We would like something hot and romantic." She smiled and I couldn't help but smile back at her, "something nice. We just got married today, you see". She looked back at the man and let her hand slide across the table and touched his hand, showing two gold glittering rings.

"I don't know about hot", I said, "but I know this amazing drink, there will _give_ you the hots." Their eyebrows shot up in the air and they smirked.

"Well, do tell", the girl said and started to caress her husband's knuckles.

"It's this seductive champagne cocktail", I said and let the feather touch my knuckles, "it's a cocktail with red berries and with a hint of mint in sparkling champagne. There is nothing more seductively than that." They both nodded and started to look back each other eyes. I turned around and walked away, but couldn't help but look over my shoulder.

The way they were leaning in on each other, like couples would do, like it was just those two. The way they touched and caressed each other, just letting their fingers slightly touch, making a small amount of electricity. I didn't know that feeling. I looked down at the grown and looked up and walked over to the bar. I grabbed two crystal champagne glasses, and started to mix some raspberries with mint, water and Amaretto, in different mixers. I could hear how the mix would crash against each other, making it sound like the ocean hitting the rocks.

My mom had once taking me to a beach, when I was 5 years old. It was the first time I had ever seen the ocean; ever seen water like that. The water was light blue and got darker the longer out you looked. And there was white foam at the end, when the water hit the sand, leaving a small print of water with foam on the wet sand. I had been collecting glass there had been in the water for to long. It was all smooth and shaped with no sharp edges. I had found the colours interesting and I like the smooth surface.

"Magnus…", a voice said. I looked up at for a moment I thought I saw my mom stand by the beach looking straight at me, with her golden eyes, taking her arms out for me to run into.

"Magnus?...", I shut my eyes close and opened them again. Camille was standing in front of me, with wet hair and mascara down her cheek.

"You look terrible", I said and finished the mixes. She frowned and took of her dark green leather jacket of and sat on one of the chairs.

"Thank you so much", she said in a sarcastic voice and leaned forward letting her head fall into her palms, looking at me with a suspicious look. "Has Jesus entered?"

"Would you stop calling him that", I said and started to pour the glasses and grabbed four raspberries putting them in the glass, seeing them float on the edge. "I cant take any of this serious when you call him that."

"Well In my case my mission is working", she said and started to examine her nails. "I mean I'm loosing my money if you win."

"Oh", I said and smirked, "so you actually think I have a chance?" I leaned forward and looked at her. She smiled and shook her head, before putting her palm on my forehead, pushing me away.

"Yeah I think you have a chance", she said, "I know you can get into his pants. He has never tried being hit on or anything, so he will be curious. It's almost too easy." I took a cloth and wiped my forehead.

"Easy? I don't think so", I said and put the glasses on a trade. "He hasn't showed up yet." I took the trade and walked out of the counter.

"Well, if he shows up", she yelled, "I will take you're shift, so you have aaaaaall the time in the world." I wanted to show her my very special finger, there was placed in the middle of all my other fingers, but my hands were occupied with the trade.

The couple had started to make out, across the table for each other. The man caressed her cheek, with a very smooth movement. Their lips smiled against each other, before they pulled away and looked up at me with a huge smile on their lips. They were really cute together, and they reminded me of my mom and dad, when they were just like that. I blinked and sat the trade down on their table.

"I hope you will be seduced", I said and winked to them. They laughed and grabbed the glass and started to drink, keeping their eyes locked. The way they looked at each other, was almost breathtaking. I wanted to look at someone like that; I wanted someone to look at me like that. I turned around and saw a boy with black hair and blue eyes starring right at me. He was wearing a white shirt with a light blue sweater over it, showing the sleeves and the collar of the shirt. He was wearing black jeans and old sneakers. He blushed when he saw I was checking him out and I walked slowly over to him.

"I didn't think you would show up", I said and stopped in front of him and leaned against the counter.

"Well", he said and removed some wet hair across his face. "The weather is bad, it's cold and I was around, so I thought I would come for the hot coco." I couldn't help but laugh, his voice was shaking and he tried to be confident. I could tell he have had raincoat on, because his clothing was completely dry, except his pants and shoes. He looked even hotter, with the water dripping down his face, making him look all sweaty.

"We have a lot of different hot coco's", I said and went behind the counter. "Which one would you like?" He leaned against the counter and looked down at the card, with the many different names. He took his hand behind his neck and looked up at me, letting me get a closer look at his blue eyes. The black pupil was small, surrounded by light blue waves and the rest was darker. It reminded me of the ocean I had seen when I was 5; it looked just like that when the sun was hitting the waves in the right way, making them sparkle.

"I don't know", he said, "what do you like?" I lifted an eyebrow and grabbed a big and thick green glass.

"I came up with this myself", I said and started to warm some milk. "How about you go over there…" I nodded my head over at a small table with two seats down by the end of the room. He looked over and just started to walk, almost falling over the stairs. I giggled and looked down at the milk.

"So I guess I will be taking you're shift", a voice said and I turned around to see Camille in her uniform. "Good luuuuuck." She winked and turned around to go over to some of my tables. I turned around and started to mix the milk with chocolate and grabbed the green glass and started to pour. The coco was thick and creamy, and I could smell the sweetness. I grabbed the whip cream and mixed it in a bowl with some strawberries and started to mix before letting it fall on top of the coco. I walked over to the table and sat down the cop in front of him. I let myself fall down on the chair across to him, and crossed my legs.

"Here you go", I said and smiled. He looked down at the cup and took it in his hands and parted his lip, before touching the glass. I could see his adams apple jump from the drinking. He sighed and took the cup down.

"Oh wow", he moaned and looked up at me. "What is this?" I giggled and couldn't help but notice the whip cream moustache above his lips.

"It's hot coco from Belgium", I said and grabbed a napkin. "And whip cream with strawberries." I took the napkin up and leaned forward to remove the moustache. I felt him froze and his eyes were locked with mine. I loved how they stared at me, like he didn't know what to do. If he didn't know how to look at me or if he even should. My hand just froze against his lips. I could feel the softness of them under my fingertips and they had a sweet pink colour, just like a newborn strawberry.

"Erm… thanks", he said and grabbed the napkin and let it stroke one last time against his lips.

"My pleasure", I said and leaned back against the chair. "So… Pretty boy. Did you only come for the hot coco?"

"What do you mean?" He asked and let a finger slide across the whip cream.

"I saw the way you were looking at me yesterday", I said and looked down at his finger playing with the whip cream. "Or was that just in my head?" He looked up at me, and I could see that he was caught of guard, like he didn't know I had noticed.

"I… I don't know what you are talking about", he said and dried his finger of in the napkin. "I was looking at you as a person would look at someone, when they are talking together." I raised an eyebrow; maybe I had been wrong about the signals, but I'm usually not.

"So… Jesus boy", I said, "tell me about you're family?"

"My family?", he asked in surprise, "well… I have 3 siblings, two brothers and a sister and I live with my mom and dad. At those houses down the streets, the one there is right up against each other."

I knew those houses. Those houses were for all the Christian ones. Only Christian people lived in there, with their crosses hanging on their door and the church longer down the street. I hadn't walked there for years, I didn't dare to enter that street, at least not wearing anything colourful.

"I know those", I said in a bored voice, "so what's you're name?" This boy was hard to have a conversation with.

"What's yours?" He asked.

"I asked you first."

"Well… you asked me to come here, so I think I should know you're name first."

"Actually…", I said and took a finger up, "Camille told you to come, not me."

"So… you didn't want me to come?" I blinked in surprise. It almost seemed like the boy was flirting with me, but why would he? He didn't even look at me or anything; he just talked looking down at the table.

"I didn't say that", I said, "I just corrected you because you were wrong." He looked up at me and made a small smile.

"Fine…", he said and leaned forward taking his hand forward for me to shake. "I'm Alec". I looked down at his hand.

"Did you're parents stop at Alec?"

"Erm no…", he said and sighed, "Alec… Lightwood." I grabbed his hand and it was smaller than mine and very smooth with a few bruises on the knuckles.

"As in the priests son?" I asked and raised an eyebrow. He nodded slowly and blinked once and just kept looking at me as he was waiting for me to slap him or kill him, "I'm Magnus Bane". He smiled and he started to shake his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Magnus", he said and was about to take his hand away, before I grabbed it harder and looked down at his ring finger. A chastity ring. I frowned, of course he was wearing one of those, why was I so surprised. It had a dark silver colour and it was thick and smooth, with the letters, "Hope, Faith and Love" in scripted on the outside. He looked down and he had noticed I had seen the ring and he pulled his hand away.

"What's wrong?" He asked and touched his ring.

"Nothing", I said and shook my head, "I just didn't think that people were still wearing those."

"Still?", he asked, "did you use to wear one of these?" I frowned.

"What makes you think that?"

"I don't know", he said and shrugged, "it was just the way you said it."

"Well fine then", I said, "yeah I used to have one of those, but I lost it at the age of 15."

"15?", he said almost like he lost his breath, "you lost you're virginity when you were 15?"

"You make it sound like I started world war 3 or something", I said and looked down at my orange nail polish there were starting to crack. "But yes I did. It's not like it was a big thing or anything."

"Big thing", he said and furrowed his eyebrow. "It's you're virginity. It's something fragile and something you shouldn't just throw at somebody. I mean… I'm waiting for someone special, before I'm doing it, and this ring…", he looked down at it, "helps me to remember that. But 15… that's so young, that's 2 years younger than I am now."

"You're 17?"

"Yes?". Oh god, he wasn't even close at being legal. He was just a kid, a small innocent kid. I almost felt stupid for the bet, but everything was just like a huge turn on.

"You're so young."

"Erm… thanks", he said and tilted his head to the side. "How old are you? 19?" I giggled and touched the edge of my shorts.

"Well, thank you darling for thinking so", I said, "but I'm actually 25." Alec nodded and looked back at his ring.

"Okay", he mumbled and looked up at me, "you are young too". I smiled and looked down at my hands, trying to get the shorts further down.

"Thank you, darling."

"Why do you call me that?"

"Darling?", I asked, "Why shouldn't I?"

"I… I don't know", he said and took another sip of his coco. "This is really good." It seemed like he always tried to change the conversation, when it was leading to something there might make him feel uncomfortable. I smirked, liking the thought of making him blush, it was so cute.

"So, are you a 17 year old virgin?", I asked, "Alexander?" He almost choked in his coco and used his sleeve to clean his chin.

"Why… why is that important?" He asked and blushed.

"I never said anything about, if it was important", I said, "I just asked, because I'm curious."

"But of course I'm a virgin!", he shouted making a few people look over at us. He crept down his chair and looked over at me. "Why?"

"I think it's cute", I said, "that nobody have ever kissed you or touched you. But at least you must have masterbutated?"

"No… never", he said and let his hand go between his knees and clenched them together. "I… cant do that."

"Why not?"

"Wha…", he looked at me like I was crazy but sighed. "I can't make myself… touch _it._"

"It? As in you're dick?" He blushed even more and took his head in his hands.

"Yeah", he said almost in a laugh, "and…", he looked up at me, "I shouldn't even be talking to you about this." He got up and I couldn't help but get up myself.

"Come on, Alexander", I said and grabbed his shoulder. "I know what you are going through. I was just like you. I have had the parents, the ring, the necklace, the everything." He looked up at me and furrowed his eyebrow.

"Well… than you know that I just can't talk about things like this", he said and was about to go, when I grabbed his wrist.

"I'm sorry", I said but he didn't turn to look at me, "I know I just offended you, and I didn't mean to." He finally let his eyes slowly lock with mine.

"It's fine", he said and turned to look at me. "I overreacted. I… just never talk about things like this." I laughed and he started to smile at me.

"Well…", I said and leaned in closer to him, "I'm a great talker and listener." He blinked and blushed.

"Erm… good for you", he said. I laughed again and took my hand forward. That boy was bad at hints.

"Give me you're phone", I said. Alec slowly let his hand go down his pocket and gave me an old black phone. I started to write my number in and gave him back the phone.

"Take my photo", I said, "for the caller ID, so you wont forget this face." I pointed at myself and smiled. He giggled and took his phone up and I smiled slowly and I heard the click. He looked down at the picture and nodded.

"I don't think I will be able to forget a face like this", he said and took his phone back into his pants.

"Aw, how sweet of you", I said and smiled. His eyes widened.

"I didn't mean it like that", he said fast, "I just mean that, I have never seen a person like you. All glittery and wearing make up."

"A way to ruin my moment", I frowned and took my phone up, "here write you're number." He grabbed it and slowly wrote his number and gave me the phone back. I felt the clingy jewel slam against my hand. There was a small jewel attached to the phone, because I wanted it to sparkle a little, I couldn't get the phone in a purple sparkly colour, so I just had to go with normal purple.

"Smile", I said and took the phone up. He started to giggle and I pressed the button.

"Hey!", he said, "I wasn't ready."

"I like photos like this", I said, "not posing ones." Alec opened his mouth to speak but closed it before just shaking his head at me with a smile.

"I have to go", he said, "I have tons of homework's."

"Oh yeah", I said and pointed at his small bag, "high school, is the greatest." Alec laughed again and walked over to his raincoat.

"Well…", he turned around to look at me, "I will see you around."

"Oh yeah", I said and winked, "remember I'm a good listener and talker." Alec shook his head and made a small smile, before going out of the door, letting the small bell ring and disappear into the rain. I looked down at my phone, seeing his photo. The cute perfect shy smile, and the blue eyes glistening because of his sweet giggle. I sighed, why did he have to be a Christian, and the priest's son? This just made things more difficult. I looked up and looked out at the rain, he were nowhere to be seen, and I wanted to call him all ready, but I would just seem desperate. But I was desperate, I only had 29 days left, and I don't think 29 days is enough.

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**God… the ending was bad at this one – I had another ending in my mind, but it just ended up like this. **

**Soooo, as the review whore I am, I will love at least 5 reviews, because you guys are doing such a great job anyway, and than I will post chapter 5 as soon as it happens, BECAUSE im all ready done with 5 ! Aaand ch. 5 is leading up to something smutty, in the end… sort of ! I don't know **

**Seductive champagne cocktail, with recipe:**

/2011/01/seduction-champagne-cocktail/

**Alec chasity ring, its the thick ring called, "Faith Hope Love" its the third ring: **

store/?wpsc_product_category=purity-rings-purity-rings

**Britanny xx**


	5. Promises are breakable

**Okay so I got the reviews I wanted WUHU ! I actually just wanted 30 reviews in total, but I couldn't remember how many reviews it would take, so I just said 5… sorry if it took awhile, I just wanted to re read the whole thing and maybe make some changes**

**BUT THX FOR THE REVIEWS ! I LOVE THEM xx**

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**5. Promises are breakable**

**The** thunder broke loose as soon as I closed the door behind me. I slipped out of my shoes and started to walk down the hallway. It was empty, and cold. The walls were filled with pictures of Jesus and the church, there was no family pictures, because my father had said that Jesus deservers to be framed, so we can feel his present. Family is always near. My eyes was sliding sowly across the different pictures, and I felt chills go up my arm. I let my hand slide up my arm, trying to get warm, when I heard voices from the living room.

"Is this true", a voice said, "Was this really what you saw, Sebastian?" My eyes widened and I leaned against the wall, trying to look between the door crack. I saw my dad, Sebastian and Mr. Morgernstern. He was sitting next to my dad, with his big black coat, silvery hair and bears. Mr. Morgernstern, Valentine Morgernstern, is Sebastians father, and my fathers second hand, but he could as well be the first, because my father does whatever he tells him to do.

"If this is true", Mr. Morgernstern said, "we will have to talk to youre son." I gasped and took a step back before dumping into someone, who let their hand go over my mouth. I tried to scream, but the hand covered up my screams. I grabbed the persons wrist and tried to let them let go. The person started to drag me backwards, and I couldn't really pull of a fight. My heart was pumping like crazy, and I started to shiver.

"Shhhhh, relax", a familiar voice said, "come with me." I furrowed my eyebrows and tried to look behind me, only to get some black hair into my eyes. I finally pushed the persons hand away and turned around.

"Izzy, what are you doing?" I asked. She took a finger up to her lips, looking almost panicked. She grabbed my wrist and pulled me upstairs.

"We're in trouble", she said and looked down the stairs.

"What?", I said and looked down, "what do you mean by _we_?" She looked back at me and sighed.

"I don't know if it's a _we_", she said and took her hands on her hips. "I just know when Valentine gets over here, it usually means we are screwed." In a few seconds I felt my body relax, but I knew what this was about. Sebastian had told his father, about the party, of course leaving out the fact that it was a drinking party. He had told them, that I almost kissed a man. I took a deep breath and exhaled.

"I think it's me", I said and looked back at Izzy. She furrowed her eyebrows and leaned against the wall.

"What do you mean?"

"Me and Sebastian went to this party last night", I said, "and…" Izzy took a hand up to stop me.

"Ho… Hold on!" She said and smiled bright. "My sweet and innocent older brother snuck out in the middle of the night to go to a party? Whats up with that?"

"Nothing", I mumbled, "I'm just trying things out." _Because I know there is something wrong with me and I want to see if its true._ Im not the biggest party animal, in fact im nothing like that. But recently I have been wanting to do something reckless, trying out things.

"Trying things out?" She repeated and lifted an eyebrow. "What exactly is things?" I took another deep breath. I should be able to talk to my sister about this. About the different things my mind has been thinking about. About my dreams and fantasies. I exhaled.

"I think there is something wrong with me, Izzy", I said and looked down, "I have been having these weird dreams and fantasies. I know it's wrong, and I knows it's against everything we believe in…" I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up, and was greeted with her big brown eyes.

"I don't know about believing", she said, "I have been confused myself, for a long time. I don't know if I believe in any of this anymore, but we have each other, we will get through this." I furrowed my eyebrows and shook my head.

"No, no, Izzy", I said and grabbed her shoulders. "That's not what I'm talking, I'm talking about…" We heard the voices getting closer and we ran down the hall,

"Go to you're room", she said and opened my door, "Dad wont hurt me." I turned around to look at her.

"What makes you think dad will hurt me?"

"Because…", she let her hand up to my cheek and removed a piece of my hair behind my ears, "it's always you". She pushed me into my room and closed the door behind me.

I felt my breath getting stronger and stronger, and my heart beating against my chest. My room was all ready in darkness and when I closed my eyes, it didn't make any difference. The voices got closer and closer and for a minute I heard their steps stopping in front of my door. I opened my eyes and let them slide down to the end of the door, seeing a bit of light. I saw the legs and shoes making shadows, and my heart stopped, I took one last breath and I felt myself fall.

**XxXxX**

"What are you doing?" I opened my eyes and saw a pair of golden eyes look at me. I tilted my head to the side.

"Magnus?"I said and let my hand up to my head. "How did you get in here?"

"Well, Darling", he said and giggled, "I used the door of course." I blinked and tried to get up form the floor, when I felt his hand on my chest. "You should relax."

"On the floor?", I said and let myself fall down again. "It's not like this is very comfortable."

"Just imaging a bed", he said and I felt his hand stroke my forehead. "This is your imagination."

"What are you talking about?"I lifted my body from the ground and looked down at myself. My body was filled with cuts, there were bleeding like crazy. My eyes widened and looked down at my hands, seeing two big burning marks on the palm of my hand.

"No!", I screamed, "this cant be happening! Not again!" I got up on my legs, feeling them shiver below and almost fell over, when Magnus caught me. He stroked my hair, while I held myself up by holding his arm close to my chest.

"Shhhh", he said and kept stroking me. "Imaging a bed. Filled with the softest pillow, the softest duvet and softest madras." I gulped and tried to control my breath and I closed my eyes. I tried to see my own bed. I always went to my bed when I was younger, after my father had beating me. I always went to my bed, under my duvet, holding the pillow against my chest. It was the only place, I could control myself, control my breaths. I would pretend someone was holding me, holding me tight and stroke my hair telling me everything was going to be okay.

"It's going to be okay", he said and stroked my hair lesser. "Everything is going to be okay." I took a deep breath and exhaled, feeling… nothing.

**XxXxX**

I opened my eyes and looked up at my ceiling. I felt someone stroke my hair and I looked to my side seeing Isabelle.

"What happened?" She asked, "you havnt had any panic attacks since you were 13?" I could hear the concern in her voice, and I saw a tear down her cheek. I got up on my elbows and looked over at the door.

"Where's dad?" I asked and looked up at her, "and Valentine?"

"They left", she said and removed her hand away from me, putting them between her knees. "Did you hear what they were talking about?" I looked up at her and got up, hugging my knees.

"Not exactly", I said, "I just… I thought maybe it was me."

"Why would you think that?"

"Jesus, Isabelle, would you stop with all the questions!" I said and got up from bed.

"Okay hold on!", she grabbed my wrist and pushed me hard against the wall. I gasped in surprise smelling the wood and feeling my hand twist. "I know something is up with you! Saying my full name, using Jesus and fainting!"

"Okay!", I said taking a deep breath, "Let me go, and I will answer youre questions." She let me go and turned me around. She crossed her arms and looked straight at me.

"Go on then", she said and shrugged, "what made you think they were talking about you?"

"Sebastian…", I said and bit my bottom lip, "he saw something at the party, involving me…" I looked up at her and kept my eyes closed with hers. Her eyes were sparkling like they always did when she thought she was protecting me or helping me. "He saw me almost kiss… a guy." Her eyebrows furrowed and she just looked at me like I had said something stupid, which I had. I wasn't suppose to say something like this, this was completely stupid and not true. Not true as in I wanted to kiss the guy, though my mind told me it was true. Nothing is true in my life right now. I saw her gulp and she took a hand up to her head, before pushing me aside and open the door and close it behind her.

"Izzy!" I was about to open the door when I felt her keeping the door close.

"I need to do something", she said, "don't think wrong of me, Alexander…", the way she used my full name usual meant trouble, usually meant things weren't going to end up right, only my parents used my full name. "I promise I will be back, and then we can talk! I promise." I felt her let go of the door handle before walking down the hall, letting her footsteps slowly faint away. I turned around letting my body slide down the door until I reached the floor. I grabbed my phone and flipped it open. I saw Magnus picture appear when I reached his name, the sweet smile, a smile I knew would tell me the truth. I rolled my eyes and let my hand fall down on the floor. I gasped for air before letting my finger hit a bottom. Faith would decide if I had hit call or not. I heard a cracking sound and someone frown.

"Mag…. Magnus?", my voice whispered, I knew he couldn't hear me. I coughed and took the phone up against my ear.

"Magnus", I whispered, "I want to talk… I _need _to talk. Meet me at the park? Now?" While the back of mind kept saying promises are breakable.

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**Thanks so much for the reviews once again xx chapter 6, is called: A Taste Of Heaven xx Sooo, yes the next chapter is having what all of you guys have been longing for! And then… we will have to wait a while for that again to happen because of… reasons ! Review ! Review with all of youre power, to make me post this because its all ready written ! Just write something in the big thingy under here, it takes two seconds, and I would love it**

**Xxxxx Happy summer holiday and all xxxxxX **

**Brittany xx **


	6. A Taste Of Heaven

**I wanted to post ch.6 in the weekend, and halleluja its Saturday (: Thank you so much for reviewing, and keep it up, because im writing so freaking fast because of them **

**Thank you so much xx**

**Enjoy**

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**6. A taste of heaven**

**Magnus´POV**

**I** had practically jumped over the counter and ran out of the door like I was the lightning when Alec had called me. He seemed so scared and his voice were shaking, and in a way I shouldn't care, but I had told him he could always talk to me, and I didn't mind listening to his voice and look at him. Especially not when I got a chance like this. I had grabbed my purple leather jacket and ran out in the rain, feeling the raindrops rolling down my cheek, ruining my make up. I stopped by the park and went under a tree, just like Alec had told me. He had told me to meet him at the start of the park, under the big furry tree. And the only furry tree was this one. The rain didn't reach me when I was under here and I clapped my hands together trying to get warm. I looked over the street seeing a person coming over the street and walked straight towards me. It was Alec. He was wearing only his sweater, pants and sneakers, and nothing else. He went under the tree and his teeth were clapping.

"Thank you for meeting me here", he said and looked around, like he was checking he wasn't followed. "I didn't know anyone else to call."

"Well…", I said and clapped my hands, "I didn't think you would call me this fast! But you sounded desperate on the phone." Alec turned to look at me, and his blue eyes looked pale and frightened.

"What I'm about to ask you is completely private", he said and walked closer to me. "Don't tell anyone!"

"I promise", I said and made the scouts honor sign. Alec removed my hand.

"Don't….", his voiced hissed, "promise me anything. Please?" I blinked in confusion, what the hell was wrong with a promise, I wouldn't say I _swear by God not to tell_, if that was what he was hoping for, because that would be a swear I wouldn't mean.

"Fine", I sighed, "I won't promise I will tell anyone." Alec smiled a bit and shook his head.

"Okay", he said in a little more happier voice, "what happened to you, when you told you're parents you were gay?" I blinked at the question and opened my mouth to close it again. When he meant private, he really meant private. I wasn't going to tell him about my life, especially not my previous life.

"You called me remember", I said and leaned against the tree and took up a cigarette pack. "You talk, I listen."

"I thought you were a talker too?"

"You said you were ready to talk", I said and took a cigarette in my mouth. "So that means I'm listening." Alec took his hands down his pocket and looked out on the street.

"Fine", he sighed, "I think my parents are going to do something to me, and I just wanted you're help. I mean, you seem like a person there have been taken care of yourself for a long time, and I just wanted advice."

"Are you planning on running away from home?" I said and finally light up the cigarette, "because my bed is always ready for company. I don't have a guest room, lucky me…" I winked at him and saw him blush, "and my bed is for two people, so you will have to sleep in my bed." Alec blushed deeper and looked down at his shoes.

"That's… not what I meant", he said and sighed, "and I'm not planning on running away. I'm not scared and I don't run away from my problems." I looked over at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Are you suggesting that I did?" I almost felt my voice crack. I wasn't going to fall down on my knees and start to cry, in front of a small kid. A kid I didn't know.

"No!" He said quickly, almost letting me drop my cigarette. "Don't get me wrong. I just can't run away. I have my little brother to take care of."

"But didn't you have a sister?"

"Izzy?" He said almost with a laugh, "she's just as scared of dad as I am. She is strong physically, but not mentally, I can't leave her either."

"Then…", I took a long breath, taking in the smoke and exhaled it. "How about you're other brother?"

"… Jace?", he said in a question. "He was the only one strong enough to do something about the abuse. Once my father was beating me up so madly, that I thought I would die. But Jace, came running in and started to hit my father. After that day, my father hasn't talked to Jace, even though Jace have begged for forgiveness. Though, Jace, didn't mean it… but that's not the point." He shook his head, "Jace is around, but I know he will try to stay out of trouble until I turn 18, because he knows when I turn 18 I'll do my best to leave with them all. He knows if he makes any more trouble, he will be send to a boarding school, and then there will be no escape." I looked over at him and I saw his anger in his eyes, he felt guilty of not protecting them all since he was the older brother. I took my cigarette out and pressed it hard against the tree, seeing the last flame disappear. I leaned away from the tree and let a hand land on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry for everything you have been through, Alexander", I said and he looked up at me, "but… why did you call me?" He let his eyes slide down, and for a second I almost thought he looked at my lips.

"I almost kissed this guy at a party", he said in a strong tone, "Sebastian made me go to a party late at night, and I found this guy, alone in the dark. We talked and he was sweet and heartbroken. And I… I was confused, so we almost kissed. Then Sebastian came, and saw us and he started to scream that he would tell my father and his father. Mr. Morgenstern is crazy. He once burned a cross across his daughter's chest, because she kissed a boy in her bed. Her best friend, Simon. Sebastian promised he wouldn't tell anyone, but I think he did, today. Mr. Morgenstern was there, talking to my father and they were talking about me."

"You… ", I said and pointed at him. "You snuck out for a party and almost kissed a _guy._" I took a hand up to my forehead. This was almost too good to be true, little Jesus boy, was a confused closet homo. He just didn't know it yet, the way he spoke, and it was all a big confusion.

"I don't know", he said, "I wanted to kiss him, but I never got that far. I don't know if I really want to kiss a _guy_…" He sighed and took his head in his hands and shook it. "I don't know anything anymore! I don't know what to do, what I am or what I want. And if it's true what I'm thinking and my father finds out, he'll kill me!" Alec started to panic and took a step back and started to look around.

"Hey Alexander", I said and tried to reach for his hands. "They are not going to kill you. Don't be stupid, they can't kill you and they wont." Alec stopped and just looked at me.

"Maybe they wont", he said and smiled and walked towards me, "if its not true."

"Erm… you lost me", I said with a nervous laugh. "If what is not true?"

"That I don't like boys", he said, "that it's just in my head. That I'm just confused and it was all a misunderstanding." I frowned and took the cigarette package up, again.

"You are really straightforward, huh", I said, "I think you are just curious. You have never been able to experience anything romantic with anyone, and maybe you want some danger, so you are going after boys." I took a cigarette in my mouth, "Its that simple."

"No", he said and shook his head and looked up at me. "I need to know if it's true."

"Of course you do", I said and rolled my eyes trying to light up the cigarette but the wind was to strong. "Go home, and watch some gay porn." Alec frowned and grabbed the lighter out of my hand.

"Hey…!"

"Kiss me", he interrupted and his eyes sparkled. My eyes widened and I spat out the cigarette.

"You don't need to be _that_ straightforward", I said and grabbed my lighter. "I'm not going to kiss you! Are you crazy? What if someone sees you? And then if you kiss me everything will be true."

"Not nesecerally", he said, "Because what if I don't feel anything? Then everything will be a misunderstanding, and I can go home feeling safe." I raised an eyebrow, I didn't want to kiss him and then scare him away, because that would mean I wouldn't get my 500 dollars and I really needed that money. But I really wanted to help him to; I wanted him to be able to go home. Everyone deserved to have a place to come home to, without feeling you were going to be killed.

"I…", I looked down at him again and I saw his big blue eyes stare up at me. I almost saw myself, with the scared look in them. Scared that going home, should be last thing he should do. He should just run away, and I knew he was thinking it, but he knew there was someone at home there needed protection, just like I once thought.

"Its just a kiss", he said, "Just… touch my lips, that's all I ask far."

"Do you really want this to be you're first kiss?", I asked, "like this? And with someone like me?"

"Why not?", he said almost in a nervous laugh. "If the kiss can safe my life, than I guess it would be fine. And I can always pretend it wasn't my first kiss". I frowned; he really knew how to punch you hard in the chest. I walked closer to him, and I saw his eyes looking at mine, following my every step until I was right in front of him. I wanted to ask him again, if he was sure. But I didn't want him to change his mind. I actually wanted to kiss him, but I didn't know if it was because I wanted to help or if I actually just wanted to kiss him. What I really knew was that I might just have kissed those money goodbye.

I let my hand touch his cheek, feeling the coldness from it. He blinked, but didn't take his eyes away from me. I let my hand slide down to his throat feeling his pulse, hammer hard against my fingertips. It was like an electric impulse, making my heart skip a beat. I felt my breath getting harder and without thinking everything through one more time, I leaned in closer on him. Tilting my head to the side, letting our noses just trace each other. I saw his eyes slide down and his breath quickened. I let my tongue slide across my upper lip and I felt his pulse increase against my fingertips. I was going to give this boy a heart attack. I took a step closer, letting our chest touch and I closed the space between us. His lips were smooth and soft, when our lips touched. His body stiffened and he didn't move his lips against mine. It was like kissing a statue, not that I ever had done anything like that.

I let my hand slide behind his neck, pulling him harder against me, hearing him moan. My eyes opened and I saw that his eyes were closed and I couldn't help but smile. His thick dark eyelashes made shadows under his eyes, and his eyelids vibrated when I opened my mouth against his. I closed my eyes again, wanting more so I opened my mouth more, trying to make his lips part. He slowly let out a small gasp, before taking in my lips, opening his mouth, making me consume his taste. He tasted like heaven and strawberry whip cream. I hugged him closer against me, and I felt him stumble harder against my chest, letting his hands land on my hips for support. I opened my mouth again and sucked on his bottom lips, letting it go between my teeth, biting down. He moaned again and his fingers grabbed the fabric of my shirt. I let my hand slide up to his cheek and caressed his skin, feeling every muscle working to keep up with the kiss. I opened my mouth one last time; it would be the last thing for the experiment. I let my tongue enter his mouth, and I felt his grip tightened and he moaned louder when my tongue touched his. He grabbed my hipbone and pushed me away and took his hands up to his mouth. I gasped for air and took a hand through my hair.

"Okay", I said, trough my hard breathing. "Wow, that went out of hand". Alec's eyes widened and he shook his head. The way he was backing away, I knew it had been too much. He shook his head one last time, and took his hands away form his mouth. It looked like he was about to say something, but he just turned around on his heals and ran of. I took one step forward and I didn't even got to say anything before he was running over the street and disappeared. I took a finger up to my lips, and traced them, still feeling some of the wetness from his lips. It wasn't the best kiss. It was sloppy and wet, and he was still all over me. I licked my bottom lips, still tasting the strawberry whip cream and his own special taste. I didn't know how to describe it other than it was, a taste of heaven.

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**Yay Malec kiss, and you guys deserved it ! xx The kiss was difficult… I don't know why, so I hope it was okay ? And of course, we will know what Alec´s conclusion is from the kissing**

**So review, and it would soooo awesome if I could get to pass 60 reviews ! Because this is ch.6 and all xx haha**

– **Brittany xx**


	7. Keeping an eye on you

**So I actually posted this chapter yesterday or was it the day before yesterday? Hmm, well I just got a beta-reader just when I posted the chapter so had to delete again, my bad…**

**Credits to my beta-reader for being so awesome to read this one through and help to make it better, totally v.i.p xx**

**Enjoy **

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**7. Keeping an eye on you**

**The** bed had been my safety net until the next morning. And it still was. After I had come home from the park I ran up to my room, closed my door and jumped under my duvet. I still felt his lips against mine, when I had covered myself up. They were still covering up mine, making it impossible for me to say anything or breathe. They had been hard and gentle and had tasted like cinnamon and mint. And mine still did. I closed my eyes and let my tongue caress my lips. They were still bruised from the kissing and the touch from my tongue made my body shiver. I opened my eyes and looked up at the sunlight making its way into my room. Fortunately it was Sunday and I had pretended to be sick, and my father had believed me. He always says that not going to church on a Sunday would be false Christianity. Which scared me. He would never let me stay home on a Sunday. Sunday was the day we all went to church, to preach, sing and celebrate Jesus raising from the dead. I got up from my bed and leaned my back against the wall. I looked down at my small nightstand, grabbing my cell phone. There had been no missed calls or text messages, but what had I expected? I had just run of, leaving him there under the tree in the rain. I frowned, it sounded like a horrible romantic movie. And this was far away form being romantic… or a movie. I got up from my bed and walked over to my desk, pulled out my chair, and let myself fall down. I opened my laptop and tried to get my biology assignment done.

I had tried to make it in hand, because my father doesn't believe in technology, but somehow he had changed his mind and gave me a computer… yesterday. I had gotten home and I´ve seen it on my desk with a note saying, "Be diligent and hard-working. Do not be Lazy". My father always quotes from the bible. At the beginning it was fine and I didn't mind learning from the bible, but I missed some fatherly advice. Something my father would quote from himself, though I doubt I would believe it.

The laptop opened and showed me a picture of the white dove as a background picture. I opened up for Word and started to type. The biology assignment was about the human body, and we had to describe every single body part down to detail. My cell phone started to blink and I looked down seeing my sister calling me. I knew they were on their way home now. I pressed the red button. Was she calling to warn me that they were coming for me, my father and Mr. Morgenstern? I looked down at my cell phone again and saw Magnus picture on the screen. It was like he was stalking me, first in my thoughts and now on my cell phone. I looked back at my computer and bit my bottom lip. I opened Google and sighed. I can't believe what I'm about to do. I typed in the words "gay porn" and opened up the first link. At first I was surprised that I actually could enter it. I thought maybe my dad would had made sure none of us would be able to enter something like this. But why would we search for this in the first place?

The website was filled with naked pictures of men and there were videos, showing a picture of what the video might contain. I couldn't believe I had searched for this and now I was sitting here getting all shiverish and flustered. I slowly let the white arrow stop by a short video and pressed play. It was just two boys and they started to make out, touch each other and suddenly the other boy entered the other one, making the boy cry out in ecstasy. I moved a little on the chair trying to get more comfortable. My eyes went wide and I couldn't believe that they were having sex on the Internet. They were moaning and seemed breathless. I had no idea that this was how gay people have sex; it seemed so difficult and painful. I parted my lips trying to catch a breath, but nothing came out. I let my hand slide down my stomach, to my belt and I tried to unbuckle it but my hands were shaking.

"Alec!", someone screamed and knocked hard at thee door. I gasped and my hand flew up to shut down my laptop.

"Wh… Who is it?", I answered while getting up and running to my bed.

"Its Izzy", she said. "Can I come in? Or are you naked?" I rolled my eyes and crawled to the back of my bed and leaned against the wall.

"You can come in", I said and crossed my arms. She opened the door with a smile.

"Hello my _sick_ brother", she said and took out the bun in her hair, letting it fall down. She was wearing a dark blue dress with black pantyhose. "Feeling better?" She walked over to my bed and sat down on the edge and, leaned towards me letting her hand fall on my head.

"Hmm… you are a little warm", she said and looked harder at me, "and you look all flustered… and nervous". I blinked when she got up from the bed. She crossed her arms again.

"Is there a boy in here?" she asked and, got down on her fours and looked under my bed. "Not there." She walked over to my bathroom and opened the door, "not there". She looked over at me and raised an eyebrow. "I know", she said with a proud smile, "the perfect place would be…" She took a few steps and opened two doors. "Your closet!" She frowned when she saw nothing but my clothes.

"No one is here", I said and looked down at my belt. "I'm alone". I started to fix it, seeing that it looked like someone had been trying to open it.

"So…" she said and, got back to my bed and sat down. "No boys?"

"No boys."

"So what you told me yesterday", she said and tilted her head, "that wasn't true?"

"I…" I said and thought of Magnus kissing me, how heated it all got, feeling his heartbeat against my chest. It was like it all made sense and like it was meant to be like this. My heart was completely out of control; my every nerve was out of control. I never knew I could feel something like this. And just now… the porn. I wanted to touch myself and I got all flustered and I couldn't control anything. Just like it was with Magnus. "I think its true"

"You _think_?", she asked almost with a hiss. "You need to _know_ things like this!"

"I… ", I said and let my hand fall down on my thighs, "I know then". Izzy sighed and nodded,

"I'm proud of you brother", she said and smiled, "I have always known". I furrowed my eyebrows and snorted.

"How so?"

"Well, since mom wasn't keeping an eye on you", she said, "I had to. And I must say you were very interesting. Flipping out about spiders. Crying when you broke a nail. Kissing this boy in the kindergarten."

"Are you kidding me?", I said and felt myself blush a little. "I was like 8 or something, when those things happened. How would you think that I was gay?"

"As we grew older you never dated and you were never interested in any of those girls father or mother found for you", she said. "And every time Jace talked about girls you seemed so distant and just starred blankly at him, nodding like a robot." I blinked feeling a little uncomfortable about this conversation.

"You should stop keeping an eye on me", I said and tightened my grip on my jeans. "Its creepy."

"I love you Alec", she said and grabbed my hand, "I'm you're sister. Of course I'm obliged to keep an eye on you and no matter who you become or who you love I will always love you." I smiled and looked up at her, seeing her smiling face at me. She looked different without her mascara and slightly red lips. My father always made sure she was completely clean before going to church and she would always scream, but do it, knowing what would come to her.

"But…", I said, "yesterday when I told you about that guy, you said you were going to do something. What was that?"

"I did what I did to protect you", she said and leaned away form me like she knew what she had done was wrong. "When you told me Sebastian had seen it and Valentine had come over and you thought it was you they were talking about I freaked out! I went over to his house and threatened to tell everybody that he had a crush on his sister and that he ones had tried to touch her." My eyes grew wide and I leaned away from the wall.

"You did what?", I asked. "And… are you serious? Is that true? About Clary?"

"Unfortunately, yes", she said and took a hand through her hair. "She told me."

"Since when are you and Clary Fray good friends?"

"Since I slept with Simon", she said and smiled, "remember?"

"I remember you sleeping with Simon", I said, "not getting all friendly with Clary"

"Well she is a sweet girl. I never understood why you hated her so bad."

"Because she had a crush on Jace", I mumbled. Izzy raised an eyebrow, and she leaned over.

"What did you say?"

"I thought once I had a crush on Jace. It happened after he saved me from dad. I wanted to be near him and I wanted him to be all mine", I said feeling almost disgusted. "Clary told me she had a crush on Jace and wanted me to hook them up in private. I never did. But then Jace told me he had a crush on Clary and I got so angry. I went to her house and confronted her, telling her to leave Jace alone and that she couldn't take him away from me and she looked so hurt and scared and then she just slapped me and closed the door and we never spoke again. We still haven't. It was stupid! And I'm not in love with Jace because when I grew older I knew it was because I felt safe with him. He was my protector". Izzy shut her eyes and clenched them together before opening them again.

"Holy…", she said and stopped herself. "I never knew that happened. I just knew that Clary had once kissed Simon, just for comfort, but she never told me why. So… is that why Jace has never made a move on Clary? Because he didn't know if she liked him?"

"You know Jace has made every move he could to get her", I said, "He couldn´t do anything, because Clary did what ever she could to avoid him and in the end he just gave up". She grabbed my shoulders and shook me so hard that my back went hard against the wall.

"Alexander Lightwood! What have you done! Ruining such a great romance and you still haven't told them?", she said and stopped. "How many years have it been?"

"4 years…" She started to shake me again.

"You have to talk to Jace!", she said "He is the one in pain here. He needs someone like Clary!"

"You want me to tell him I had a crush on him and ruined his opportunity for great love?"

"You better do so", she said and let me go, "or I will come after you". I fixed my shirt.

"I'll do my best." I frowned and looked back at her. "So you and Simon? What are you? Are you official?"

"You know we can't", she said. "I will keep it a secret, though it sucks. But it's kind of cool. An adrenalin rush. I just wish I could tell dad, without getting slapped. I have to wait 2 years before telling. It sucks".

"A secret relationship", I said and rolled my eyes. "I hope you will be able to be with him in the end."

"And I hope you will be with who ever you snuck out to meet last night?"

"Izzy! Seriously, you have to stop stalking me!"

"Tell me!", she shrieked and jumped on the bed.

"He is nobody", I said and sighed, "and I just meet him at a diner when me and Sebastian were out doing charity work. And yesterday I asked him to meet me, because I was curious. I asked him to kiss me, because I wanted to know if I really would like it. So we kissed"

"Did you like it?"

"I guess", I shrugged feeling my cheeks blush. I looked up at Izzy, seeing her raise an eyebrow. "Fine. I really liked it. It was a great first kiss and he was really good. But I doubt he will talk to me again since I left him, alone, in the rain."

"Well, he came meeting you in the rain. And you are just a stranger to him", she said. "I think he likes you."

"You think?", I asked feeling my cheeks flaming up.

"Yeah", she laughed and touched my hand again. "You should meet him again"

"I cant… not now", I said, "I have some things I need to fix, before I think of myself". Izzy smiled and rolled of my bed.

"And that is why I love you", she said and opened the door only to get greeted by my father, holding a cane in his hand. He looked angry and I knew that he had heard everything and maybe Izzy's threat hadn't been enough.

"Alexander", he said taking his eyes away from Izzy and looked at me. "We need to talk".

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**Pft bad cliffhanger haha well, I hope I got you guys spooked (: I will try to update every week, but there isn't a specific day I will chose, just once a week, and maybe twice due to weekend if I have the time xx **

**Thank you so much for review, keep up the good work xx Love ya (L)**

**- Brittany **


	8. Keeping a distance

**Yeah I know you want to know whats happening to Alec ! I have actually written chapter 9, I just need to change it. Change everything! Its just notes, and trust me… its not very pleasant. **

**I´m going back to a few chapters to change a few mistakes, like the whole big bro and sis, because Jace and Izzy is little bro and sis ;) **

**Thx for reviewing xx**

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**8. Keeping a distance**

**Magnus´POV**

**After** the kissing scene I had walked home to Camille. I was all alone in the rain and still felt his lips against mine. It was obvious he had no idea what he was doing and he was so slow with his movements I sometimes forgot that we were actually kissing. I should never have deepened the kiss so much or I should just have kept my tongue out of the way. The way he had pushed me away when my tongue had entered. He looked completely surprised, like he had never tried anything like it. But then again he had never been kissed until that moment; maybe he just didn't know how many ways of kissing there were. And I would love to show him all the kissing ways and all the different things I could do to him. I wanted to touch his silky raven hair and just get lost in those deep blue eyes and just let him consume me in a way I never thought was possible.

I sighed and felt a hand stroke my hair.

"Thinking of him again", a voice said, "are we?" I opened my eyes and looked up at a pair of grass green eyes and the blond curls were held back in a tight ponytail.

After I had entered Camille's apartment I have let my head rest on her lap and tried to tell her everything without sounding to disappointed. Camille had always been good at the whole comforting thing and she always knows how to make me feel better. She stroked my hair just like my mother did when I had been upset and her voice was calm but firm.

"I can't stop thinking about it", I said and played with the string from the hot pants I had borrowed from her, "I mean, he didn't had to run away. He could at least have told me if the kiss had helped."

"Maybe he just got scared", she said and twirled some of my hair around her finger. "You told me it went a little out of hand, and that it was supposed to be just one small kiss. You kissed him like you would have kissed Woolsey and then you tried to French kiss the poor Jesus." I furrowed my eyebrows and slapped her hand away from my hair and got up to look at her.

"What would you have done?" I asked and looked at her smirk, "if you were making out with a innocent and Christian boy? In the rain and under the tree and he asked you to kiss him so he could figure out the whole gay thing!" Camille laughed and leaned back against the couch, letting her elbows rest on the back.

"I don't know", she said and smirked. "I would have kissed him crazy and done whatever I could to hold him back."

"Hold him back?"

"Yeah", she said and rolled her eyes, "like I would let such a boy run away from me. I would have kissed him so bad…" She started to lean forward and crawled like a cat towards me. "That he would forget his own name and then…" She licked her upper lip and let her hands slide to my inner thighs, "I would give him so much pleasure that he would moan, _Oh God!_" She started to moan and close her eyes. "_Yes God, right there! Touch me! Right there. Oh God, I'm so close! Don't Stoooo…- _" Her breath started to quickened and she slowly let her head fall down on my thigh, _"- ooooop._" She gasped and bit her bottom lip. I had looked at her the entire time and I almost felt completely turned on, if it hadn't been Camille. Of course she was beautiful and every single man wanted to be with her, but she was still Camille. Just Camille to me. She started to giggle and looked up at me.

"Got my point?" I frowned and looked away.

"Yeah I got your point all right", I said and couldn't help but smile. "But he would never let me do such a thing. He freaked out by the touch of my tongue in his mouth. What do you think would happen if my tongue got further down? He would die of a heart attack." Camille got up and looked at me,

"How do you plan on getting his cross then?" she asked and touched my collarbone. "You can't do it otherwise."

"I'm getting that cross", I said, "and those money and I will laugh so hard in your face. Ha!" Camille snorted and got up from the couch.

"How mature of you", she said and started to walk but made a twirl. "But just a question: How do you plan to see him again? He ran away from you after the kiss. Do you really thing he will see you again?"

"Of course", I said and shrugged, maybe because I was not so sure. "My kisses can be very memorable"

"Only because it feels like you are drowning", she said. "Maybe that's why he ran away. He didn't want an ocean of your saliva."

"Hey! If you're talking about that time when I was 17 and I was with you, that was only because you were making my mouth dry", I said. "I had to do something."

"I need to get out of here. Arguing with my friend about the time we were together", she said. "Hey, let's go out tomorrow! And you can stay here and sleep as long as you want and then party tomorrow?"

"I don't think so", I said and let myself fall down on the couch. "I need some time alone"

"Poor little Magnus", Camille said and made small baby sounds, "being depressed about a pretty little Jesus boy!" I grabbed a pillow and threw it at her and she ran away laughing into the kitchen. I sighed and let myself get comfortable before closing my eyes.

**XxXxX**

There were flowers around me and they were all smashed. I couldn't remember what had happened. I was just standing there completely dirty. A woman came out and screamed and ran towards me.

"Magnus!" she shrieked and touched a dead rose, "What did you do? Why did you do this?" I blinked like I was finally waking up.

"I'm sorry mommy", I said and felt a tear run down my cheek. "I… I don't know what happened." She looked down at me and I saw the sadness in her eyes.

"What is happening to you?" she said and touched my forehead. "You still have blackouts." I looked down at the flowers one more time and saw how they had been pulled out of the dirt and it all looked really aggressively and I had no idea why I would destroy my mothers flower bed. I loved her flowerbed; it was the only thing colorful around this house. I was about to say something when a tall man came running towards us.

"What's happening, why are yo- " He stopped when he looked down at the flowers and his eyes slowly looked up at me, "Magnus, what have you done!" His voice was deep and it came out like a hiss sound from his teeth. He walked towards me and grabbed my elbow hard.

"Why would you destroy your mothers flowers?" he hissed and shook me hard. "Why?"

"Sweety…" my mom said in a calm voice, "let him be. He is only 13 years old. He might be in that age where he..."

"No!" he snapped back and started to drag me into the house. "I'm taking him to the church!"

I had begged and begged my father not to take me to the church, but in the end we ended up standing in front of it. It was huge and dark. The brown color was fading away and the building was tall, it almost reached the sky. He opened the door and pushed me inside. The church was long and filled with benches going down to an altar were the holy water bowl were and a small praying table was set, just underneath a huge golden cross with Jesus in the middle. They were renovating the church, but it wasn't done yet. Everything looked like a mess.

A priest came towards us. His hair was grey and his eyes looked like shadows. His skin was wrinkly, but his hands were big and strong and they were holding a small chain with a cross in the end.

"I'm sorry for the mess", he said and smiled and looked down at me. "Are you here to help out, son?" I shook my head and went behind my dad, and held a tight grip around his wrist,

"Magnus," my father sighed and turned around to look at me, "you are going to help out cleaning the church and your mom will come pick you up." He let his hand go behind my back and pushed me forward. I stumble towards the priest and looked up at his smiling face.

"Daddy", I said and turned around, "don't leave me. Please don't leave me alone with him." My father rolled his eyes and let his hand touch my hair, messing it around.

"He won't hurt you", he said and smiled towards the priest. "I don't know what's wrong with him. He's never like this." The priest nodded like he understood.

"Boys…" he said and grabbed my hand, making me gasp in surprise, "they are not very readable, when they are in that age." I looked down at our hands and tried to get out of his grip.

"Please dad", I said and tried to get to him, but the priest pulled me away, "Just take me home. I'm really sorry, I won't do it again."

"I think a day here at the church will be forgiveness enough", he said and looked down at me, "so do good." He turned around and started to walk. I opened my mouth, but closed it again. He was leaving me and he had turned his back without hesitation. He never did anything for me and he would always let me down. And now he was doing a great mistake. When the door closed behind him the sound made an echo in the church and I couldn't help but gulp. I let my gaze slowly go to the priest, but I couldn't let myself look up at him.

"What do you want me to do?" I felt a hand on my cheek and he caressed the skin slowly,

"I want you to clean the floor here", he said and pointed down, "and when you reach the end you can go." He let my hand go and I let my hand go up to chest. And I felt my heartbeat hammering hard against my chest. He came back with a bucket with water and a big yellow sponge. He planted in front of me and turned around and walked away. When I exhaled I hadn't realized I had held my breath, but I felt a sudden relief when he had walked away.

I had been scrubbing and scrubbing. My knees were getting numb and they had got a few scratches. I sighed and let the sponge go down into the bucket and let it land hard against the floor, letting water splash around me. I really just wanted to go home and I hadn't done such a good job with the cleaning, because after just an hour I was only 10 minutes away from the end. I heard the priest walking behind me and the steps stopped. I couldn't help but stop my scrubbing and I leaned up a bit. I felt his eyes starring at me. They were like a million needles piercing through my skin making me shiver. I bend down again and tried to clean the rest of the floor and hoped that he would just walk away. The room echoed as he walked closer to me and my movements started to slow down. When his footsteps stopped, I started to get up from the floor and felt my knees going away under me. They were red and had small scratches around them. I looked up at him and his eyes looked straight into mine. They were taking me in and there was nothing I could do. I just stood there frozen, still holding the sponge in my hand with a tight grip. His hand went up to my cheek and removed some of my sweaty hair behind my ear.

"I really enjoyed our last encounter", he said and his movements slowed down. He let his finger slide down my ear and took my earlobe between his fingers; I couldn't help but shiver by the touch. "How about you?" I slowly shook my head and squeezed the sponge harder, feeling the soap and water between my fingers.

"Lying is a sin, son", he said and let his hand slide down to my throat. I looked up at him trying to stay calm. He wasn't going to kill me, because he couldn't kill me. He was a priest and we were in a church. He wasn't going to kill me. "I know you enjoyed it very much."

"No", my voice came out as a whisper, "please let me go." The priest laughed and let his hand land on my shoulder.

"I'm going to help you", he said, "help you get away with those disgusting thoughts you have." I furrowed my eyebrows and shook my head.

"What do y…" his finger went up to my lips to shut me up.

"You father told me about the magazines he found", he said. "All those naked men and how he knew there was something wrong with you. You are not here because you destroyed your mother's flowerbed; you are here because you need cleaning. And our last encounter was just a test." I gasped and took a step back,

"No… no those magazines aren't mine", I said. "I don't know what you are talking about." His eyes narrowed and he took a step towards me.

"Stop lying, son", he said. "It's a sin. And you are nothing but a sin which needs cleaning." He grabbed my wrist and pulled me over to the half finished alter. He threw me on the floor. I flew down and landed hard, feeling the stone floor crack my every bone. I gasped and tried to get up when he grabbed my shirt and pulled me up.

"Drink", he said and had a small glass bottle in his hand, "It's holy water." He grabbed my chin and tried to open my mouth. I shook my head and small moans came out.

"No", I said trying to push his hand away. His grip tightened and my mouth automatically opened. He took the bottle to my mouth and poured the water down with such force, I felt like I was drowning.

"No!" I yelled between all the water, "Stop!" I pushed the bottle out of his hand and it flew down on the floor and smashed.

"No!" the priest screamed and turned me around. "What did you do? Devil!" His hand went up in the air and slapped me hard against the cheek. I cried out and touched my burning cheek and started to crawl backwards.

"I was just trying to help you", he said and walked towards me. "Now… you give me no choice." He started to unbutton his black shirt and pulled out his clerical collar. My eyes widened.

"No!" I yelled. "Leave me alone!" I turned around and grabbed a piece of glass that was lying on the floor. And just as the priest leaned down to get me and I slashed the glass across his chin. He screamed and backed away, his hand on his cheek. The blood was pouring out and slid down between his fingers. Making it look like tears of blood. I got up on my feet and started to run, but the only way out was pass him. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me back.

"Look what you did to me! Devil!" he screamed and pulled me over to the table and threw me over. My stomach hit the table and I lost my breath and started to cough. I felt his hands on my hips and he started to unzip my pants.

"No you can't do this!" I cried out, feeling the tears running down my cheeks. I tried to turn around but he kept pushing me back, grabbed one of my wrists and twisted it behind my back. I cried out again, feeling my arm getting twisted more and more when I tried to push him away.

"I will clean you!" he said and felt my pants slide down to my ankles. "I will make the devil inside you disappear!" I shook my head and gasped when I tried to say something,

"Nooooo", my voice started to crack and I could hardly breath. My heart was pumping hard against my chest and my body was shaking. My whole body was out of control. "Help me! Somebody help me! Mommy!" The priest covered my mouth with his hand, making the rest come out in moans.

"Nobody is coming to save you", he whispered when he leaned towards me. "Who would want to save the devil? You are disgusting!" I whimpered and tried to hold back my tears, but they were pouring out and there was nothing I could do about it. I felt his hand slide down to my legs and separated them a bit. They were cold and I couldn't help but shiver as his fingers kept sliding up and down my inner thigh. I felt him position himself behind me.

"It won't hurt if you keep calm and relax", he said. "But as I can tell you are a fierce one so it will hurt. And maybe pain is the only thing that can save you." I shook my head and started to scream against his hand. He removed his hand from my mouth and he grabbed my shoulder pushing me closer against him.

"Mom…" I whispered and I couldn't get myself to move. My whole body was shivering and it made it numb. "Mom!" I screamed. The door opened and a strong wind came into the church making me turn my head. There she stood, my mom, surrounded by rain and moonlight making her look like an angel. She started to run and pushed the priest off of me. She grabbed my shoulder and turned me around. Her hands went to my face and she started to caress my cheeks.

"Did he hurt you?" she hissed. "Did he get the chance to…" her voice cracked and she just pulled me into a hug. She stroked my hair slowly and kissed my cheek. Her lips were wet and warm and I couldn't help but gasp at the touch. It was almost like I hadn't realized she was really here until that moment. She leaned away and looked at me, her golden eyes were starring at me and I knew she was waiting for an answer. I shook my head and looked away. I couldn't get myself to look at her, it was too painful and I felt disgusted. I didn't deserve her touch, she shouldn't touch me. She started to take up my pants and zipped them for me and grabbed my wrist. The way she was holding it was gentle and she caressed my skin, making sure I was okay, but all I wanted was to pull my hand away from her. She turned to the priest and looked down at him.

"If I ever see you in here again, priest", she snapped making him winch, "I will make sure that all hell will break loose. I will send the devil after you, to torture you and rape you're sorry ass!" She pulled me after her, making sure I wasn't able to look back at him. And she closed the door behind her with a huge smack. I looked up at her as we walked in the night. Her black hair was flying around and I heard her sob. I tightened my grip on her hand and as soon as I did that she turned around and felt down on her knees and hugged me. She held me were the priest had touched me, but instead of cold I felt warm. Her tears were falling down my neck, sliding down my collarbone. I let my hands go around her neck, trying to comfort her and trying to make her feel safe. I wanted her to be safe, but I also just wanted to get away. I couldn't go home, not after this. I couldn't face my father and if my father ever knew what had happened he would kill me.

**XxXxX**

As I opened my eyes, I gasped. It was just a dream. I leaned up from the couch with my hand on my head and tried to sit up straight. I let my hand slide through my hair. My forehead was completely sweaty. Why would I dream about something from my past? And why was it just this memory?

"Camille!" I yelled and she came out of the kitchen with a cereal bowl and milk dripping down her chin. "Let's go party tomorrow."

"Seriously?" She said with her mouth full. "Why?"

"I need to get away from the whole Christian thing", I said. "I need my life back." Camille jumped a bit and went back to the kitchen. I sighed and felt my head hammering hard. I should try to forget Alec for a while or maybe just keep a distance. There was no way I was going to keep seeing him if I started to have these dreams. I just wasn't so sure that I will be able to keep a distance because I didn't have time for distance and I did so not have the time to sit at home sulking and acting like a teenage girl whose boyfriend hasn't texted her back about what he was doing. But those blue eyes kept whirling in front of me and looking at me, all innocent and sweet. I grabbed a pillow and pushed it against my face and started to scream. Stupid, beautiful, pretty and blue eye wonder boy.

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**Hopefully Alec´s chapter will be up this weekend or Monday, all depends on me and my AWESOME beta-reader, but mostly YOU ! Review and I will work VERY FAST, making those notes into an awesome chapter!**

**Xxxxxxx**

**- Brittany **


	9. Defenseless

**So this is a long chapter ! **

**And we actually get to know who the priest were, the one there sexual assaulted Magnus... **

**Well, now its time to know what´s going to happen to Alec **

**I cant even make myself to write enjoy**

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**9.**** Defenseless **

**My** dad had told Izzy to follow as well. She had taken my hand, and tightened her grip the closer we got to his office. He knew everything and he had heard everything. He hadn't said a single word to us. He walked in front of us holding the cane in a tight grip. He seemed more uptight than usual and he sighed as we reached the door.

"Alec you go first", he said and opened the door. I turned to look at Izzy, who looked dizzy like she didn't understand what was going on or maybe she just wanted to pretend everything was going to be okay.

"Don't worry", I said and smiled, "everything is going to be okay." She nodded and gave me a small smile before letting herself fall into a chair. I turned to look at my dad. He looked at me briefly before he looked away, gesturing with his arm for me to enter.

He knows.

The room was cold as it always was. The window was open and a small breeze entered the side of the room was a bookshelf build inside the wall. The room was mostly empty, which made it even scarier to be in. In the middle of the room was a desk with a chair and two other chairs in front of it. Usually my dad uses his office for meetings or other special occasions. The desk had a huge pile of papers and sharpened pens placed next to each other. He walked behind the desk and sat down folding his hand on the table. I was about to close the door when someone else closed it. My eyes widened when I saw the familiar grey hair, beard and long black coat. Valentine Morgenstern. He had closed the door with one hand and smirked when he saw me take a step backwards.

"How are you Alexander?" he asked with a smile. Behind him were two big black hooded men. I couldn't see their faces, but I knew they were men, seeing their big muscular bodies and broad shoulders.

"What are you doing here?" I asked trying not to make my voice shake, but instead my whole body started to. Valentine looked back at my dad.

"Robert how are you?" he asked ignoring me completely.

"I've been better", he said in a hoarse voice. Valentine took a few steps forward and stopped in front of me. His eyes were narrowed and grey, like a big fog and I couldn't see any emotions in them. My whole body started to shiver and I had to sigh to calm myself down.

"What are you looking at?" I asked and kept my eyes locked with his, trying not to look scared.

"I don't know", he said and grabbed my collar and fixed it. "Who are you?"

"Wha… What do you mean?" I asked and looked back at my dad. "What is he talking about?"

"My son, Sebastian," Valentine said making me turn around to look at him, "told us an interesting story yesterday. About this party you had forced him to go to and he then later on saw you almost kissing this boy." My eyes grew wider, so Sebastian had been talking about me.

"I didn't force him to anything, he forced me!" I said and blinked when I realized my voice had screamed a bit, "I… I don't know what you are talking about."

"Later he, suddenly, changed his statement", he said and tilted his head to the side, "saying that he hadn't seen you. But you see I can tell when my son is lying, so I had to give him a lesson on what happens to a liar." Valentine grabbed a small black bag from his back pocket and took a small black object up. It had two ends, one sharp end and the other end had a small cross.

"What did you do to him?"

"That doesn't matter", he said and gave the object to one of the men, who grabbed it and lighted it up with another object, creating a big glowing flame. It was to big and warm to be a lighter, but I saw him warming op the cross, letting it stay over the flame. The cross was starting to glow and it became orange. I took as many steps back I could until I reached my dad's desk.

"I'm here because your son is a liar?" I ask stupidly. Valentine walked towards me, and the men behind him walked with him.

"No", he said and smiled, "we are here to hear your side of the story." I turned around to look at my dad.

"I didn't force Sebastian to go to the party or lie to Mr. Morgenstern", I said and grabbed the desk. "You have to believe me." My dad got up from his chair and walked around the desk and stopped next to me.

"I believe the first part", he said, "but what about that boy? The boy you tried to kiss and the boy you actually kissed?" I blinked and let go of the desk.

"I'm sorry dad", I said and tried to reach for him when he took a step back. He crossed his arms and sighed.

"Did you kiss this boy?"

"Not the one at the party", I said and looked down, "but I kissed another one. By the park."

"So I've heard", he said, his voice dark and hard. "Do you know what this means?"

"It doesn't mean anything!" I yelled and made a small nervous laugh, "I… I didn't mean to kiss him. It just happened."

"Don't lie to me!" he yelled making me take a step back. "I heard you. Talking to your sister. Telling her you asked him to kiss you and he did and that you liked it." I could hear the disgust in his voice when he said the last part. He let a hand go through his black hair before letting it fall down on the desk. "Did you really like kissing that boy?" I gulped and opened my mouth, but nothing came out. It was like someone had taken out my tongue and made the words only come out in a murmur. My dad sighed and shook his head.

"Who are you?"

"Why do you keep saying that?" I asked in a high voice. "I don't understand what you are saying!"

"Who are you?" He yelled and walked fast towards me and grabbed my collar. "Who are you?" His voice was high and it was still clinging inside my ear. I closed my eyes and shook my head.

"I'm your son", I said and looked up at him, "Alexander Lightwood." My father let me go and slapped me right across the cheek making me gasp. I blinked, feeling tears running down my burning cheek making me gasp once again. I took my hand up to my cheek and looked up at him.

"You're no son of mine", he spat. "My son wouldn't go around kissing other men and liking it. My son wouldn't play around with the devil!"

"The devil?" I asked and furrowed my eyes looking over at Valentine. "What are you doing here? What did you tell my dad? Why do you have to go around playing God?" I knew that Valentine had something to do with my dad's opinion. My dad never used the word devil, no matter what. He was too proud to do that. Valentine had manipulated his mind and he was way too good at it.

"You're father needs my help", he said and walked towards me letting his hand touch my shoulder. "You're his son and he needs to know how to deal with this problem." I looked down at his hand seeing his wrinkled finger digging down my shirt and his golden ring shimmered from the small amount of sunlight there was reaching into the room.

"What problem?" I asked and shook his hand of my shoulder. "There isn't a problem."

"But there is", Valentine said, "We can't have you walking around kissing boys. You are a Christian and a Lightwood. Everyone knows who your father is and do you know what will happen if everyone found out that you were a homosexual?"

"Who says I am gay?"

"You liked kissing that boy."

"That doesn't make me gay", I said, knowing that of course it wasn't true. Valentine smirked and shook his head.

"Don't play stupid around me, Alexander", he said and looked over at his men. "It won't make this situation any better." I let my gaze follow Valentines and saw the man with the cross. The cross was burning more than before, glowing more orange and had smoke flying up like ocean waves. The man gave the object to Valentine. He held it by the point and blew slightly to the small cross before turning his attention to me.

"I will give you one last chance, with just one simple question", Valentine said and made sure I saw the cross glowing in front of me. "Do you like that boy?" I blinked at the question and snorted.

"I barely know the guy", I said. "I don't know if I like him or not… in that way."

"Do you want to see him again?" I was about to shake my head when I realized that I did want to see him again. I wanted to talk to him about the kiss and maybe just talk because he is different to talk to. I really like this guy. My eyes widened at the thought and I looked down at my shoes.

"I won't see him again", I lied feeling a slight blush across my cheek. I was embarrassed about the thought of him. What's wrong with me? I rolled my eyes and then I felt someone's hand under my chin lifting my head up.

"Are you lying to me, Alexander?" I hated it when he said my full name - it was like he pretended to care for me.

"Just please forget about it", I said and feeling my voice shake. "It won't happen again."

"You must really stop lying to me, Alexander -"

"Stop calling me that!" I yelled seeing the two men moving towards me.

"- It's not doing you any good", Valentine finished."You must stop these feelings you have towards this boy or any boys for the matter. You are a disgrace to your family, but I'm here to help you." He nodded with his head towards the men and they both grabbed my arms and pushed me down on the desk. I felt one of the pens dig into my back and I couldn't help but whimper in pain. "I will make those feelings disappear, even if it will be by using pain." My eyes widened and I looked up at my dad.

"Dad!" I yelled but he didn't look at me, he just kept his eyes down on the ground, "why won't you look at me?"

"Because you make me sick", he said to the floor, "What happened to you? Why would you do something like this to us? Don't you love us?" I opened my mouth to reply, but I couldn't say anything. The fact that he was questioning my love made my heart stop.

"Let me go!" I yelled and tried to get free from the men, "This is none of your business."

"Oh but it is", Valentine said and placed himself in front of me and leaned forward looking straight into my eyes. "When something like this happens, I will be there because I'm the only one knowing how to do it."

"Do what?" I snapped. "Straighten me out? Can't you hear how stupid it sounds? You can't ungay me." Valentine smirked and leaned away from me.

"Watch me", he said, "and stop playing cocky." He let his hand land on my cheek and caressed my skin while he looked down at me. "If you were my son, I would have cut out your tongue and maybe your special friend would get the same treatment, too." I shook my head trying to get his hand away from me and I tried to kick him. He grabbed my ankles and spread my legs and placed himself between my legs, letting my legs rest on his hips.

"Wha… What are you doing?" I said in surprise when I felt his fingers stroke my inner thigh.

"I did this to my daughter once", he said and grabbed my hips so he could lean forward, "I burned the Christian cross into her skin, right above her chest. She did something she wasn't allowed to do and lied about it, so she was punished by the hand of God. The cross will forever be a reminder of her mistake and she would know if she ever did something like that it would only cause her pain." Valentine started to unbuckle my belt.

"She kissed a boy and gave him her heart. He didn't deserve that kiss or her heart. So I burned the cross right above her heart, so she would always know that her heart belongs to God. And when she feels her heartbeat it is for God and therefore no boy, with dignity of course, would touch her." He opened my belt and started to unzip my trousers.

"No!" I screamed and looked over at my dad. "Don't let him do this to me, dad! Please!" But my dad just stood there and looked down, not even bothering looking at what he was about to do to me. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you so much!" I felt my tears run down my cheek as I yelled, feeling my voice getting drowned. I felt my pants getting pulled down and I looked up at Valentine.

"What are you doing you, pervert!" I yelled and tried to kick him away, but he threatened me with the cross letting it get so close to my cheek, I could feel the heat burning against my skin.

"If your special friend ever get this far, he will see the cross and be frightened. He would know who you belong to and what will happen if he ever touches you." I felt my pants stop right by my thighs and I felt the cold win against my skin giving me shivers.

"Please! No!" I screamed, "You ca…-" But a burning and oozing feeling against my hipbone stopped my scream. I gasped and looked down, seeing Valentine pressing the cross against my skin. I let my head fall back and my hips bucked up, when he pushed it harder down. I whimpered and tried to keep still, but the feeling was permanent just like the mark. I could hear the cross ooze every time he would push it down and with each push I screamed.

"Oh God!" I gasped and clenched my eyes together. "Stop it! Dad, help me!" My tears started to run down my cheek and I tasted them on my lips. Salty.

I had never felt so vulnerable and defenseless before and I felt like I was bout to die. Valentine pushed it one more time against my skin, making it ooze louder. My eyes grew wide and my tears fell down like two waterfalls. My body started to fire up and I couldn't control the pain anymore. It was everywhere and it had found it's way inside me. Valentine finally stopped and pulled the cross away with a proud smile.

"See, that wasn't so bad", he said and touched the burning mark, making me winch. "Just imagine this a thousand times worse if you keep seeing that boy. Imaging your body filled with these burning crosses and the scars will never disappear." I gasped for air when the men removed their hands from me, letting me feel free. My forehead was sweaty and my voice was just a gasp.

"I hope you will rot in hell", I whispered between my gasp and tried to get up. My abdomen was still burning and I could feel the mark against my skin when I got up. I looked down at myself, seeing my stomach exposed and stopped right where my underwear were. The mark was placed by my right hipbone and it was still red and burning. My hands started to shake when I pushed down my shirt and started to zip up my pants and tried to buckle them up.

"Alexander it was for your own good", my dad said. "One day you will thank me." I stopped buckle up the belt and let my gaze slowly move over to him. I didn't look up at him because I didn't want to see his face. To see how proud and weak his eyes were, like what he had done was okay. Like everything was going to be okay. I buckled up my belt and straightened myself up.

"The pain is nothing compared to what that boy would have given you", he said and I felt his hand on my shoulder. "He can't give you love."

"Don't touch me!" I hissed and walked away from his touch. "Don't touch me! Don't look at me! Don't talk to me! Don't… Don't!" Valentine grabbed my elbow and started to drag me towards the door.

"How dare you speak to your father like that", he hissed and opened the door. "Move!" He pushed my so hard out of the door that I almost fell over my own feet. Izzy got up from the chair and looked terrified.

"What did they do to you?" she asked and was about to touch my shoulder when Valentine grabbed her wrist. "Don't touch me you piece of…"

"Izzy", I said and made her look at me. "I'm fine." She looked over at Valentine and pulled her hand out of his grab.

"I will see you later Alec", she said and kissed my cheek before walking into my dad's office. I turned around to look just as the door closed. If I would hear her scream or if they would touch a piece of her hair, I would kill them all.

**XxXxX**

Valentine pulled me after him and I was too weak to fight him.

"Where are we going?" I finally asked. "We have passed my room, you know." Valentine pulled me harder and I stumble against him. He turned around and pushed me hard against the wall.

"Don't touch me!" he hissed. "When did I say you could touch me?" I blinked in surprise and tried to gulp, but his arm was pressed hard against my throat.

"I didn't mean to", I gasped. "You pulled me and I fell against you." Valentine furrowed his eyebrow but suddenly smiled. He removed his arm from my throat and started to fix my collar.

"My bad", he said. "I'm sorry if I hurt you." He touched my arm and smiled brightly. I blinked and looked down at my arm.

"Erm… it's okay", I said and tried to not sound scared. "I think I will be going to my room." I was about to leave when he grabbed my arm and pushed me against the wall again.

"I'm not done with you", he said and his hand would slowly slide up my arm giving me shivers. "There is one last thing I need to do." I sighed and I could feel my voice was too tired to reply properly.

"What more can you do?" I asked feeling my voice trembling.

"My dad taught me how to deal with your kind. He taught me that the only way to chance somebody's impression of themselves. You have to make them feel disgusting. Make them feel disgusting about themselves", he said and his grip tightened and he pushed me harder against the wall. "It helped and he helped a lot of families, so therefore I know it will help you, too."

"Your father?" was all I could respond. "He was the priest before my father and he killed himself." Valentine raised his eyebrows like he had expected me to scream for help.

"Yes, he did", he said and kissed his cross. "God bless his soul. My father told me that the devil had come for him and threatened him and therefore he would do everything he could to die with God."

"He killed himself in the church", I said and furrowed my eyebrows. "I remember being told that some choir boys found him. He killed himself in a blessed place, well aware of the fact that people would eventually come. He was irresponsible and a sinner." Valentine slammed me hard against the wall and I gasped in surprise.

"Do _not_ speak of the dead in that tone", he said and for a moment I saw something in his eyes, it flickered only for a moment. It went by to fast for me to tell what it was, but it was there. "My father was a great man who gave himself to God."

"Let's hope that God gave himself to you father as well or else it would have been a terrible waste." Valentine smirked and started to laugh. The laugh was dark and cold and I felt my heart stop for a moment. He sighed and looked up at me with a smile on his lips.

"You think being cocky will help you? It only makes everything worse", he said and touched a piece of my hair, which was hanging down my face and pushed it behind my ear. "I will make you hate yourself, Alexander. I will make sure that you feel disgusting and that you will never let anyone touch you. Especially not your special friend", he hissed the last part. I slapped his hand away from my face.

"Don't touch me", I said feeling my voice shake, "you're sick! What kind of pervert are you?" Valentine slapped me so hard across my face that I tasted blood. I took my hand up to my lips and saw blood drip on my fingertips. I blinked and looked up at him but everything was a huge blur. He grabbed my shoulders and turned me around, hard against the wall. I gasped only tasting the dust from the walls.

"And I was trying to be so nice to you", he said and I felt his rough hands against my back as they slid to my front and started to unbuckle my pants again. "Guess I need to show who's in charge here." My eyes widened when I heard the metal of my belt cling, as they were set free. Was he really going to do what I was thinking - in the hallway of my own house? I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Please just let me go", I said and turned my head so my cheek was leaning against the wall, "I won't tell anyone about this if you just let me go." Valentine leaned in on my and I felt his cold breath against my neck.

"I don't do things half", he said and felt his hands unzip my pants. "Things will be fine if you behave." I took my hands down to his wrists and tried to remove them. My nails scratched down his skin and he shrieked and took his hands away. I was able to turn around but I didn't get the chance to move when Valentine grabbed my throat and tightened his grip. I gasped and grabbed his wrist trying to remove his hands.

"I can't… breathe", I said between my gasps for air. My eyes started to water every time I blinked and Valentine started to blur. I heard Valentine gasp every time he tightened his grip and it was like he was enjoying everything. What a pervert. I closed my eyes and opened them fast and spat him right in the face. Valentine swore and his grip loosened but he didn't let go. I tried to pull his hands away from my throat but it was like it was a statue holding me tight.

"Let go of me!" I said and started to hit him hard with my fists against his chest. Valentine turned me around again, but this time his movements were fast and rough. He started to push my pants further down and I felt them slide down underneath my hips. The burning mark was still very sensitive and when the fabric touched the sensitive skin I gasped feeling more tears run down my cheek. Valentine leaned in on me and pushed me harder against the wall. His hand slid down my pants from behind and I felt his fingers lift my underwear.

"No… No!" I screamed and tried to push him away but he had grabbed one of my wrists and twisted it behind my back. "Please don't do this! Let me go!" His hand was sliding further down.

"I had no intention of doing it like this", he whispered against my ear, "but since you ask so nicely."

"Don't… don't do this! You… can't do this!" I whimpered. "Stop!" And then I thought everything would be over. I thought he would finally get to me and destroy me.

"Alec?" a soft and hesitant voice said. I turned my head and saw Max stand in the hall with his manga book clenched hard and protective against his chest. I felt Valentines hand loosened and he let go of my wrist. I pulled my hand towards me and grabbed his wrist to pull his hand up from my pants. Valentine looked over at Max and smiled.

"Hello Max", he said and smiled. "How are you doing?" I was about to run towards Max when Valentine grabbed my wrist and began to pull my pants up and fix them. "Wouldn't want your brother to see you like this." I blinked and looked over at Max who was standing there completely blank. I returned my gaze towards Valentine and just nodded and looked down at his hands finishing up my belt. As he has finished I ran towards Max and fell down on my knees in front of him.

"What are you doing here?" I asked and grabbed his face in my hands. "What did you see?"

"I didn't see anything", Max gasped as he was finally waking up. "I heard you scream, so I came out here looking for you." I blinked and looked down at his small hands protecting his book.

"Never leave your room if you hear screams", I said and pushed some of his hair behind his ear. "I told you already."

"But it was you", he said, catching me off-guard. "I wanted to protect you, like you protect me." I smiled and felt a tear run down my cheek and I hugged him tight against me, wanting to feel a familiar body against me. Warm and welcoming. I got up and turned around and saw Valentine still stand there looking at us. I grabbed one of Max´s hands and tightened my grip hearing him gasp in pain.

"What are you still doing here?" I snapped making Valentine smile.

"Just looking at this sweet family reunion", he said and fixed his shirt. "I will see you around, Alexander." He turned around and walked away, disappearing in the dark. I blinked feeling more tears run down my cheek. I took my sleeve up to remove them when I felt someone pull at my sleeve.

"Alec…" Max said, making me look down. "If you cry I'll cry, too". I saw a few tears run down his cheek. "That man scared me and I don't want to see you cry."

"Oh no Max", I said and fell down on my knees. "I'm sorry." I touched his brown hair gently feeling it soft against my fingers.

"Thanks for saving me", I said and I saw a proud smile on his face, "but next time stay in your room." Max shook his head and touched my cheek making me blink in surprise.

"Not if it's you screaming. Or Izzy. Or Jace", he said. "I love you to much." He flung himself hard against me, making me almost fall backwards. I took a deep breath and exhaled before holding Max tight against me. His small body fitted perfectly into my embrace and even though he was small, he made me feel safe.

"I love you, too, Max", I said and buried my face into his silky brown hair and tried to forget those grey foggy eyes and instead saw those familiar warm cat eyes. And I had never felt so safe in my life.

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**Oh God i feel like the last chapters have been so depressing ! I mean do you guys think this should be Rated M ? Because i dont know, its not sexually but sort of violently...**

**Well the more reviews the faster will Malec come and trust me some really sweet moments and funny xx So REVIEW**

**- Brittany xx**


	10. Sugar daddy

**So someone reviewed saying it was her birthday today, I assume it is a girl due to the name… So I hope the time difference, isn't to different ! **

**But I wrote this chapter as fast as I could, not only for her but you all (: ENJOY **

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIIKKA OR AS YOU SAY IT IN ICELANDIC: TIL HAMINGJU MED AFMAELISDAGINN (I hope)…**

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**10. Sugar Daddy **

**Magnus´POV**

**"So** where is this party?" I asked looking up at Camille who was braiding her hair. She twirled around making her silky green dress dance in the wind. Her eyelids had golden sparkles making her eyes shine and her lips had a pink shade. She smiled brightly and walked towards me.

"It's just a party", she said and finished her braid. "At this place called Pandemonium." I snorted and crossed my arms.

"I don't want to go", I said. "I don't know what to wear." Camille rolled her eyes and grabbed me by my arm and pulled me up.

"Who are you?" she asked and rose an eyebrow. I opened my mouth and was about to answer. "You're the magnificent Magnus Bane. You can wear whatever you want and you will still fit perfectly. You can wear a bathing suit at a New Year party. That reminds me of New Year's Eve 2011", she said and started to laugh. "Do you remember when you - " I waved a hand in front of her making her just smile at me.

"Fine", I said with a sigh, "I'll go change." I was about to go into my room when Camille clapped her hands and made me turn around.

"You have 30 minutes", she said and looked down at her clock. "The party starts in exactly 45 minutes."

"Oh Darling", I said and shook my head with a smile on my lips, "I need at least 45 minutes to get myself ready. Besides it's always better to come late to a party than on time. Party rule number 1." Camille frowned and flopped up her silvery phone.

"Fine", she said and shrugged and turned around, "I'm texting Ragnor. Though he isn't going to be pleased to hear that he has to be there alone without us for a while."

"He is used to be alone", I said before disappearing into my room. Because so was I.

Camille had taken me home to my place because there was no way I was going to wear those pink ugly hot pants to the party. Though, I'm pretty sure some people wouldn't mind. I hadn't really wanted to go home or to this party, but images from the past have a tendency to scare me. I opened my closet and was greeted by a strawberry scent. I closed my eyes and sniffed in, taking in the familiar scent. My mom used to put a piece of special soap between the clothing, to let it smell good all day long. I grabbed the piece of red soap in front of me and took it up to my nose and took another sniff.

"So good", I moaned before putting it back. I felt something crawl its way between my legs and I looked down seeing a big furry white cat purr around my legs. I smiled and leaned down to caress its soft fur, making the cat lean its head against my hand.

"Hello Chairman Meow", I said and gave it a quick kiss before looking back into my closet. "Mind helping me out?" The cat spun and walked gracefully across the floor and jumped up on my bed. It took a few rounds before finally settling, letting its big blue eyes stare at me.

"I feel like going a little dark and bad boyish today", I said and grabbed a fishnet shirt and raised an eyebrow before turning to Chairman Meow who tilted his head to the side. "It's not like it's the _only_ thing I'm going to wear. God, what kind of person do you think I am?" The cat snorted before letting its head fall down again. I rolled my eyes and started to take off my white shirt and pulled on the fishnet shirt. I looked down at myself, seeing the black fishnet strings across my bare stomach and chest. I couldn't help but smirk and think that I looked magnificent just like this, but I wanted a little more. I grabbed a purple vest, which had a few metal chains hanging down the side. I slipped it on hearing the clinging sounds. I started to button it up and turned to Chairman Meow.

"Now this -", I said and pointed down myself, "- is what I call a bad ass good looking stud." Chairman meow lifted an eyebrow and meowed. I let my hands fall down and turned to the mirror. This was how I dressed when I was 17 and just wanted attention, but I guess that was what I wanted now. I grabbed a pair of glittery black pants and started to put them on. The fabric was tight and would scratch against my skin, but I knew I would get them up in the end. I bit my bottom lip when I felt the pants getting their way over my ass and sighed when they finally settled on my hips. I zipped up and looked into the mirror and let my hands slide down my hips touching the small amount of skin there was exposed. I turned to the side and let my hands settle down my ass and clapped it a few times with a smile.

"Oh yeah I still got it", I said and twirled around to look at Chairman Meow who was licking its paw. I ran towards him and grabbed him firmly before kissing him hard and fast on the forehead. He shrieked and scratched his way out of my grip and ran out of the room. I couldn't help but laugh when Camille came walking into my room with a shaky cat.

"What did you do to the poor cat?"

"He wasn't paying attention", I said and grabbed 4 bottles with the colors, blue, green, red and purple. "Mind doing my hair?" I showed her the bottles and she shook her head with a smile on her lips.

"Are you going back to your teenage years?" she asked and crawled up on the bed. She settled herself behind me, letting her knees grab my hips before grabbing the purple bottle.

"Well, everything was more fun in that age", I said feeling her fingers in my hair. "Besides I'm going to have fun, so why not doing it with style."

"You're crazy", she said and threw the bottle away and grabbed the red one. "You're going to end up like someone's sugar daddy tonight." I frowned and turned my head and looked at her.

"Never say such words in my presence", I said and turned around with a sigh, "Besides I'm pretty sure people can tell I'm _older_ than 17, but not too old. I'm never going to be someone's sugar daddy."

"When you're going to sleep with Jesus boy", she said and threw the bottle and grabbed the green one, "you're definitely a sugar daddy."

"Oh sweety", I said and waved a hand, "you don't know the definition of a sugar daddy. Its like 10-20 years of age difference."

"Yeah, there are 8 years between you and Jesus boy", she said and leaned in on me, "Sugar daddy." Her voice gave me goose bumps and I couldn't help but just bow my head and let her finish. 8 years between Alexander and me? Seriously, I had no idea it was such a huge age difference. I could be his brother or something else. I shivered at the thought, not wanting to feel old. I looked down at my hands, seeing the soft caramel skin shine with youth. It's not going to be like this in another 8 years. I jumped from the bed, hearing Camille gasp in surprise.

"We're done here", I said and looked into the mirror, seeing the different colors shine in different places in my hair. "We are going out. Now!" I grabbed Camille's wrist and without a single word I pushed her toward the door and slammed it close. Leaving Chairman Meow with a bored look on his face, like this was something he saw every day. And he did, also worse stuff.

**XxXxX**

The club was filled with men and women. Beautiful men and women, but none of them consumed me in any way. I turned my head and saw Camille flirting with some dude who had approached her. His hair had a black and blue color and his eyes were grey. His hand would sometimes slide up her leg and she would giggle and lean in further. I raised an eyebrow and turned away nipping to my straw in my drink.

"Seriously, Magnus", Ragnor said to my left in a drunk hoarse voice. His head was swaying side to side, and his olive colored skin looked even greener every time the green light flashed in his direction. There were green, red and purple colors flashing around the room and sometimes I had the feeling that I was sitting here looking like a fucking rainbow. I touched my hair, regretting that I had colored it.

"Seriously me what?" I asked and took another sip. The drink tasted like strawberry and had a strong scent and taste of alcohol and my head was slowly spinning around every time I would move.

"You are sitting there, sulking over Camille and her hot dude", he said and pointed a lazy finger at them. I turned and saw them kiss. His hands were behind her neck and he pulled her further against him. I heard her moan and she let her left leg fly over his hips. She was now straddling him and pulled in his hair making him laugh. "Get a room", I murmured and turned my attention to Ragnor, who looked like he was falling asleep.

"Fuck I'm horny", he suddenly said and I raised an eyebrow. He looked up at me and looked a little hesitant. "I never thought I would say this to my best friend, but do you want to fuck?" I choked in my drink and felt it drip down my chin.

"What?" I said, feeling my voice rise. I tried to remove some of the dripping alcohol, which was sliding down my throat. Ragnor leaned in on me and whispered against my ear.

"You're actually pretty hot", he said and I felt his tongue against my chin, licking some of the alcohol away. My eyes widened and I pushed him away slightly.

"You're drunk Ragnor", I said and saw him make a goofy smile, "What about that man. Erm, what was his name?"

"Jeremy Thomson", he said and sighed and leaned back against the couch, "Is taking me to his summerhouse in Canada tomorrow." He suddenly leaned away from the couch and leaned in on me. "Reminds me: Wouldn't you like to take care of his goldfish? And his house? He lives in this really big and great house with a swimming pool. It's for a week and all you have to do is take care for his goldfish… and wash his car before he comes home." I blinked at what he had said. It all went by so fast but I heard the word swimming pool and goldfish.

"Sure", I said and smiled lightly before pressing him hard against the couch again. "I can do that."

"Thanks", he said and sighed with a smile. "Oh, by the way, he lives in the Christian community, just so you know. So dress casually."

"I dress casually."

"Then less casual", he said and got up and clapped my lap slightly. "I'm going dancing. This dude is totally checking me out." I looked over at the dance floor seeing a blonde haired guy taking Ragnor´s hands before leaning in on him and started to grin up at him. I looked over at Camille, seeing the man's hand under her dress and she started to moan slightly. She tilted her head to the side and saw me starring. She winked and leaned back on the man and kissed him deeper. I saw her tongue slide across his lips shortly before closing their lips together.

I turned away and looked out on the dance floor, seeing Ragnor grinning against the man. It looked like they were having sex. The way their bodies danced against each other and their hands touched every single part of their body. I let my eyes slide across the dance floor seeing all the people dancing against each other, touching and kissing. I frowned, it was like it was following me, the whole couple thing and I couldn't get away from it. And here I was sitting all alone in a stupid club with a stupid strawberry drink in my hand. Everything was stupid. I was about to get up when I saw a hand reach down for me. I blinked and looked up and saw a pair of dark blue eyes stare down at me. For a moment I thought it was Alexander, but what would he be doing at a club? The boy's hair was light brown and hanging down his beautiful structured face. His lips were big and full and shined with sweat. He had a small nose piercing snaking its way around his nose and he had an eyebrow piercing, t0o. I blinked and looked down at his hand. It was pale in the lights and his silvery rings would shine when the light hid them. He looked way too young for me, but maybe he was just like me: Looking very young for his age. I took his hand and I saw him smile.

I had no idea what I was doing and why I was doing this. But I knew I wanted someone to dance with too and why not just take the first one to make a move. The boy leaded me to the dance floor and stopped and turned around too look at me. I felt his hands on my hips and his thumb would brush my exposed skin and I couldn't help but close my eyes at the touch. I opened my eyes when the song changed.

Song: Rita Ora – How We Do (Party)

His dark eyes had a small amount of light blue waves and I couldn't help but lean in closer to him. He was really beautiful but not as beautiful as Alexander. I shook my head and I felt his hands cup my head.

"I've been watching you the whole night", he said and I felt his lips touch my cheek. The touch was so soft I felt like I was flying and I hooked my fingers into his belt loops and pushed him harder against me.

"Oh have you now", I said and leaned in closer and let our noses touch. He bit his bottom lip and I felt his leg slide between my legs and he let his knee slide up and down.

"You are so beautiful", he said and leaned in on me and before he could kiss me, I tilted my head letting his lips touch my neck. It didn't seem like he minded it, he started to move his lips and I felt his tongue slide across the sensitive spot. I knew what he wanted, coming with that comment. People always said it, but when they said it they meant it in an erotic way and not in that sweet and true way. The way when a boy tells his girlfriend she is beautiful because he likes her. I wanted to try that. I let my hand slide up to his neck and squeezed hard feeling his teeth nibble my skin. He would bite slightly and slowly let go before he started to suck. I closed my eyes and moaned, pushing him harder against me. His hair was soft and smelled like vanilla and almonds and his skin was smooth but strong. I could hear him suck at my neck and I couldn't help but smile. I hadn't had a hickey in 5 years. I had forgotten how good it felt. Getting your skin pulled hard between someone's teeth and lips, feeling them pulling hard and making it pinch. In a way I liked the small amount of pain it made and sometimes I lost my breath. This boy really knew what he was doing. He sucked one last time before kissing the spot and leaned away.

"That's going to leave a mark", he said and bit his lip. I couldn't help but smile at his nervousness. The way he would bite his lip when he said something that was meant to be naughty, but ruin it with the lip biting.

"How old are you?" I asked and let my hands slowly slide under his shirt. His stomach was made of muscles and it was hard against my fingertips.

"17", he said and I pulled away fast seeing his surprise look. "What? How old are you?"

"Erm…" I blinked and looked down at my hands under his shirt. I pulled them out slowly, letting my fingers just slide down his muscular stomach one last time and I couldn't help but whimper inside my mind of the lost. "I'm 25." The boy smiled and shrugged lightly before grabbing my wrists.

"You look younger", he said and I felt our hips touch again slightly. "I don't mind." He started to make circles with his hips making me gasp. I could feel how hard he was and I would slowly become, too. I felt a slight blush come across my cheeks, not because I was embarrassed but because I was getting so aroused and the club was smoking hot.

"Do you want to go somewhere… more private?" I asked making him stop the movements. He smiled and nodded slightly before pressed his lips against mine. It was a quick and fast kiss and it tasted like cigarettes and beer.

**XxXxX**

The door slammed behind us, when he pushed me inside my apartment. I was able to kick the door shut, still keeping our lips together. He started to push my jacket off of my shoulders and I felt it slide down on the floor. I titled my head to the side, taking his lip inside my mouth and started to suck. He started to unbutton his shirt while kicking his shoes off and pushed me against the wall. I couldn't help but smile feeling my head slam hard against the wall. The boy let his lips trace down my neck while he fumbled with the zipper of my pants. I let my hands slide under his shirt, letting them slide across his chest. His nipples were hard and I took them between my fingers and squeeze a little. He gasped in surprised and leaned away and looked at me. In the dark I couldn't see him properly, so he could be anybody at this point. I took my hand behind his neck and pushed him hard against my lips. His tongue went across my lip, making it all wet and shiny and his lips slid over mine with a perfect ease.

His hand zipped my pants down and I felt them slide down my legs and giving me shivers. I walked out of them and kicked them out of the way, when I felt him moving. He walked with me, holding my wrists and our lips intact. I felt like I was a desperate teen again, and maybe I was in a way. Making out with a 17 year old whom, in a way, knew what he was doing. His lips were soft and rough and they kept sucking at one place for a while before moving to the next side. His tongue was gentle and like a wave of electricity that made my mind go crazy. I pulled him closer to me by his hips, slamming them hard against mine. He pushed me into my bedroom and threw me down on my bed. He started to unbutton my vest and threw it to the side along with the fishnet shirt, ruining my hair.

"Your hair…" he said and touched a spike, "I'm sorry." I blinked and rolled my eyes before pulling him hard against me by his collar.

"Fuck it", I whispered and pushed his shirt down his arm. He smiled and leaned in on me again and kissed my neck. He kissed the very spot he had been sucking and at this point it was very sensitive and I couldn't help but gasp at the touch. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back, when I felt his lips trace down my chest. My whole body started to feel cold; like this was something it had been waiting for, for a long time. The coldness disappeared the further down he got and the further down he got the eager I got. I grab the sheets and clenched them hard and looked down. His head was down by my hipbone and he was kissing it lightly, playing with the string of my underwear letting his thump sneak inside.

"Oh God", I said and let myself fall down again. He slowly pulled my underwear down and I felt a cold breeze surround me and I moaned in pleasure.

"Wow", he said and I looked up seeing him blink.

"What?"

"It… I don't know", he said and finally turned his gaze up to me, "I've never seen something like this."

"What?" I asked and shrugged. "A dick?"

"Of course I've seen a… dick", he said and looked down again. "Just not… that kind of dick." My eyes widened and I got up on my elbows and looked down at myself. Everything looked like it was supposed to be.

"What's wrong with it?"

"It's huge… or something." I blinked and looked down again. I think it looked like any other. Woolsey has the same one, if I had to compare. Once we actually measured his and it was around 9 inches and mine was around 8 inches. I never felt so small before, and that usually never happens.

"Well whatever", he said and shrugged with a smile on his lips. "So what do I do?"

"What do you mean?" He slowly let his hands slide up and down my inner thigh.

"I have never done something like this." I gaped and sat up straight, surprising him and he felt down on his ass.

"Are you a virgin?" I asked hearing the surprise in my voice.

"Yeah", he said and giggled, "my friends took my out today so I could finally lose it." I shook my head and shut my eyes before opening them again with a surprise look.

"So, what?" I asked. "I was just the one who was going to pop the cherry or something?"

"Mostly it was just a bet", he said and grabbed his shirt like he knew what was coming. I was just a bet? I was something he would just sleep with and then he would just brag about to his stupid teenage friends. I felt angry and used and I hadn't even been used yet.

"Out", I said and crossed my arms. He nodded and grabbed his shirt tighter and looked down at me once more.

"Are you sure you don't need help with that?" he asked and let his eyes slide down. I looked down and saw my hard on, seeing it stare right at me.

"Out!" I yelled and he jumped and ran out in the hallway, grabbing his pants and shut the door behind him. I took my hands up to my head and rubbed my eyes before letting myself fall down into my bed with a groan. I couldn't believe a little teenage boy was about to take an advantage of me. I crossed my arms and sighed looking up at my white ceiling. Here I was alone in my bed and hard and aroused. I shook my head and rolled over to the edge of my bed and looked under my bed to see if any of my porn was still down there. I let my hand search in the dark but nothing was there. I took my hand back and sighed even harder and looked down at myself. I couldn't just lie here and jerk off without anything. That was something I did when I was a teenager. I looked over at my table counter and saw my glittery purple cell phone and grabbed it. I started to flip through my photos, remembering that Woolsey once took pictures of himself to my own enjoyment. I stopped by a picture of Woolsey half naked with a goofy smile. I raised an eyebrow and just let my hand slide down. I grabbed my hard erection and started to slide down my hand easily, feeling myself starting to moan. I let my head fall down at my pillow. And I started to slide up and down slowly, taking in the pleasure. I couldn't help but whimper a little at how rough and difficult it was to move the hand up and down. I hadn't used any sort of lube to make it smooth and wet. I kept looking at the picture, seeing him naked in front of me and I tried to imaging him down there doing the whole thing. I felt my breathing starting to quicken and I couldn't help but moan louder and I started to pump faster. I closed my eyes and I felt my grip on the sheets tightened. My hand around the phone tightened too and I heard a small click and I opened my eyes hoping I hadn't called anybody. And right in front of me was that blue-eyed wonder boy. His black raven hair was falling over his blue yes, and he had a small surprised and cute smile on his lip. There were two small dimples forming in each corner of his mouth. I blinked in surprise and before I could stop, my whole body started to tingle and the feeling was overwhelming and it was going through my body making it hard for me to catch my breath. I started to get light-headed and my vision got blurry and suddenly I felt an instant lightness. I gasped and looked down at myself seeing my sperm on my stomach.

"Ew…" I said and looked back at my phone. In a way I should feel disgusted by coming to the picture of Alexander, but in a way I didn't mind it was him and not Woolsey. I threw my phone down to the end of my bed and grabbed some napkins that were placed on my bed table. I got up on my elbows and started to clean my stomach. I couldn't help making grimaces, every time the napkin went over my stomach. I could feel the wet and sticky sensation against my skin. I should just have let that boy do whatever he wanted so I wouldn't be in this situation. It was all because of that stupid bet, but I wasn't any better. I was doing the exact same thing to Alexander. I frowned and tossed the napkin away, before covering myself with a small silky green blanket that was placed above my duvet. If Alexander ever find out about this bet he was going to kill me. But I wouldn't let him found out, in fact I was just going to do it and get the cross and disappear from his life. I mean he is curious enough. I frowned louder and turned my head down my pillow and started to scream only hearing my screams against the pillow.

"I'm such a bastard!" I yelled into the pillow. "A selfish fucking bastard!"

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**Okay now that was awkward but than again not really ! So MALEC will be here VERY SOON ! As in chapter 12 ! So review as much as you can for MALEC and to make me write just as fast as I did with this one.**

**I´m addicted to reviews… what to do ;)**

**- Brittany xxxx**


	11. Different is normal

**I actually tried my best to get this chapter done last week, but I was so blank with this chapter I didn't know what to do. But it´s finally here and I finished it this weekend, halleluja for that!  
So whoever have started school last week, i´m sorry for the delay and I hope you had a great first day back to school. ALL OF YOU!**

**BTW I will start school on Thursday, but I will do my best to post Malec in the next couple of weeks!**

**Thank you so much for reviewing! I love every single review, and i cant believe its on 120 reviews ! WOW ! LOVE YOU xxx**

**ENYOJ xx**

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**11. Different is normal**

**I** sighed looking over my desk at Mrs. Fray, who was writing something on the blackboard. I didn't really want to go to school today. My hips still hurt and I could feel the burn against the fabric of my pants and shirt. I frowned and looked back down, seeing my fingers tap the table. I felt like a nervous wreck. I did things I had no idea I was doing and every time someone would come from behind, I would jump. Maybe Valentine had succeeded in making me scared of other peoples touch. I looked up again and turned my attention over to Jace who was sitting with his arms crossed over his chest. His white shirt curved his muscles perfectly and his dark blue pants hang loose down his waist, showing some bare skin. His head turned and he saw me gazing. He took a hand up to his mouth and pretended to yawn. I smiled and looked back down trying to daze away and hopefully Mrs. Fray wouldn't notice me.

The big windows let a small amount of sunshine into the classroom. The sun was finally coming back, warming up the wet grass and trees. I could it all the way into the classroom. There was a small window open at the end of the classroom. The wind would play with a small plant, making its leaves flutter. I closed my eyes taking in the scent. It was strong, sweet and pure. It almost had the same scent as new cut grass; expect this was wet, making the scent a little thicker, sort of musty. It was the same smell there was at the park. That day I went to see Magnus. I remembered as I reached him, he smelled so sweet and I could smell the newly baked bread on him, making me forget about the musty smell. I couldn't help but smile at the memory. I saw it clearly in front of me. Hearing the raindrops fall down to the ground and on me, making me shiver and more nervous. He would just stand there, proud, strong and wet with a smile on his face. The rain made him even prettier making his hair fall down in small pieces, making him look younger than usual. And when he finally touched me I felt like I was about to fly away, just like I wanted to do now. I felt like I disappeared and I didn't need to worry about anything. I opened my eyes and sighed. But all I did now was worrying and I felt like everybody was watching me, like they knew something was wrong with me. Or better yet that they knew I wasn't like them - that I wasn't normal. I fisted my hand at the word. I was just like the others. I was human, with two eyes, a nose and a mouth. I have a heart and I feel. I can feel pain and love when I need to. I would just love the wrong person. A person I wouldn't be able to kiss or to hold hands with in public or to have children with. That was the only thing what wasn't normal. But there isn't any law saying I can't hold hands or kiss the one I love in public just because we are the same gender and I can always adopt. It's normal for a couple to do such a thing. I am normal.

I heard the bell ring and I got up from my seat and I started to pack. I just wanted to get out of here and I couldn't wait.

"Mr. Lightwood." I froze and turned around slowly, seeing Mrs. Fray stand in front of me. Her long red hair was up in a messy bun and she had a painted shirt with a black jacket covering up a few spots. I blinked in surprise and swung my bag over my shoulder.

"Joce -", I said and hesitated, "Mrs. Fray?"

"How are you doing?" she asked in a low voice and leaned against the table behind her. I looked over her shoulder and saw Jace staring at me with a questioning look. I smiled and made a sign that he should just go ahead without me.

"I'm doing fine", I said and gave her a questioning look. She smiled a bit and looked a little hesitant.

"You seemed a little distant today", she said and leaned away from the table, "How are things at home?" I blinked and I couldn't help but look away.

"Good", I mumbled and looked back at her. "How are things at your home?" I know I shouldn't have asked that. I knew how things were at their place. Mrs. Fray might be married to Mr. Morgenstern, but she wouldn't take his last name, because of traditions in her family. And then they got Sebastian and Clary and things started to change. Valentine started to beat up Sebastian saying it was good to let kids know who was in charge and Clary was only protected because of her mother. Jocelyn took Clary´s beating. People knew what was going on, but they didn't say anything because people are afraid of Valentine - and now I was, too.

Jocelyn made a small smile and looked down at her hands. She played with her golden ring, letting it slip up and down her finger.

"I'm sorry", I said and was about to touch her shoulder but drew back. "I shouldn't have said that. That was…" She took a hand up to stop me and looked up at me. Her eyes were glistening and it looked like she was about to cry and my heart skipped a beat. It was every time I was near that family that bad things would happen, the men would threaten me and I made the women cry.

"I shouldn't pry in your personal business. Your family…" she stopped and touched my shoulder making me jump. I saw the surprised look in her eyes like she didn't expect that to happen. "I'm sorry for whatever my husband did to you last night, Alexander." I shook my head in surprise and took my hand behind my neck.

"Thank… you?" I said and made her squeeze my shoulder. "Look Jocelyn. You don't need to apologize." Jocelyn made a sad smile and took her hand away. I knew I didn't need to say anything because she knew that he had done something. But she didn't need to know what. She turned around and was about to walk away when I took a step next to her.

"Do you know where your daughter is?" She turned round and looked straight at me. She was a little shorter than me but not that much because she was wearing heels.

"Clarissa?" she asked and looked stunned by my question. "Well, she had English with Mr. Garroway at the second floor but I think she will be at the art room."

"Art room? But it´s lunch break?" Jocelyn smiled and walked me to the door and closed it behind us, "She always eats there when Simon isn't at School."

XxXxX

The art room was down in the cellar. The hallway was always grey, cold and full of the smell of fresh paint. I grabbed a small silvery handle and opened the door slowly, getting blinded by a strong light. The art room had yellow walls, with paintings on every single wall. In the middle was a stool and around it were 17 easels and chairs. I took another step, letting the door close behind me. There were tables with different paint buckets and there were smears of paint on every single thing. I touched a leaf of a plant next to me, seeing the red paint covering the tip of the green leaf.

"Who's there?" I looked up and saw a girl sitting with her back to me. Her long hair was hanging down in fiery waves and she wore a green top. Her pants were tight and she had green ankle Converse with a yellow smear on the heel. Her head had turned a little bit and I could see she was painting but not what.

"It's Alec", I said and took another step, "Alec Lightwood." My voice sounded hesitant. I shouldn't have come here and at this moment I just wanted to run away. The girl turned around and her eyes widened when she finally looked me in the eyes.

"Alec?" she said and got up from her chair and walked over to her bag. I took another step forward.

"Don't run away", I said and looked at her green eyes. She looked almost scared and for a minute I was scared of myself. She looked at me like I was the devil coming to harm her. "I just want to talk." She blinked and looked down tightening her grip on the strop of her bag. "Please?" She sighed and looked back at me.

"What is it?" her voice snapped at me and I felt like taking a step back but I kept my feet planted where they were.

"I'm sorry", I said and took a hand behind my neck, "for what I did 4 years ago. Coming to your house and screaming at you like a jealous crazy person. You didn't deserve that. I was just going through some stuff at that point, but it's all solved now. And I came to say I'm sorry." My last words came out in a whisper and I looked up at her. She just stood there and stared at me. She didn't say anything or moved and in worse case she didn't seem like she was breathing. "Clary? Say something." She finally exhaled and blinked a couple of time.

"You come here after 4 years and say you're sorry?" she said and took a step forward. "Why now? Why not 3 years ago? 2 years ago? 1 year ago? Or a week ago? What makes it okay for you to come here, and say sorry now? After so long?" I took my hand down and let it fall down to my hip touching the mark through the fabric of my shirt.

"Because I finally can", I said and tightened my grip on my shirt making her look down. "I was a stupid child and I didn't know what my feelings meant back then. And I'm still not sure because I screwed everything up. I always screw things up. First you, then Magnus, my parents and myself. I can never do anything right, but I know if I could do this, I would at least had done something right. I know you still care for Jace and Jace still cares for you. I don't say you two have to go out today or tomorrow, but I don't want you two to hide from each other anymore." Just like I need to stop hiding.

Clary took a hand up to her head and let it go through her red hair and opened her mouth to say something.

"I'm going to talk to Jace, too", I said, making her close her mouth and her green eyes widened. "I'm going to tell him everything. And he might hate me afterwards, but…" I shrugged, "whatever." Everyone hates me anyway so why not put another one in count. I felt my body tightened and shiver all over and I had to let a hand slide up my arm feeling the cold breeze against my skin.

"Alec", Clary finally said and I looked up at her. She smiled and took step forward and touched my shoulder, making me shiver. "Who's Magnus?" I blinked, was that what she wanted to know? I came here telling her I'm sorry and how much I screwed up and she wants to know who Magnus is. Actually, I don't even remember saying his name. I might have slipped it out at some point because everything went so fast.

"He…" I didn't know who or what he was. "I don't know. Why do you want to know?"

"Because you said things were finally solved", she said and tilted her head to the side. "And because back then you were a stupid naïve child, who didn't understand his feelings."

"Magnus is just someone I met at a diner", I said. "He's nobody special." Clary lifted an eyebrow and made a hoarse sound from her throat. I blushed feeling my cheeks getting warm. "I guess you can say he helped me figure myself out." Clary took her hand away from my shoulder and grabbed her bag's strop.

"You know… I always knew you were different", she said making me blush even more. "I knew you liked Jace more than a brother and that you were upset that me and Jace could have what you wanted the two of you to have."

"Then why didn't you say anything?" I said. "You could just have said something and we wouldn't be here"

"I was a child myself, Alec. And you were my friend and the way you were screaming and crying made me upset. But when you started to threaten me, you just scared me and I thought if I hit you, you would leave me alone. And you did." She smiled a bit and looked uncomfortable. I could clearly remember the slap she gave me across my cheek. It was red for week. "I was so upset that I couldn't speak to Jace anymore because I didn´t want to upset you further. And in the end I just forgot everything and started to live my own life. But I'm glad you are here, Alec." She smiled brighter and bit her bottom lip. "I'm glad you finally came to terms with yourself, sort of. As for Jace, you don't have to tell him anything at the moment. Don't do it for me but for yourself." She walked pass me and I turned around grabbing her wrist.

"What about us?" I asked making her turn around. "Are we friends again? Or -" Clary wiggled out for my grip and shrugged.

"How about we just take it slow", she said, "and let time show us what we are?" I smiled and nodded. Clary was always good with words and always knew what to say and do. It makes things so much easier and I was glad it went the way it did. Clary walked towards the door and grabbed the handle.

"Alec", she said in a whisper, but there was something in her voice that made me look up at her with narrowed eyes. "I'm sorry for whatever my dad did to you last night. I'm sorry for whatever he said or made you feel. But never think that you don't belong with the rest of us just because you are different. Different is normal."

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**Sneak peek on some Malec (Soon):**

His hair was still wet and hanging down his caramel skin, shaping is beautiful face. I felt my heart starting to beat faster and faster against my chest making me gasp for air. He smirked as he leaned in on me. I felt a blush go across my face, making me fist my hand. He was so close and I could feel his bare shoulder against mine. The contact made me jump a bit, letting some of the water from my own hair slip down to my mouth. He leaned further and titled his head to the side, looking at me with patience. I let my gaze slide down to his lips, seeing the smooth surface and the small amount of gloss making them all sparkly and kissable…

**Okay so that was a long sneak peek, but I thought you needed some Malec! And is it just me, or does Alec and Magnus meet each other WET? But well okay then, the chapter in that scene is going to be hot and wet, and finally im going to write some sweet Malec!**

**Review for more wet Malec or something xx Just review and be a sweetheart.**

**Once again sorry for the delay**

**- Brittany xx**


	12. Something Pink

**I´m baaaack! Well sort of! I´ll try to upload more often, or at least better then i have done recently. I have just startet my senior year, which is really stressful. But, even though, i´ll do better - I mean it has been a 1whole month, or maybe more? Lets just forget that... Here it is! the next chapter!  
And it´s MALEC TIME! I´m so happy to finally write those two together! And chapter 13 is done and ready, and filled with some sweet MALEC smut! **

**Enjoy! **

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**12. Something Pink**

**Magnus´POV**

**Mr. Thomson's** house was just like the others on the outside: dark brown bricks, shaping the small house with a red door and big windows. I let my hand land flat on the red surface, scratching some of the red paint off with my nail. I grabbed the small silver chain around my neck; the one Ragnor had given me. Sticking the golden key in the lock of the door. The street looked empty, with a few parked cars and I wouldn't have been surprised if I had seen a tumbleweed roll by. I sighed at the sight, and I had to come here every day for 1 week so Ragnor could get laid. I was just slightly jealous.

When I opened the door, there was a huge living room right in front of me with black leather sofas and a big flat TV screen. I couldn't help but gasp. The outside of this house didn't match with the inside. I felt like I stepped into some rich man's mansion. I dropped my bag and took another step. I walked further and when I looked up I saw a small balcony shaping the upstairs. You could actually walk upstairs but still look down on the living room. The stairs were big and white with an old carpet. I touched the leather sofa, feeling it against my fingertips.

"Holy shit", I said and couldn't help but let myself fall down on the couch. I let out a big sigh before letting my hands travel behind my neck. The walls were tall and white with a few family pictures and masks. I sat up, touching the glass of the sofa table and grabbed the remote. There were so many different buttons and I had no idea what to press to turn on the music. I looked up at the big stereo right next to the TV. Even the stereo looked complicated, with thousands of buttons and with the different colors of light blinking. I looked down at the remote and pressed a button and the light turned on. I blinked and pressed the button next to the other and the light dimmed into a warm and romantic lighting. I sighed and was about to give up when I pressed one last button and the TV turned on and suddenly 3 men started to moan. My eyes widened and I looked down at the remote and tried to turn it off, but instead of just turning it off, the volume kept growing and suddenly the living room was filled with the 3 men's moans.

"Ragnor", I said and shook my head, "you're disgusting." I pressed one last time and the TV finally turned black. I hoped nobody had heard it, or else Mr. Thomson's dirty little secret wouldn't be a secret anymore.

I walked into the kitchen. It was small and old fashioned, with old green wallpaper with teacups on. The counters was brown with a few fading pink flowers in the front. I opened the refrigerator, only seeing a lot of green: salad, bananas, apples etc. There was some milk and juice and that was it. This man had a huge flat screen TV where he watched gay porn and his refrigerator had a few fruits and liquids. It was clear what this man preferred. When I closed the refrigerator I saw a small note hanging from a magnet. I grabbed it, when I could see it was Ragnor´s handwriting:

_**The fish is in the living room. I bet you've already been in there, but didn't see the fish... I hoped you enjoyed the show and I will explain later. Don't mess anything up, meaning no boys and parties. And his car is parked in the front. You just have to remove the big, grey cover and underneath that is the car.**_

_**I love you. Thanks again for the help. I owe you.**_

_**Love Ragnor**_

I frowned. He talked to me like I was a stupid blond - like I was Camille. I'm pretty sure I would figure out where the car was eventually, but there was no way I was going to clean the car right now. I wanted to see what this man was hiding. I couldn't help but grin, because I bet that man was a true perv with dildos and bondage in his room. I turned around on my heels and started to run back into the living room and up the stairs. His room was easy to find, because Ragnor was stupid enough to hang a note on his door: Do not enter!

The room had a dark red color and the bed was huge, with a lot of pillows in different shapes and colors. I walked to the bed tables and opened the drawers. In the first, there were only a few cigarettes, which I took. I walked over to the other drawer and opened the first one finding a pink lube bottle. I couldn't help but smile and I could feel it was nearly empty. This was just getting better and better. I fell down on my knees and leaned down, looking under his bed. Nothing. There was only a lot of dust and some forgotten clothing. I got up and let my hands slide down my legs, trying to get the dust away.

"Where would I hide my special equipment if I was a horny, Christian perv?" I said to myself and made a twirl to get a view of his room. I ran over to the closet and opened it, pushing his clothing aside, trying to see if there was something in the back. Again nothing. This Mr. Thomson was an expert and knew where to hide his stuff, or maybe Ragnor did it, knowing I would go look. I was about to give up when I saw a cleaning basket in the corner of the room. I walked over and started throwing the clothing on the floor. As I reached for the last piece of clothing, I saw some leather straps underneath.

"Victory!" I couldn't help but say through my laugh. I took the leather strop up and saw it was something you used to cover the mouth with. Underneath, were some handcuffs. They had some pink fabric around them and they were very long. I let my hand slide down again and the next thing I found was a pink dildo. I walked back to the bed and sat down turning the vibrator on and then off. I shook my head. I had no idea Ragnor was into this kind of stuff, but what the hell. I grabbed the lube and I decided I was going to hide this from them, just to be annoying, because I love being like that.

I ran down the stairs and stopped when I saw the gold fish on a small glass table by the window. It was in a small round aquarium. If you could even call it an aquarium, but I don't know. I don't understand fishes or why anyone would have one. I tapped the glass and the fish swam backwards in a fast movement. There was sand at the bottom and there was a small ship, which looked like a pirate ship that had sunk to the ground. It would have looked cool, if it weren't for the big cross that was down there as well. I was about to go find a place to hide the dildo and lotion, when I heard someone yell outside. I turned around and walked into the dining room and moved a curtain aside and looked out. It was the neighbor across. I could see the house behind the bushes. It was different from this one, it was bigger and it looked older. I saw a man stand by the door yelling at somebody to come out. This was the first big thing I had seen on this street, I know it wasn't so exciting, but I couldn't help but stare.

"Come clean this car!" he yelled and my gaze turned to a black car. It was slightly muddy and looked pretty old. "Get the oil to. It needs some oil!" That man was really losing patience and he was scary. I could see he was tall, and pale, with a big thick black beard and hair. My body shivered, I wouldn't be bringing any oil to that man, only to spray it in his face perhaps. I saw the man turn around and take someone's hand and gave the person a bucket with water.

"What about school?" the person asked and the man sighed pushing him aside, making him visible. My eyes widened when I saw him. Alexander. He was wearing shorts and a black t-shirt. His black hair was a mess, like he had just woken up. His blue eyes were hidden under his thick, black lashes, and I couldn't tell his expression because he was ducking his head. Alec turned around when his father closed the door behind him. I ran over to the other window and saw him place the bucket down by his feet and grab the sponge that was soaked. He wrung the sponge, and the water splashed down by his sneakers. He leaned over the car letting his t-shirt slip up a bit, showing some skin right above the hem of his shorts. I let my gaze fall down to his ass, which was moving up and down when he moved his body up and down the car. It was just so perfect; it was small and had the perfect round butt cheeks, which were perfectly shaped in those shorts. I bit down on my bottom lip when he leaned away and bend to get some more water. It was like it was begging me to come out and I smirked at the thought and ran over to my bag. I placed the dildo and lube on the sofa table and opened my bag, grabbing some pink hot pants. I grabbed a white shirt too, and I started to change. I turned my head and saw Alec still cleaning the car, but it didn't look like he was putting a lot of effort to it. I ran into the kitchen and grabbed a bucket and a sponge and ran towards the door, almost falling over my own feet, leaving a few watery spots on the floor.

**XxXxX**

I ran outside, feeling the warmth of the sun against my bare legs. I looked over at Alec who had his back against me. I turned to the car and pulled the grey cover away, revealing a beautiful red thunderbird. I couldn't help but gape. The red paint was shiny and it looked new. The seats had a dark leather color, which was actually looking pretty good. I let my hand slide around the car until I reached the other side so I could look straight at Alec, who still hadn't noticed me. I started to wring the sponge and splashed it across the front of the car, starting to clean the hood. Alec finally stopped cleaning the hood of his car and threw the sponge down the bucket. He opened up the hood of the car and looked down at it. He looked completely lost, like he had no idea what he was looking at. He took a small instrument, which must be the one containing the oil. He started to spray it in random places and rolled his eyes. He leaned down and started to touch the motor. I leaned further over the hood trying to see what he was doing. I felt the water from the hood soak my white shirt. I leaned away and looked down, seeing my chest and stomach being visible. I looked back at Alec, who looked like he was struggling with something, and suddenly he pulled something loose, stumbling backwards. There was some black liquid flying up from the motor and it splashed right across his face. I started to laugh hard and loud. I actually thought I heard my laugh echo on the quite street. I looked up and saw Alec trying to clean his face, when he finally turned in my direction. His eyes widened and he looked surprise. I didn't blame him.

"Magnus?" he yelled a little bit and I a waved a hand towards him, holding a sponge. He blinked in confusion and pulled the collar of his shirt up to his face starting to remove some of the oil. As he pulled up his shirt, he revealed a small amount of pale skin. But I could still see his muscles and small pieces of the perfect six-pack; I knew he was hiding underneath all that clothing. He lifted his shirt a little higher, letting me see that his shorts was hanging loose on his hips, also letting me see his perfect V pointing down to something heavenly. I couldn't help but bite my bottom lip and I tilted my head to the side. When I saw his shirt cover it up again, I straightened myself and saw Alec stare at me, with a few smeared oil spots on his cheek. "What are you doing here?" he mimed. I was about to say something when Alec´s front door opened and the tall man appeared.

"I don't see you scrubbing!" he yelled and pointed at the car. He gave me a small glance before closing the door again. Alec turned around and closed the hood of the car and started to scrub again. I walked back to the car, but instead of going around so I could look at Alec, I just turned around and bend down taking the sponge. I moved the mirrors, which were on the side of the car so I could see him. I leaned over the car and started to clean the hood, and without even thinking about it I looked at the mirror and saw Alec slowly letting his eyes slide up, looking straight at me - or at least some part of me. I couldn't help but smile, when I saw how hesitant he was and how he would look to either side, seeing if anyone else was looking at him. And then he would look back at me. I couldn't help but lean further over the car and I saw that cute blush go across his cheeks. I was surprised by myself that I've actually been missing it. I turned around and saw him look down fast and started to scrub very slowly at the same spot he had been scrubbing at beforehand. I walked to the front of the hood and went down on my knees and cleaned the front. I'm glad that this place was so deserted, because I didn't think people around here would appreciate a sight like this. I slowly glanced over at Alec, who looked at me and managed a shy smile before scrubbing again. He was gay, there was no doubt. He was checking me out about every 5 seconds. I got up, made a huge sigh and threw my hands up in the air, to stretch myself. I felt my shirt crawl up, revealing my stomach and heard a huge bump. I took my arms down and looked over at Alec, or where he was supposed to be. I blinked, when he was nowhere to be seen. I took a few hesitant steps, across the green lawn. I couldn't help but look over at Alec´s home, hoping his father wasn't coming to yell at me for touching his grass. The closer I got, the more visible did the scene in front of me get. Alec was lying on the ground with a scratch across his eyebrow and it was bleeding. I ran over to him and got down on my knees, touching his face.

"Alec?" I said and bend down letting my ear getting close to his mouth. He was still breathing and I heard small whimpering sounds come out of his mouth. I rolled my eyes and grabbed his wrists, yanking him up from the ground. Somehow I got him up and tried to carry him, but his clothing and bare legs were slippery because of all the water. I started to walk, or actually, I was running across the lawn so I could get into the house without being seen. The whole thing would look like the amazing gay man in pink hot pants kidnapping the innocent wet and unconscious Christian boy. Which was true, expect for the kidnapping part.

I went into the living room and slowly placed him down on the couch. I touched his wound, seeing his body wince. I sighed and looked down at him. His sweet baby blue eyes were hidden underneath his eyelids, his mouth was red and slightly parted and there was a drop of water sliding down his perfect jaw line. His hair was sticking on his face and I couldn't help but move some of it away. I let my eyes slowly slide down. His collarbone was visible and it was shining from all the water. I let my fingers touch it lightly, letting it slide down the shape of the bone and I looked further down. His shirt was slightly crumbled and it had lifted a little. I tilted my head to the side and I felt like a horny creep, but I couldn't help but grab the edge of his shirt and lift it up. I looked underneath it and tried to lift it further. His stomach was really pale and really flat. I could see his muscles move, every time he breathed. It was beautiful. I gulped when I tried to pull it further up, when he suddenly started to move. I stopped and I went completely stiff, and I slowly let my gaze slide up. His blue eyes were blinking tiredly and he looked up at me confused. His eyes widened when he saw what I was doing and he was about to scream when I let my hand land flat against his mouth. He tried to push me away and I felt his screams against my palm. I looked around and saw the pink dildo on the table. I grabbed it and slapped him hard across his head, and he went silent. I gasped and dropped the dildo. Had I just hit him unconscious, with a pink dildo? I blinked and looked at the red mark across his temple. Oh yes I had. Indeed I had.

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**Hoped you enjoyed! Review to let me know you havnt forgotten this story and just to let me know there is still some people reading this :P And for being so patience, here is a snippet of the next chapter!**

**Snippet:**

"The kiss", I heard myself whisper and I froze as soon as the words came out of my mouth. Magnus looked up at me and frowned.

"The what?" he asked.

"The kiss", I said and looked up at him "I liked it…" **  
**

**Ready for some more Malec smut? Because there will more of this in the next many chapters! **

**Review! (L)**

**Love ya!**


	13. Reminding you

**So here is the next chapter. Finally some real Malec stuff!**

**Thanks for reviewing last time, I appreciate it very much (L)**

**Enyoj**

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**13. Reminding you**

**I** sighed and felt a fresh breeze against my arms. I whimpered and grabbed my head. It felt like someone was hitting me with a hammer. I opened my eyes slowly, and everything was fuzzy. The ceiling was moving from side to side and the sunlight was burning in my eyes. I clenched my eyes shut and whimpered again. I took a deep breath and let my fingers caressed the couch underneath me. The surface was rough and smooth. It was leather. I frowned; we didn't have leather in our living room. My parents were against leather. I opened my eyes again and tried to get up on my elbows. The room was large and high to the ceiling. The light was bright and it was reflecting on the big flat screen TV. I grabbed the remote and looked at all buttons. I pointed the remote at the TV and was about to turn it on.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you", a voice said from behind. The voice send shivers down my back and I turned around.

"Magnus?" I said with a gasp. He smiled and walked over to the couch and sat down on the other end. He was wearing tight jeans and a sparkly silver shirt. His hair was falling down his face in wet strips and he looked plain. I looked up at his hair, it looked smooth and I wanted to reach out and touch it. I blinked and looked down on the ground seeing something pink. I titled my head to the side and lifted myself up and bend down grabbing it. Magnus was about to stop me, when I saw it was a pink dildo. My eyes widened and I looked over at him.

"You!" I said and pointed at him with the dildo. "You knocked me out! Why would you do that?" Magnus opened his mouth and was about to say something when I shook the dildo. "Don't answer that you perv!" Magnus giggled and started to laugh out loud.

"What's so funny? Stop laughing!" I said and looked at him closely. His lips glistened from the water and his laughter was beautiful and I couldn't help but blush.

"It's just I cant help but not to", he said and looked at me for a second before looking down at the dildo. "It's not every day I'm being yelled and pointed at by a pink dildo." I blinked and dropped the dildo. I looked up at him and pulled me knees underneath my chin. I hadn't expected to see him ever again. Especially not wet, shining and all dressed up. He looked perfect, just like the day at the park. I blushed deeper and rubbed my cheek against my knee.

"Are you okay?" he asked and I looked up. He raised an eyebrow and twisted his body to the side, so I had a full view of it.

"What are you doing here?" I asked and looked up at him. "I mean, you don't live here. This is Mr. Thomson's house."

"What are you saying?"

"Err. I mean, what are you doing here?" I asked again and touched my legs, feeling my cold hands against my wet skin. I shivered again and I felt cold and warm at the same time. I took a hand up to my forehead and rubbed it slowly. "You didn't break in, did you?"

"Do I look like a burglar to you?" he asked and looked a little offended, "To answer your question. No, I didn't break in. I have a key", he grabbed a chain around his neck and revealed a key at the end. "I'm actually watching over Mr. Thomson's house and his goldfish for the week."

"His goldfish?" I said with a small laugh. I rolled my eyes and I couldn't help but smirk at him. "How do you know Mr. Thomson?" Magnus bit his bottom lip and he seemed a little hesitant. He seemed secretive and I had immediately regretted asking. In a way I have always thought there was something weird about Mr. Thomson, seeing him checking boys out and watching gay porn. But I was 10 when I noticed; I didn't think there was something weird about that. I did the same, except for the gay porn thing. Magnus was probably sleeping with him, and when Mr. Thomson took on a VC, Magnus would get the house. It was like he was a pimp to Magnus. I wondered if he got money for every time they… I blinked and shook my head; there was no way Magnus was like that. But I didn't know Magnus at all, so maybe he was.

"What are you thinking?" he asked and smiled curiously, "Thinking about how I know him?" I looked up at him slowly and shrugged.

"Are you and…" I stopped and bit my bottom lip, "Mr. Thomson sleeping with each other? Are you like his sex friend?" Magnus snorted and looked away.

"The correct word would be that he would be my sugar daddy and I would be his twink", he said and looked back at me and raised his eyebrows in a fast and flirty movement. "And why do you ask? Are you jealous?" I gulped and shook my head. I shouldn't be jealous; there was nothing between Magnus and me. We only kissed and I never got to tell him that I liked it. That I really liked it and that I wanted to do it again and again. And that, if I had the chance, I would probably fall in love with him. My eyes widened and I saw Magnus' confused look.

"Hey", he said and leaned over, letting his hand land on top of mine, "it was a joke, don't get all nervous." I just starred at him. My eyes wouldn't look away and I didn't want to look away. His eyes was shining and looking right at me. The yellow/green color was consuming me and I felt myself leaning slightly forward. Magnus blinked and looked down at my hands.

"Alec", he said and looked up at me, "you're shaking." I felt my heart beat faster and harder against my chest, making it difficult for me to breath.

"I…" I said and looked down at his lips, "I cant breathe". My voice came out as a moan and I leaned away and grabbed my head. Magnus got up and disappeared fast and came back just as fast.

"Here", he gave me a bucket and sat back down, touching my hand again. I looked down at the bucket and placed it down on the floor. I wasn't going to puke; I have no idea what just happened. I touched my forehead and felt a piece of plaster on my eyebrow.

"Yeah", Magnus said with a smile and looked at my eyebrow. "You hit your head pretty hard outside. I just stopped the bleeding and used some plaster to hold it back." I looked up at him confused at first, but remembered what had happened. I wasn't keeping attention while cleaning the car. I couldn't take my eyes of Magnus when he was grinding against his car. His white shirt was wet and one could see through it. His stomach was well formed and it was clinging to the shirt, forming it perfectly. And then I slipped on the sponge and hit my head on the car.

"I remember", I mumbled and looked back at Magnus who just smiled.

"I guess it's sort of my fault", he said, "grinding against the car and whatever."

"Maybe I shouldn't have looked", I said and sighed, "though it was kind of difficult. I mean, it's not something you see every day." Magnus laughed again and I felt his thumb slide up my hand.

"I guess not", he said and bit his bottom lip while he looked down at me. "So, how are you?"

"Fine", I said and shrugged. "You?"

"Awesome", he said and then there was silence. He just stared down at our hands and I couldn't help but stare down at his face. His thick eyelashes would cast shadows every time he blinked. And there was still some water running down his face. I had no idea how he had gotten so wet. I opened my mouth but closed it again. I really wanted to say something, just something. I really wanted to talk to him because he kept me calm.

"The kiss", I heard myself whisper and I froze as soon as the words came out of my mouth. Magnus looked up at me and frowned.

"The what?" he asked.

"The kiss", I said and looked up at him "I liked it…" There was no way I was going to back out now. I was stupid enough to think out loud. "I never got the chance to tell you if it helped. It did help, because I _really_ liked. And I really wanted to see you again and call you just to hear your voice, but I was scared because I acted like a confused teenage boy, running away from you like that, and I thought that maybe you wouldn't want to see me again." Magnus blinked like he had to make sure that what I just said was correct. He just stared at me for a while and I couldn't tell if he felt the same way or the opposite. I was about to take my hand out of his grip, but he grabbed it, stopping my movement.

"You are a confused teenage boy", he said in a calm voice, like he understood. "I wish you had called me and I wish that I had been the grown up to call you too. I wanted to see you, and I missed you. And I never miss people, only people that I like." He smiled and touched my knuckles with his fingertips. "And I like you, Alexander." The way he said my full name made my heart stop. I couldn't help but think of my parents every time my name was said, but the way he said my name was different. It was sweet, gentle and it didn't make me want to go hide somewhere dark.

"You like me?"

"Of course", he said and let his hand slide up my arm. "Why else would I go out in the rain and to the park, just to see you?" I shrugged and I felt his hand stop by my shoulder and I looked down at his strong hand resting on me. I wanted to let my head fall down on it, just so I could feel the warmth and softness of it. And be close to him.

"I'm not very good at this kind of stuff", I said and fisted my hands on my knees, "I have never done something like this. This is all new to me. Why would you be with someone like me? I'm younger than you, and I'm not even legal", I heard Magnus giggle, "and I'm inexperienced."

"I don't mind breaking the law", he said and his hand cupped my face and I felt his thumb brush my jaw line, sending small vibrations down my body, "because that sounds kind of hot and besides, I really don't mind if you're a virgin or that you haven't kissed anyone before." I coughed and pointed a finger at him.

"Correction. I have been kissed. You kissed me? Did you forget that?" I asked. I knew I might have freaked out when I felt his tongue making its way into my mouth, but that was completely unexpected. Magnus smirked and leaned in on me. I couldn't help but lean away, but his hand went behind my neck and he pushed me forward. His tongue caressed his lips making them shiny and wet.

"No, not really", he said and smirked. "How about a reminder?"

I felt my heart starting to beat faster and faster against my chest making me gasp for air. He smirked wider as he leaned in on me. I felt a blush go across my face, making me fist my hand. He was so close and I could feel his bare shoulder against mine. The contact made me jump a bit, letting some of the water from my own hair slip down to my mouth. He leaned in further and titled his head to the side, looking at me with patience. I let my gaze slide down to his lips, seeing the smooth surface and the shiny surface was still visible, making them sparkly and kissable.

"Magnus…" My voice came out in a whisper and I automatically leaned in on him, letting our lips touch. He pushed me harder against him, and our chests touched. His heart was beating fast too, but why? He had probably done this a thousand times, why did he feel so nervous? I tilted my head to the side, trying to taste more of him. I opened my mouth against his, and I heard him moan. It made me want more and I couldn't help but kiss faster and faster. Magnus bucked his head and leaned away from me. His breath was fast and hard and he blinked in surprise.

"Slow down tiger", he said and giggled. "You don't need to force yourself like that. Just take it slow, and just follow my lead. Okay?" I blushed and nodded slowly, when he leaned in on me again. His lips were soft and he moved them slowly against mine. It was like he was taking his time with every single nerve on my lips. Kissing and biting them slowly, making me slowly melt into him. He caught my bottom lip between his lips and sucked gently, making my head fall backwards. He started to trail kisses down my neck and collarbone, and slowly let his tongue zigzag up to my ear. I moaned and let my hands fall down on his hips. He licked my earlobe and I felt a cold breeze against my ear.

"Magnus…" I moaned and I couldn't help but moan every time. He smirked and leaned away to look at me.

"Do you think we're going to fast?" he asked and raised an eyebrow. "I mean last time when I pushed my tongue into your mouth you ran off." I blushed and looked down at my fingers, seeing them play with the hem of his pants.

"I was just surprised. I didn't know that a kiss included tongue", I said, "and now you have been everywhere on my face." Magnus laughed and leaned in on me and gave me a quick kiss.

"You're the cutest", he said and let our noses touch. "Do you want to try with tongue or what?" I shrugged and smiled.

"I would love to try everything"

"Oh don't say that", he said. "I might just show you everything right now." I was about to lean in on him when there was a hard knock on the door. I turned my head and looked over.

"Who's that?"

"Probably some boy scouts selling cookies", he said and was about to kiss me when the person knocked again, even harder.

"I don't think that's boy scouts". Magnus sighed and got up and was about to open the door.

"Alexander! Are you in there?" My eyes widened at the sound of my father's voice. I jumped up from the couch.

"What is he doing here", I whispered and looked panicking over to Magnus who just blinked at my reaction. "He can't see me. He can't know I'm here." I looked around the room; there was no place I could hide. Magnus opened a small closet door and turned to me.

"How about in here?" I walked over to him and looked in. It was a small closet, but it looked like there was just enough space. I walked in and closed the door behind me. Magnus turned around and opened the front door. My dad just walked in without even saying hey, I rolled my eyes.

"Where is my son? I heard his voice", he turned to look at Magnus. Magnus just crossed his arms and shrugged.

"I don't know who your son is, sir", he said and turned around and walked over to the closets door to stand in front of it. My dad turned around to look at Magnus, and I could see his eyes go up and down Magnus's figure. He knew what Magnus was, there was no doubt.

"Who are you? And what are you doing in this house?"

"I'm Magnus Bane", Magnus said with a smile. "And I'm just watching over Mr. Thomson's house for the week." My father nodded and squinted his eyes at Magnus. I gulped and took a step back when I fell over something. I stumbled backwards and felt down on the ground. I heard my father say something and suddenly the door flew open and the sunlight lightened up the small closet. I saw the anger in his eyes, he looked so pissed and his hand reached out for me. I took my hands up to my eyes to cover myself, and tried to ignore what was coming for me.

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**Soo basically I tried to make a cliffhanger at the end. I don't know if it worked out? Well, I hope you're excited for the next chapter :) and we'll finally meet JACE! I had completely forgotten we haven't had the chance to meet him, so he'll be there in the next chapter! Where stuff will happen... good or bad, you'll just have to wait and see ;)**

**Review, because i love it when you do so xx**


	14. Jealousy is my name

**IMPORTANT: Soooooo I got a funny private message. It said I was nominated for ****"Most promising Slash FanFiction"****…. HOLY CRAP! Don't know what it means, but it's awesome! THIS IS THE WEBSITE: **

**Energizewipawards . com - Just without the spaces  
And it's the first wesite, or else just look after blogspot or something.** **And you can VOTE NOW and all the way to November 20****th****. Slash fanfiction focuses on a sexual relationship between fictional characters of the same sex. In my case Malec xx And I don't know who suggested me or something, but thank you so much!**

**So be a sweetheart and go and vote for me (: **

**Okay, well that was it! Thank you so much for reviewing they just keep on getting better and better and I love you all so much for given me confidence in my writing. Even though English isen't my first language, and there might be grammar mistakes and all that! But I hope that those things wont ruin my story/stories, and I hope you still understand everything I try to say heeheh Well then, go on and read! Love you xx**

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**14. Jealousy is my name**

**Magnus'POV**

**My** heart was beating so fast I thought I was going to die. Alec's father was looking straight into the closet, and he just stood there. Didn't he notice Alec? Or was he just waiting to punch me when I least expected it? I blinked and took a step forward.

"Look… sir", I couldn't say anything else. And sir seemed a good way to start. He turned around slowly and I took a step back. He looked a lot like Alec. With his rustled black hair and blue eyes, except his eyes were cold as the winter sky. He turned the whole way around in a fast movement. He looked straight at me with a broken scissor. He was pointing it straight at me and he looked right into my eyes. I gulped and took another step back, I haven't been this scared since the perverted priest, who tried to rape me when I was 13.

"This is my scissor", he said and took a step forward. "Tell Mr. Thomson he owe me a new one." He walked pass me without breaking eye contact. It was only when he went outside he turned around and walked away. I sighed in relief and let my hand go through my hair. I slowly glanced over the closet. I walked with small steps towards it and looked inside. It was dark, with a few coats hanging down and with different garden instruments.

"Alexander?" I whispered and leaned in further. I reached out for the coats, and was about to push them aside, when a hand from the dark grabbed my wrist. I shrieked and jumped backwards.

"Oh my god!" I yelled again and grabbed my wrist. I made a small twirl; feeling like a million small spiders was crawling on me.

"Don't yell like that", a small voice said from the closet. I turned around and looked over, seeing Alec stumble out with a few dust pieces in his hair. He blinked at the hair in his eyes and removed it with his finger. I walked in front of him and slowly looked pass him, into the dark closet. I could sense Alec's eyes on me and he looked slowly behind himself, too.

"Oh yeah", he said. "I think there is a hidden space in there." He bent over and looked in. I blinked and turned my gaze to him. I raised an eyebrow, looking straight at his ass again. Why was it that every time I would look at him his ass was staring at me. Not that I minded. I smirked and slowly walked towards him.

"I can sense a wall", he said and heard him knocking on it. "There is something behind it." I slowly walked behind him and was inches away from his ass. I tried not to giggle, and I slowly let my hands fall down to his hips, barely touching. This felt so wrong, but I couldn't help but doing it. I was about to step back, afraid that I might get hard, which I was slowly doing, when he suddenly took a step back. His ass smacked right into my crotch. I grabbed his hips by reflect and moaned at the feeling.

"Magnus!" Alec shrieked and leaned up fast, almost hitting my face. I blinked and tightened my grip on the hem of his pants. My breath was heavy and I leaned in on him, smelling his hair. I closed my eyes. He smelled so good, like a nice summer breeze. His hair was soft and ticklish, and was touching my face slightly. I let my thump slight down the hem, feeling the softness of his skin. I let my hands move forward slowly, and I felt him shiver.

"Magnus…" he said and I knew he was blushing. "What are you doing?" I moved my hands all the way to his front, and pushed my thump slighter down, feeling the hem of his underwear against my fingertips. I tilted my head to the side and kissed his neck. I could feel his pulse against my lips, waking up every single nerve in my body. I let my lips brush against his neck, again and slowly sucked. I heard him moan and his body leaned in against mine. I sucked harder and I felt his hand grab my right hand.

"Ow, Magnus", he said and felt his head bend down. "Wait…" His voice became a whisper, and I couldn't help but let my tongue lick the skin between my lips. I sucked harder, feeling his body shiver even more, knowing this piece of skin was getting sensitive. I could slowly taste the blood, but I couldn't stop. I wanted more. I needed more. I let my left hand slight under his shirt. His stomach was hard and I could feel the muscles against my fingertips. He was so beautiful. I closed my eyes, only sensing him and hearing him. His voice was low and he moaned beautifully. I felt my hand going up, taking in the shape of his body. He was slim around his torso but strong. I touched every single bit of skin, counting 6 different muscles. I moaned against his neck, trying to imaging the sight of him naked in front of me. The boy had a fucking six-pack, how the hell did he get that? I was right underneath his breast, when his head fell down on my shoulder. His breath was heavy and his grip tightened around my hand.

"Please… wait", he whispered and I opened my eyes, seeing his eyes flutter. "Stop…" I blinked and stopped sucking, missing the feeling of his skin. I looked down, seeing teeth marks deep down his skin. It was red and punctured, letting a small amount of blood pop up in different places. I might have over done it. I let my hand slight out of his shirt and used the hand to grab his.

"Alec, I'm sorry", I said and took a step back, feeling his head leave my shoulder. He turned around and looked at me with a blush on his cheeks. He was so adorable, and I couldn't help but smile. He let his hand touch his neck and cupped the soon to become one big hickey.

"Don't apologize", he said and looked up at me. His blue eyes sparkled and for a moment I saw a sparkle of lust in those embarrassed eyes.

"Yeah I really should-", I said and sighed. "-I should have stopped the first time you told me to. I just couldn't." Alec frowned and took a step forward, stopping when he saw I took another step backwards.

"Why couldn't you?" he asked and blinked one more time. His eyes looked watery, and they looked like the ocean in my dream. The water on the beach my mother used to take me to. I couldn't help but gulp at the sight. He looked hurt and so innocent. I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I was afraid that I might not be able to take my hand away. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Magnus?" I heard him say and I felt him getting closer. I kept my eyes closed and I felt his hand on my shoulder. "Magnus are you okay?" I stumbled backwards, and I felt my cheeks burning. Was I blushing? Oh my god, I let my hands go up to my cheeks, I'm actually blushing.

"Why are you avoiding me?" he said his voice steady and I finally looked at him.

"I'm not", I said and let my hands fall down. "It's not you it's me." I felt my pants getting abnormally tighter.

"What do you mean?" he said and looked completely clueless. I let my hands fall down to my crotch and slowly intertwined them together.

"Well, if you must know", I said, "I'm slightly turned on right on." He wrinkled his forehead and looked at me like what I was saying was in Chinese.

"What do you mean by that?" I gaped and blinked in surprise.

"Are you serious?" I said and couldn't help but laugh a bit. "Nobody is that innocent." Alec slowly let his eyes slight down and I saw him blush when he saw my hands over my crotch.

"Oh…" he said and looked up at me. "Turned on. What for?" his voice seemed nervous and he looked down again.

"Because of you, darling", I said and laughed. "Kissing and touching you, I mean I couldn't help but get a little hard. And must I say you moan beautifully." Alec blushed even more and looked up at me.

"I erm… thank you, I guess", he said and smiled hesitantly. I shook my head and smiled.

"Why do you sound so surprised?" Alec shrugged and touched the hem of his shirt.

"It's just, nothing like this has ever happened to me before", he said and looked down again. "I have never had anyone looking at me before, wanting me and especially not getting turned on by me. This is so weird." He giggled like a little schoolboy. I took a step forward and touched his wrists, stopping his fidgeting.

"See, I don't understand that", I said and touched his knuckles slowly. "I mean just look at you. You're unbelievable beautiful and even more…" I leaned over and let my lips brush against his ear, "sexy." Alec's eyes widened but he didn't push me away.

"You're the sexiest person I have ever seen. You're so sweet and innocent, it's so damn hot", I whispered, hearing him gulp. "You have no idea how fucking cute you are and what you do to me. I've never wanted a person so badly, it's actually painful. I want you, Alexander. Do you want me, too?" I felt myself getting harder by every word I said. I looked down seeing the bulge getting bigger and harder. I bit my bottom lip, because the pain was just bearable. I felt Alec's cheek against mine. It almost felt like he was feeling sorry for me, and I really didn't needed any compassion at this moment.

"I…" he's voice came out in a shaky whisper, "I…" I felt his fingers touch mine, sending shivers down my back. This boy is going to be the death of me. I took a deep breath and inhaled.

"Alec!" a voice yelled in the back. "Hey!" I didn't want to get out of his grip. He was so warm and soft. His fingers never left mine and his cheek stayed on mine. He was really warm and I felt my body getting even more heated up. So not what I needed.

"Alec!" the voice got closer, and before I knew it, Alec pushed me away. He blushed even more and looked behind me. I slowly turned my head and saw a blond guy coming up the stairs.

"Hey, dad's looking for you", he said and stopped when he saw me. "Who are you?" I raised an eyebrow and looked at him more closely. His blond hair was messy, and his eyes were golden and narrowed. He was wearing a dark green t-shirt with a black vest over. His pants were black and tight with boots. He would actually look hot if it wasn't for his arrogant posture. And then again he wasn't really my type, he looked like trouble.

"Jace", Alec said and walked pass me and hugged the boy. I frowned and saw how their arms held each other tight. I wish he could hold me like that, without getting freaked out. They stepped out of each other's embrace and Alec turned around to look at me.

"Magnus, this is my brother", he said with a big smile, "Jace." I frowned and looked at them both, from Alec to Jace and back again. Alec was taller and more slender then Jace. Jace was a little shorter and muscular. Alec had black hair and blue eyes, while the other boy was all golden. They didn't look anything alike.

"I know what you're thinking", Jace said, getting my attention. "We don't look alike and all. That's because I'm the wonder child, I was born under special circumstances."

"Yeah", I said and shook my head. "I don't see anything special." Jace looked at me, like it was the first time he really saw me.

"Who the hell are you anyway?"

"Jace…" Alec said and grabbed his shoulder.

"I'm Magnus", I said and smirked. "Magnus Bane." Jace frowned and laughed a bit. "What's so funny, wonder boy?"

"Your name, that's all"

"Oh yeah", I said and took a step forward. "And Jace is so much better"

"It's short for Jonathan", he said. "You douche." I raised an eyebrow and started to laugh.

"You do realize you just called me a female hygiene product", I said and shook my head.

"What?" he said and looked confused.

"_Such_ an idiot", I said and crossed my arms. I saw Alec look over at me, like he begged me to stop.

"Who do you call an idiot?" He said. "Assfucker!"

"Really? Great comeback", I said and took a step towards him. "Since it's true, it doesn't really count as an insult." Jace blinked, but he didn't look surprised.

"Who is this guy, Alec?" he asked and turned to Alec. I looked over at Alec, but he didn't look at me, his gaze was glued to the ground.

"He's nobody, Jace", he said and grabbed his wrist. "Let's just go." I looked at Alec´s hand touching Jace's, and in some way I felt angry and betrayed.

"Yeah, that's right", I said and straightened myself up. "I'm nobody." Alec looked surprised at me and blinked. He looked hurt but he didn't say anything so I guess it didn't mattered.

"Then who are you?" Jace asked ignoring Alec's attempt to get away. "What are you doing in Mr. Thomson's house?"

"Mr. Thomson is my special friend", I said and walked towards them and they both took a few steps backwards. "I'm just taking care of his house while he's out. I must say I miss him badly. I miss his big cock inside me, thrusting so hard, taking it all the way in. I miss his mouth and his tongue around my hard dick, sucking so hard until I come. But right now, I can only use Mr. Big, which is his pink dildo. I need something inside me and I don't care if it's a piece of toy, as long as it's _something_." I smiled and I saw them both looking at me like I was crazy.

"Are you serious?" Jace said and snorted. "That's disgusting, Mr. Thomson is like 40." I smiled wryly and let my gaze land on Alec. He looked at me, all wide eyed and he seemed speechless.

"I like them old and mature", I said, "and at least I'm somebody to him" and I kept my eyes on Alec. Alec opened his mouth and blinked like he was trying to control himself. He was about to say something, when I smacked the door close right in their faces. I sighed and looked up at the closed door. I just acted like a completely immature jealous teenage.

"Fuck!" I yelled and stomped hard on the ground with my right food. I took my hands up to my head and shook it. I seriously just screwed everything up. I looked down seeing my hard on, gone.

"Just what I needed", I said. "You could at least have been on my side!" I yelled while looking down at my crotch. "What the hell am I supposed to do now?" I sighed and looked up at the door again. It was like I just broke up with Alec, without really going out with him in the first place. Those things I said, they must have been painful, saying I like them old and mature, which he is not. I sighed and leaned against the door, with my back. This was going to need a lot of alcohol, lots of it. And maybe later I can go over and say I'm sorry. Maybe.

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**So, Magnus being jealous is actually a bit funny. And Jace coming ruining Malec time, sucks! But I'll make it up to you in the next chapter! Jace was a bit OOC, I guess when he's around Magnus he gets a little childish. Oh well, there will be some Alec and Jace bonding time in the next chapter = Jalec (L) And later, in the middle of the night, a drunken Magnus will come as Romeo through the window after his Juliet (Alec) *hint *hint! I don't know if you get it, but I think you do. I don't know why I'm going all Romeo and Juliet on you, I guess it's because I'm in school, learning about Shakespeare….**

**Okay end of A/N**

**OH! Don't forget to review and how about 10 reviews and I'll work fast and try my hardest to get it out next week! I'm like half through chapter.15**


	15. Small pieces of stones

**Happy new year! 2013! I know it's been awhile, but I just wanted to post this chapter to wish you all a happy new year! And I wanted to tell you all how much appreciate you guys reading this story, and I hope you will keep up with the amazing support even though I'm so damn slow with the updating! Love you all and once again happy new year!**

**Enjoy!**

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**15. Small pieces of stones**

**J**ace let himself fall down on my bed and sighed. I closed the door behind me and walked over to the edge of the bed and sat down. I bit my bottom lip and touched my fingers, still feeling Magnus's on mine. It was burning and it tickled every time I would touch the places he had been.

"Hey you", Jace and got up on his elbows. "Are you okay?" I turned to look at him and smiled while letting my fingers go.

"Yes, of course", I said and looked away and grabbed my knees with both hands. Jace frowned and sat up and pushed me by my shoulder.

"Is it because of dad?" he asked and made me look at him again. "Dad didn't let you go to school today, why? And why is he so angry with you and Izzy?"

"Izzy", I said and my eyes went wide. "Is she okay?" Jace furrowed his eyebrows.

"Yeah, why wouldn't she be?" he asked and crawled his way to my side. "What happened? You've been acting weird. What did dad do to you?"

"He did the usual."

"Beating you?" He asked and touched my shoulder. "I don't see any bruises, though."

"Jace, just let it go", I said and got up and turned to look at him. "It doesn't matter. It's in the past."

"Why won't you tell me what's wrong?" He said and swung his feet down on the ground and looked up at me. He looked at me just like the day he had stopped dad from almost killing me with his beating. He looked scared and angry. And I was scared and angry too, more than I have ever been. And it was all because of everything, and everything around me made me angry and scared. The way my dad treats us, Valentine and how he touched me and spoke in such a cold voice, filled with no regret or remorse. And Magnus, the way he had looked hurt when I had called him a, _nobody_, because he was far from a nobody. He was the difference of the everything I just felt; he made me feel secure and happy.

"I can't tell you. Not yet", I said and tried to smile. "Just trust me on this. I'll tell you soon enough." Jace frowned and got up and walked over to my desk, playing with a few pencils.

"That's what Izzy told me to", he said and turned to look at me and shook his head. "Are you guys having a secret sibling thing or what? I thought I was your brother and best friend, but right now I don't feel like anything to you." I gasped and raised my eyebrows. I knew what he meant. He once had felt like an outsider because he was adoptive, but no matter what, he would still be my brother. Blood doesn't need to tell you something like that. I shook my head with my mouth opened, and blinked, like I was trying to keep invisible tears away.

"Don't say that", I said. "It's just complicated."

"It must be really complicated if you can't tell me", he said and crossed his arms. "Has it something to do with Valentine?" I blinked more and frowned. "And that meeting you had with dad and Valentine?" He interrupted; making me froze at the spot.

"Wha-What do you mean?" I asked and gulped.

"Max told me. How Valentine was groping you in the hallway?"

"Groping? Max said that?"

"Not those exact words, but that's what he meant. And he said he heard screams", Jace walked towards me and stopped a few breaths away from me. "What. Did. Dad. Do to you?" I tried to speak but my mouth wouldn't say a word.

"You can't force me to tell you", I said and shook my head and looked down. "I just need you to trust me on this."

"I do trust you", he said and let his arms fall down his side. "I just don't trust your decisions." I smiled and bit my bottom lip.

"Sometimes we learn from our mistakes and maybe I'll learn from this one", I said and sat down again and looked up at him. His golden eyes were narrowed and they looked curious, and I knew he wasn't going to go easy on me.

"That Magnus guy was really special", he said and let himself fall down on the chair behind him. "The way he was looking at you, it looked like he was going to eat you or something." I blushed and looked down at my knees. "And those things he said. I mean, what was up with that?"

"He was just hurt", I mumbled and let a hand go through my hair and sighed. "And those things you said were cruel. You shouldn't have said that."

"He didn't seem to mind. He kept pushing me and he even said I was right", Jace said and let his elbow lean on the desk and settled his head in his palms. "And I would say you were the cruel one. It was after you spoke he went all maniac on us." I nodded and bit my bottom lips, remembering that Magnus had said that every time I bit my bottom lip was when I was nervous. I was nervous all the time.

"I didn't mean to hurt him", I said and sighed at Magnus hurt face, once more. "But it doesn't matter anyway. He's a stranger."

"Doesn't seem that way", Jace said and lifted his head away from his palm. "You two seemed pretty close. I saw the way you two were holding each other."

"How can it be, you're asking me questions when it seems like you already know the answers?" I asked and got up from the bed. I felt my voice and breath getting shaky and I couldn't help but hug myself.

"I don't know what you're talking about", Jace said and straightened himself up with a smile. "Tell me? What am I talking about?"

"You're such an ass, Jace", I said and rolled my eyes. "Magnus is not the way you think he is. And you had no right to call him those things you called him."

"And you had no right to call him a nobody, when he's clearly not a nobody to you."

"To hell with you Jace!" I yelled, not knowing why I yelled. I was telling him that I cared for Magnus, and it was to much for me.

"I'm already in hell", he said in a low voice, but smiled at me slowly. "I hate being lonely and isolated. From you. From Izzy. Without you two and Max of course. I'm not even sure I would be here. I hate this hellhole and I guess the only way I think I can survive is by being cruel to people. But I'm just pushing people away and I'm pushing you away right now. I'm pushing you into something, you clearly don't want out, and I'm sorry. I just feel sort of left out, I guess." I sighed and shook my head. I hate the way he could use his words and every time he finally got all sentimental he would make my heartbeat faster and I would feel bad about myself.

"Magnus..." I looked up at him, right into his golden eyes. "Magnus is nothing_ yet_. I don't know what's going on between us. I'm confused and I'm scared because of dad, Valentine and myself. I don't know what to do when I'm around him because I have never felt anything like this before for anyone. And you must be really grossed out right now, because this is not normal. A boy liking another boy."

"What's normal?" Jace said with a small laugh. "As far as I know, when you like someone, or love someone it's completely normal. Because those feelings are normal. So, does it matter that it's someone you didn't expect it to be? Or someone different? I'm not grossed out, why would I? You're my big brother and I love you -" he stopped and smiled, "- not like that though, but you know what I mean. So can I shut up now? Because I feel kind of grossed out of my own sentimentality."

"Yeah, you can stop now", I said and smiled and saw his proud posture. He was happy he finally got his will. Like always. "Thanks by the way. For not... hating me or anything."

"I would never hate you", Jace said and walked towards me and grabbed my shoulder. "Oh by the way, I should be thanking you. Clary finally spoke to me. She told me you have talked to her and convinced her to talk to me. And we have a date tomorrow." I blinked and nodded. It didn't seem like Clary had told him their entire conversation, but right now he couldn't ruin this moment. Jace let his hand drop and he walked towards the door and grabbed the handle. As he was halfway through the door, he turned around.

"Sooooo, have you two-", he said and grinned. "Done the dirty?"

"Wha- no", I said and blushed.

"Alright big brother", he said and smiled and just as I thought I had gotten rid of him. "Just make sure to be top. Or else it will be a pain in the ass. Literally." And the door closed.

**XxXxX**

I had eaten in my room, not feeling very social at the moment. And no one questioned me, so it was easy for me to sneak a plate of food to my room. It had started to get darker and darker, and I knew I soon had to wake up for school. I sighed and leaned up from my bed and got up looking out the window. I had a small view towards Mr. Thomson's house and I could see that the light was still on. I couldn't help but wonder what he was doing right now. I touched the buttons on my blue pyjamas and opened a few of them, taking a deep breath. I could still feel his breath against my neck, feeling how warm and cold it was on the same time. How it would give me shivers and how it would make my heart skip a beat. I closed my eyes and let my hand run over my throat, over the spots he had touched. My whole body started to shiver and I opened my eyes, looking over at the house, seeing the lights off. I let myself fall down on my bed again and looked up at the ceiling. My room was so dark and the only light was the light blue colour from the moon. I turned my head and looked at my room, and I felt my hands travel down my shirt; unbutton every single button until I was naked. I felt my skin underneath my fingers. How cold it was and I could feel my stomach rise and fall, every second, and it was completely out of control. I blinked and closed my eyes slowly, and I felt my fingertips down by my pants' waistband and I slowly lifted up the elastic. My hand slowly made it's way down my pants and I couldn't help but gasp for air. I hadn't even touched myself and I was already feeling hot.

"Oh my god", I moaned and shook my head. My body was completely out of control and I was scared of the feelings I felt. Feelings I had never experienced before and I had no control of my breaths, my movements or my body. I slowly let my hands get closer and I felt something wet and I opened my eyes. I let my hand slide up again and I took my hand up in the moonlight, seeing something glistening in the blue light. I blinked at the sight; I had no idea if this was called an orgasm. I hadn't really felt anything and I wasn't really sure if this was sperm because it wasn't that thick and white, it was sort of thin and the colour was wrong. I sat down and looked down at my hand and it felt like I had been looking at it for a while when I heard some weird noises against my window. I turned my head and looked over, seeing a few small rocks flying against my window. I furrowed my eyebrows and automatically cleaned my hands in my pants, got up and slowly opened my window. I felt the cold night breeze and it was fresh and smelled like mint.

"Hello?" I said slowly and looked down and my eyes widened. "Magnus?" He was wearing different clothing again. How many times could a man chance his clothing? He was wearing white and black stripe pants, with old boots and a light blue shirt. His hair was a mess and he was out of balance. He smiled at and he waved.

"Hey Alexander", he said and his voice was slurred and he seemed drunk. "What are you doing at this wonderful evening?" I blushed and shook my head.

"Erm, I'm not doing anything wonderful", I said. Magnus nodded and walked a little closer to my house's wall.

"I can make it wonderful", he said and giggled and tried to grab the pipe, but missed and his fingers scrapped the wall. He whimpered and looked down at his fingers. "Damn I broke a nail."

"Magnus, what are you doing here?" I tried to whisper but my voice echoed into the night. Magnus shrugged and looked up at me.

"I came to say I'm sorry", he said and smiled. "For being stupid and pathetic. I'm the oldest and I acted like a teenage boy and I apologize. That was far from mature of me."

"And this is better?" I asked but couldn't help but laugh. "Why didn't you just call?"

"Because I wanted to see you", he said and grabbed the pipe. "And I missed you", and he started to crawl up the pipe. My eyes widened and I leaned over the window and looked down at him more closely. There wasn't that long to my window, only a few crawls and you were there. Magnus let his food enter a small hole there was in my wall and stretched himself and grabbed the windowsill. I grabbed his wrists and tried to pull him in, but he was so heavy and didn't try to help. I had gotten him over the windowsill and he was hanging there with his head down. He looked up and his head was red and he gave me a thumb up.

"Don't mind me, I'm just hanging out here for a while", he said and his voice sounded a little different, maybe it was because of the alcohol and the blood going to his head. I sighed and grabbed the hem of his pants and pulled him all the way in. He fell down on the floor with a bump and he gasped. I closed the window and walked to his front and felt down on my knees in front of him.

"Magnus?" I asked gently and let my hand stroke his hair. It was soft and silky, just the way I had pictured it. His head was buried in the floor and he was moaning weird noises, and he slowly looked up. His eyes were blinking and they seemed out of control. His pupils were dilated and he had drool rolling down his chin. I laughed and I let my hand cup his face and I let my thump go over the drool, making is disappear. Magnus blinked, but he kept his eyes locked with mine.

"How nice of you", he said and giggled and got up from the floor and leaned against the bed. I got up from the floor at the same time and walked in front and saw the way his head was tilting side to side, like he couldn't control it and it was too heavy. He finally looked up at me and his eyes slowly travelled down my body, and he raised his eyebrows.

"Did I interrupt something?" He asked and pointed at me. I blinked and looked down, seeing my bare chest. I blushed and quickly covered myself by holding the shirt together.

"No", I said, "I was just feeling hot so I-" I trailed of as Magnus started to get up on his feet. He kept his eyes on my chest and took a step towards me.

"Hot, huh?" He asked and he let a finger travel down in the middle of my chest, letting me let go of the shirt so it felt down by my side. His finger trailed down my stomach and stopped right by my bellybutton. He slowly traced it by making circles around it and I couldn't help but shiver at the feeling. He let his eyes meet mine and he smiled again.

"Hot you are, my sweet, sweet Alexander", he leaned in on me and I leaned away and his head landed on my chest. I blinked when I felt myself getting pushed a step back and slapped his shoulders gently.

"Magnus?" I asked and pushed him away and he looked completely gone with his eyes closed. I slowly walked with him over to my bed and let him sit down on the edge and I was about to walk away to get him some water, when he grabbed my wrist and pulled me down on top of him. I gasped in surprise and I felt against him and he fell all the way down on the bed and I landed on top of him. I leaned up and looked down at his golden eyes. They looked more awake than before and he smiled at me. I smiled slowly and leaned up and he leaned up with me, grabbing my hips to make sure I didn't move. He slowly looked down at me again and raised a single eyebrow, making me gulp.

"Well look at that", he said and looked up at me. "It surely looks like I did interrupt something." My eyes widened and I looked down, seeing my hard on poking him in the stomach.

"Erm, I can explain that-" he grabbed both of my wrists and pulled me closer, so we were only a breath away.

"There is no need to explain that, darling", he said and looked down again. "I'd rather you didn't explain and let me help you with that." He looked up again and smirked.

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**I know I keep ending things by the good stuff! But trust me this is'nt a cliffhanger there will dissapoint you! I will finally give the M rated hot stuff in the next and next and so on! So I hoped it was good and you guys enyojed it! Review and be a sweetheart and tell me about your thought! I wanted to ask you what kind of M rated stuff you wanted in the next chapter, but I'm not so sure if I can do that because I know what you want hahaha**

**REVIEW! Lots of love! **


	16. Moonlight kisses

**Thank you so much for the reviews and fav adding! Much appreciated! SO... here is you're deserved smut and this chapter is full of it! So have a nice weekend and I love you guys!  
**

**Enjoy**

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**16. Moonlight kisses**

**I** was breathing hard, and I felt Alec's hands starting to shake. I slowly released his wrists and I scooted a little closer, letting him come between my legs. I locked my legs around his waist and leaned a little further. Alec blinked and looked down, and I could tell he was embarrassed.

"There is nothing to be embarrassed about, darling", I said and touched his soft cheek. "It's a very normal thing. It can happen to the best of us." Alec shook his head and looked up at me.

"This is terrible!" He said and looked like he was about to have a panic attack, and now I wasn't even sure he had noticed what position we were sitting in. "This never happens. This has never happened. I don't-" He sighed and looked up at me, with those distressed blue eyes. "- I don't know what to do." I chuckled and leaned in closer, letting our cheeks touch.

"I do", I whispered against his ear and I felt him shudder. I slowly licked the edge of his ear, and I felt him slowly move away. He didn't move far, just enough for our mouths nearly touch. I looked down at those perfect pink and full lips, and I couldn't help but lick my bottom lip. I wanted to kiss them again so badly, because I missed the nervous and gentle touch they had. I was about to lean in when he stopped me by putting a hand against my chest. I was about to protest, when he slowly leaned in, surprising me. I gasped when our lips touched and my eyes went wide. His eyes were closed and his hand was on my cheek, and like reflex his thump caressed my cheekbone. His mouth opened slowly and closed just as slowly over my bottom lip. He moved his head to the right and moved his mouth against mine very gently. I closed my eyes and followed his lead. I didn't want to push him into something he didn't want. He kissed me and it seemed like he wanted to be in control and I let him. He started out slow, by only nipping and sucking on my bottom lip, and I did the same. It had been awhile since I had kissed anyone like this and it felt amazing. It felt like a connection was created between us and our lips were getting used to each other. The only problem was, now, I wanted more. I was about to take control, probably ruining the moment, when Alec's tongue darted out to caress the line of my lips. I moaned in surprise opening my mouth, giving Alec access and his tongue slipped in. I couldn't help but smile, feeling even more excited, that this sweet innocent boy was finally opening up. I let my tongue dance with his and I slowly let my tongue caress his, making him moan. His moans were like small vibrations, sending a surreal amount of butterflies through me, making the experience even better. And I could feel it even more, when I rolled my hips towards Alec's erection, feeling my own hard on. I moaned against Alec's lips even more, and I grabbed his hips pulling him closer towards me. I kept on rolling our hard erection up against each other, and I could feel Alec moan in pleasure as his lips disconnected with mine and his head fell backwards. Alec was breathing hard, as I kept on rolling against him, but he didn't seem to mind when I saw him licking his lips. This turned me on even more and I leaned forward kissing and nipping on the heated skin on his throat. I could feel how hot he was and my lips just melted into his skin, sucking on the spot right above his Adam's apple. I stopped rolling against him, and let my hands slide down from his hips to the hem of his pants. I kept sucking and nipping on his skin, and as I slipped my thump underneath the fabric I opened my eyes to see if there was any disagreement. I felt something brush against my thump. It felt like a scar. Alec's eyes were tightly closed and his mouth was slightly open, letting out a hard breathing. I slowly grabbed the pants hem and pulled down, and with another surprise Alec leaned up, making it easier for me to push the pants all the way down. I was going to enjoy this, no doubt, so I was taking full advances on his position. Without pushing the pants all the way down, I stopped right underneath his glorious and muscular V. I started to kiss further down, and went slowly when I reached his chest. I could feel every muscle underneath the soft and heated skin, and it was amazing how muscular a boy like him could be. I darted out my tongue and slightly touched the top of his nipple, and I felt him gasp.

"Magnus…mmm", his hand gripped my hair and he tucked it slightly. I started to lick slowly, and circulated around it and I felt his breathing getting stronger, as his chest went up and down. Alec's hand slowly left my hair and he pulled down his shirt, letting the fabric slide down his bare and strong arms. I moaned against his nipple, and it felt like a dream and I never wanted it to end. Alec's hand went back to my hair and he grabbed it hard and pushed himself against me. I opened my mouth around his nipple and started to suck slightly on it and then taking the nipple between my teeth and let my tongue caress the top slowly. I bit down making Alec moan even harder.

"Oww…" he moaned. "What are you doing?" His voice came out in hard breaths and he could barely say one word without taking a deep breath first. I felt sorry for him and I started to kiss up again, and captured his lips. In a fast movement I tucked his pants all the way down to his knees. I wanted to stop kissing him and take in the glorious sight in front of me, but I wanted all of him, and I couldn't let go of this luscious lips I had been longing for so long. I let my finger slide up his inner thigh. Alec gasped and pushed away from me and looked at me with lustful eyes. He looked surprised and I didn't know if it was because he hadn't noticed I had taken of his pants or that he was actually in a position like this and liking it. I ran my finger all the way up between his legs and touched his balls slightly. Alec's eyes went wide and he blushed and looked away. I smiled and my other hand went under his chin to move his head towards me. His blue eyes went crystal clear in the moonlight and the blush around his cheeks was brightening.

"There is no need to be embarrassed, baby", I leaned in and captured his lips slightly. "I wouldn't do anything you wouldn't like and you can always tell me to stop." Alec nodded and leaned in and kissed me again. I let my hand slide down from his chin and down to his hip and pushed him closer to me and I could feel his hard erection poke against mine. My other hand let it's fingers slide up to his hard length and I touched it slightly, letting my fingers slide all the way from the base to the top, making Alec shiver. I loved how sensitive he was, and how my every movement made him shudder. I slowly grabbed his hard erection and let my hand roll down his foreskin. My hand went on with this slowly and I could feel pre-cum leaking down on my knuckles. Alec moaned as I kept rolling the skin up and down.

"Oh… God", he moaned and his eyes closed shut and he bit his bottom lip. I was afraid the sight of him would make me come. I started going faster and faster and I could feel his dick getting more slippery and I could finally swirl it around with my palm and I could see this made Alec go crazy. He moaned louder and he grabbed my shoulder, not to push me back but for support.

"Magnus… mmm, this-" He moaned harder, when I started to go faster and when I tightened my grip to make one hard stroke all the way down to the base, Alec was gone. He screamed and his head fell back and I felt his come slide down his length and my hand. "Fuck…" he moaned and his head came up and his eyes looked all dazed and out of focus. He looked down and saw his sperm all over my hand and himself and he blushed.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize-", he said and stopped.

"Realize what?"

"That I was able to do that", he said and let a hand slide behind his back. I chuckled and slid my hand up and down my shirt to clean it.

"What do you mean? Have you never had an orgasm?" He shook his head. "Touched yourself?" He shook his head again. My eyes went wide, was he serious? I looked at him closer, and saw the surprise in his eyes and his body all covered in sweat from just a hand job. Oh, he was serious.

"What about you?" He asked and made me snort.

"Oh, darling. Been there done that, many times", I said and winked at him. He smiled and shook his head.

"No, you", he said and pointed hesitantly down. "You're still… hard."

"I can take care of this myself", I said and started to unbuckle my belt and open up my pants.

"Wow! Wow, are you going to do it now?" Alec's eyes went wide and he looked at me with disbelief.

"Well, darling, you can't be that cruel that I have to stand in the middle of the cold bathroom jerking myself off, alone?" I raised an eyebrow. "Besides, I think you in front of me will make it even faster for me to get it done with." Alec didn't say anything, only watched as I slowly pushed my pants and underwear down, letting my erection sprung free. I moaned in pleasure and grabbed it hard. It was already slippery from the pre-cum that was leaking down. I started to pump it up and down, fast and hard. I moaned and clenched my lips together holding my moans back in my throat. Alec slowly let his gaze slide down and I could see he watched me jerking myself off. I smirked at the image in front of me and slowly let my hand slide down from the head to the base.

"Fuuuuc-" I hissed and closed my eyes. I pulled my hand up my length hard, and stopped right by my leaking head and let my thump slide over the sensitive skin. I moaned out loud and let my thump slip over my dickhead multiple times. I opened my eyes and looked at Alec, seeing him still looking down at me.

"You can touch me if you want" I moaned and slowly reached for his wrist. Alec looked up at me and only gulped. I took that as an I-could-try-but-I-might-not-get-anything-gulp. His hand was hesitant and I saw him blush as his fingers caressed my length. I let go of his wrist and looked at him, as he was very focused on my lower region. I felt his fingers against my length and they nervously, started to go up and down. He started to slowly grab it and he started to move up and down. I could feel he had no idea what he was doing, but because it was him and because he looked so fucking adorable, I felt like I was about to burst. His hand went all the way up to my head, pushing my hand away. I leaned back a little, making it easier for him, and grabbed the sheets with my hands. He started very slow and went all the way to the top and down to the base.

"Harder, Alexander" I moaned and I saw his eyes glanced over at me and he complied instantly. His grip went from gentle to hard and I moaned in pain and gripped the sheets tighter. I didn't want to tell him he was being too hard, afraid that I might scare him off. He started to pump my hard erection up and down and did just like I had done a few minutes ago. From the top down to the base, gripping hard and he even swirled it once. My back ached and my grip went tighter and I could feel my nails digging through the sheets into my palm.

"Yesssss" I hissed and looked up at him seeing him being much focused on what he was doing. "Faster-" I breathed and tried to get up, but as I felt two fingers caress the sensitive skin on my dickhead, I felt down the bed, breathing hard. "Mother of fucking God!" And I felt myself release. I gasped and took my hand through my hair and looked up at Alec. He looked surprised and blinked looking at his hand. I smirked and got up, finally being able to sit in front of him again. I grabbed his wrist, and let my tongue slide up his ring finger, tasting my sperm. Alec blushed and gulped looking very curious at me. As I neared the end of his finger, I licked my upper lip and leaned in on him giving him one final kiss. I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him down on top of me, kissing him for I don't know how long. But I remembered those luscious lips against mine for a very long time and when the time was right I could finally let go.

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**Uh I love sweet and innocent Alec, who has no idea what the hell is going! It's kind of funny! Well, I hope I did good on the smut and it was hot enough for ya! (; Did I make any of you guys nose bleed a little? *handing tissue box  
****Review and tell me how much you looooved it, because I know you do! And i might put another smut scene in the next chapter!  
And to answer a few questions on like why Magnus didn't see Alec's scar. It's because it was sort of dark int he room, and Magnus was mostly focused on Alec's face and he never looked down really... BUT he did feel something when he touched, which he describes as a scar.  
And with the whole sibling thing... wether anybody heard anything or nothing, we'll just have to wait and see (;  
xxx  
**

**P.s sorry for my very short A/N, but I'm in a hurry, I just wanted to post this for you guys (L)**


	17. In the morning

**Yay! An update! I finally pulled myself together and corrected every single mistake in this chapter, well those I could find! This is a long one but you deserve it! Thank you so much for the sweet reviews and everything, makes my day AND it made me write chapter 18 which is finished, but only need editing.**

**Enjoy**

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**17. In the morning**

**I** opened my eyes slowly and blinked when the sunlight blinded my eyes. I groaned and was about to get up when I felt an arm around my waist. I blinked and looked down seeing a lean, tanned and long arm over my waist. I blushed and looked to my right, seeing Magnus cuddled to my side. His face was near my chest and I felt his cold breath against my bare skin. He had no shirt on, just like me but his skin was dark and toned in a sophisticated way. His hair was messy and sticking out and falling down his face. I slowly let my hand slide across his cheek and removed his hair, seeing his eyelids flutter but he didn't wake up. He murmured something and tightened his grip around me, making me gasp. I felt my cheeks getting all red and my head was about to explode. I couldn't help but think about last night. About all those things we did and all those weird noises coming out of my mouth. I took a hand up to my mouth and blushed even more. I had been so loud and I hadn't even thought about the other people sleeping right down the hall and next to me. There was no way they couldn't have heard all of that. But I have never felt so great pleasure and the way his hands travelled down my body; how gentle his fingers and grip was and he knew exactly what to do to make me ache in ecstasy. I lifted the duvet and saw my naked body and saw how sticky my hip was. I gulped and looked down at Magnus again. He was sound asleep and didn't seem to notice that I was awake. He looked very peacefull and beautiful without all his makeup on. He looked like a young boy who didn't seem to worry about anything. His breathing was steady and silent and his chest was raising and falling slowly. I smiled a little and touched his cheek again slowly and it felt like he was leaning into my touch and he smiled. I thought he was awake for a brief second, but he didn't open his eyes and his breathing remained the same. I let my fingers brush his cheekbone and let it travel down to his lips. They were soft and pink, and I could feel a little bit of the gloss he had worn sticking at my fingertip. I leaned down and slowly let my lips touch his. It was a light touch and it was only the tip of our lips. I closed my eyes, only sensing his breathing and the softness of his lips. I let my fingers slide down his throat and down to his collarbone. I traced the line of his collarbone with a finger and leaned away, looking down at him. His body was amazing. He was slender, but still muscular. His chest was hairless and soft and I just couldn't help but touch him. He moaned when my hand touched his chest and he rolled over, so he was facing me. I had a clear view and I couldn't help but blush. I felt like freaky pervert, the way I was looking at him and touching him. But I couldn't help myself. I needed him and earned for him, and it scared the hell out of me. I sighed and let my hand slide down his side. His hip was small and he almost looked like he had a girl's figure. I couldn't help but push away the duvet a little bit, revealing his bellybutton. My eyes widened. There was a small blue rock shining in his belly button. He actually had a belly button piercing and I actually even it. I blinked and forced my hand away from him, like I finally realized what was going on. There was a naked man in my room, lying next to me, at my home, in my room and I was naked too. But the worst part was that I was getting really hot and I felt myself getting rock hard. I was about to get up when someone grabbed my wrist and I shrieked when I was pulled back down. I gasped and my eyes had closed themselves shut. I felt something heavy crawl its way on top of me and I slowly opened my eyes seeing, Magnus' amazing green eyes staring down at me. He smiled and grabbed my other hand. Holding my hands by their wrist, he pushed them down next to my head. I blinked and gulped. He leaned down and touched my nose with his.

"I never told you to stop touching me", he said and smiled, making me blush.

"Wait… no… what?" I stammered and tried to come up with something good to say when he leaned down and kissed me. My eyes widened when I felt his lips move slowly against mine. This was something I had to get used to. My eyes began to slowly close and I kissed him back, letting myself go once more. I leaned into the kiss. His tongue started to caress my bottom lip and made it's way into mine, caressing my tongue. I shivered and started to move my tongue against his. He started to moan and I opened my eyes again. He looked so beautiful like this. He looked so vulnerable. I closed my eyes again and I felt a little braver, biting down his bottom lips. He shivered and finally he let my wrists go and cupped my face. I grabbed his shoulders and turned my head to the side, trying to do whatever we did yesterday and what I've seen in the movies. Though this was more amazing than a movie, this felt so right and so good. I let my hand travel down his arms, and down to his hips and grabbed him hard, moving him forward and I felt our erections slide against each other. Magnus let my lips go with a smack and starred down at me in surprise.

"What are you doing Alexander?" He asked but smirked.

"Honestly?" I said and couldn't help but smile a little. "I have no idea." Magnus giggled and bit his button lip and leaned down and kissed me slowly.

"You're so adorable", he said and laughed against my lips. "But I think we need to stop, because I might not be able to stop myself."

"Well… then don't stop", I said and blushed. Magnus raised an eyebrow but he didn't seem to protest and leaned down again, and didn't wait for another sweet make out session. He dipped his tongue into my mouth and consumed me right on the spot. I felt my lips taking in his and we moved our heads to either side constantly. I touched the skin on his hips slightly and I pushed his hip down again and made him glide back and forward. I moaned against his lips and I felt breathless. He was just as rock hard as me and it felt so good feeling him against me like this. He stopped again and I was about to protest when he kissed my throat and collarbone and let his tongue slide down to my nipple and started to play with it. I moaned and grabbed the bed sheets and my head buried itself in the pillow. Magnus sucked once and then went down my stomach and my breathing was getting harder and more out of control. He kissed each hip and suddenly he stopped. I looked down and saw him stare at something.

"What's wrong?"

"What is this?" He asked and touched something on my skin. My eyes widened and I got up on my elbows and saw the small cross burn on my hip. I had completely forgotten about it. And suddenly every memory of that night came back, how my father had just stood there, letting Valentine do those things to me. Burning that cross into my skin and how painful it had been and those words Valentine had spoken,_ "__If your special friend ever gets this far, he will see the cross and be frightened. He would know who you belong to and what will happen if he ever touches you."_ I felt tears slide down my cheeks like a waterfall and covered my eyes with my hands.

"Hey", Magnus said in a gentle voice and leaned in on me and grabbed my wrists. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"You probably think I'm disgusting", I removed my hands and looked into Magnus's confused face.

"What are you talking about?" He asked and placed my hands down on the sheets and touched my face. "Why are you so upset?"

"You won't touch me ever again!" I sobbed and I tried to push him away but he was stronger than me and made sure I didn't move an inch. "You won't touch me again! You will just run away and leave me! Just like he said!" Magnus blinked and looked down at the cross.

"Why would you say that?" He asked and looked up at me again. "What is this? Who did this to you?" He leaned away and touched the cross lightly.

"Please… don't" I said and shook my head and tried to dry my face.

"Who did this to you?" Magnus's voice was harsh and he made me stare at him wide eyed. His eyes were sad and the way he looked at me - begged me to tell him what had happened. And in some way I felt like I could tell him anything.

"He knows. They know", I said and sighed. "My dad overheard a conversation between me and my sister. I was talking about you. He knows I'm gay and he punished me." Magnus blinked and looked completely blank like he didn't expect to hear what I had just said. And I didn't blame him.

"You father did this?" He asked and pointed down at the cross.

"No…" I shook my head and looked at Magnus closely. I needed to see his reaction, to see if he was actually frightened and he would run away from me. And I needed to look him in the eyes if he did so, but I really hoped he wouldn't leave me. "Valentine Morgernstern did it. He's my father's best friend and right hand. And he and his companions held me down and burned this into my skin." I sobbed and felt my voice crack. "He said if you ever saw this you would be frightened and run away because you would know who I belong too." I shook my head and grabbed his hands. "Please don't leave me Magnus! I don't want you to leave me. I can't… I don't." My voice cracked and I started to cry again. Magnus grabbed me by the neck and pulled me into him and held me close. I threw my arms around his waist and held him close. My tears were sliding down his stomach and I couldn't stop my shivers. Magnus's hand were slowly stroking my hair and it made me feel safe. His heartbeat was steady and I could hear it beat into my ears and it made me feel like I was home.

"I won't leave you, darling", he said and moved his lips close to my ear and hummed sweetly making me take a deep breath, trying to relax. "Trust me. There is nothing that will make me leave you." I nodded and held him closer and I felt him gasp.

"Erm, darling", he said and laughed a little bit. "You're choking me." I pulled away and blushed.

"Sorry", I mumbled and looked up at him and smiled. Magnus shook his head, letting some of his hair fall down, covering his eyes.

"Don't apologize", he said and let his forehead lean against mine. He looked down and touched my collarbone lightly, and it was like he wanted to say something.

"What is it?"

"I'm just sorry this happened to you", he said quietly but without hesitation. "No one deserves to be treated like this just because of who they are." I blinked and it was like he was talking about something he had experienced himself. The way his voice spoke quietly and scared.

"Have you any marks?" I asked and grabbed his chin making him look up at me. I remembered Magnus telling me he used to be Christian. Magnus shook his head and bit his bottom lip.

"Not a visible mark", he said and leaned down kissing the cross lightly, making my heart skip a beat. I let my hand touch his hair, letting it slide through it. It was messy, silky and thick and I couldn't stop touching it. Magnus leaned up again with a smile on his lips.

"You know what? I should take you on a date" he said and let our noses touch.

"A date? Haven't we been on a date before?" Magnus blinked in confusion and shook his head hesitantly and almost looked frightened, like he had forgotten something. "I mean, when I came for hot coco. We talked. Just you and me in a café." Magnus giggled and let himself fall backwards.

"That's not really a date, but I guess we can call it that", he leaned up on his elbows and smiled at me. "But it's not really a date, this one isn't either. But my friend is holding a party in Brooklyn tonight and I sort of need a date. Would you do me the honour?"

"Yes!" I answered too fast and blushed when Magnus giggled. "I mean… I don't know if I can go. It's a school night, but maybe I can figure something out. Meaning I have to lie and lying is a sin…" I travelled off when I looked down at Magnus who was sprawled out half naked on my bed.

"I think we committed a lot of sins last night don't you think?" It was like he had read my mind and I just nodded. Magnus sighed and got off from the bed and walked towards my closet, opened it and looked at his reflection in the mirror. I blushed when I saw him standing there completely naked, his ass in eyesight. It was small and had the same light chocolate colour as like the rest of his body. He had two perfect and tight looking butt cheeks, and I couldn't get my eyes off it. He was too perfect for his own good and I couldn't believe someone like him wanted to spend his time with someone like me. His skin was so silky looking and completely hairless as if he was actually shaving. I looked down at myself and saw hair on my legs and other places. I felt like a cavemen next to him.

"You're perfect, Alec", Magnus suddenly said and I looked up to him seeing him smile at me through the mirror. He turned around and my eyes widened and I blushed even more. He walked towards me and leaned down to kiss me when my door suddenly flew open. Magnus turned around and covered himself up. I looked behind him and saw Izzy standing there with wide eyes. There was an awkward silent and without a word she walked in and closed the door behind herself.

"So I really did hear some weird noises from your room last night", she said and crossed her arms and smirked at us. I looked up at Magnus who didn't seem affected by the situation. But I pulled him down on the bed by grabbing his wrist.

"This isn't really what it looks like Izzy", I said and grabbed the duvet to cover up Magnus and myself.

"Oh, so you're Izzy", Magnus said and smiled at her and stretched out his hand. "Hello I'm Magnus." Izzy smiled and walked towards him and grabbed his hand.

"Pleasure to meet you", she said and looked over at me. "You know school starts in 30 minutes?" My eyes went wide and I sprung up and ran towards my closet and grabbed a pair of underwear as fast as I could. Izzy sat down next to Magnus and smiled.

"So, how old are you?" She asked and looked down at him. "You don't look that old."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked and looked down at himself, with narrowed eyebrows.

"Alec told me that…"

"Izzy!" I snapped and turned around, while zipping up my pants. "Can't you please just leave?!" Izzy laughed and got up and looked down at Magnus.

"Seriously, how old are you?"

"I'm only 25, thank you very much", he said and crossed his arms over his chest. "And since you're already here and up on your feet, do you mind giving me that pile of clothes over there?" Izzy turned around and grabbed the pile and threw it in Magnus's face.

"You and I need a talk", she turned to me. I blinked and looked over at Magnus taking on his underwear underneath the duvet.

"Not now?" I asked and grabbed a black sweater and put it on.

"Not now, silly", she said and sighed. "But Magnus needs to go because mom is coming and he can't use the window because dad is working in the garden."

"Are you serious!?" I snapped and grabbed my shoes, jacket and bag pack as fast as possible and looked over at Magnus who was lazily taking on his shoes. "Faster Magnus!"

"I'll help you" she said and smiled. "Only if you tell me everything that happened last night." I heard footsteps in the hallway and felt myself panic. If my mom opened the door in this moment I would faint and I wouldn't know what to say when she saw Magnus.

"Okay, fine, I'll tell you everything!" I had completely forgotten I hadn't talked to my sister after the whole Valentine accident, and I was glad to see that she was okay. I needed to talk to her anyways. She grabbed Magnus by the wrist and yanked him towards the door and suddenly the door flew open and my heart stopped. Izzy had been fast and had barely escaped getting the door slammed in the face and jumped to the side, hiding behind the door. My mom walked in and looked at me in surprise.

"What have you've been doing? You're late and you didn't come down for any breakfast", she walked towards me and touched my forehead with her hand. I looked behind her and saw Izzy dragging Magnus with her. Magnus turned around and looked at me with a smile on his lips and then he was gone.

"Dear God, you're really warm", she said and let her hand fall down. "Maybe you should stay home?"

"No!" I said fast and saw my mom blink in surprise. "I mean… I really want to go to school. I'm already behind and I don't want to miss more." Actually, I just didn't want to go back to bed. Feeling what was left of Magnus's warmth and remembering every single detail of what had happened that night. I grabbed my mom's hand and dragged her out of my room.

"Are you sure?" She said and looked at me strangely as I closed the door. "I did hear some weird noises form your room last night and it sounded like you were getting suffocated." I blushed and scratched my scalp.

"I was just having a dream I guess", I said and tried to smile at her.

"You're all acting so weird. Especially, your father", she said and looked hurt. I slowly leaned forward and kissed her in the cheek.

"Don't worry mom", I said and leaned away and smiled. "Everything is fine." I turned away and ran down the stairs and began to get dressed and ran out the door. I heard a small sound; And felt something vibrating in my pocket. I grabbed my cell phone and opened the message

_Hey Lovely_

_I had an amazing night! And I miss you already_

_Can't wait to see you tonight :** _

_Talk later_

_Love Magnus_

_P.s You're sister is quite scary_

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**So, Alec is being really naughty! And he's changing, swearing using the word "Hell" what's up with that? Oh well... I'm not so sure of the end of this chapter! I sort of got stuck in the middle of this chapter, and I hope it's not visible but I did my best and I just wanted to give you guys and update (: I hoped you like it? I don't have so much to say to this one, other than I'm excited for the next chapter because that is awesome and we will meet someone we haven't seen in a while, who will make a mess of things, in a way.  
So review and I will make sure the next update will happen faster than this one!  
BTW, Have you guys seen my new fanfic, The Ward Hill? If your into drama, horror, thriller and romance I suggest you check it out... please? (L)**

**xxx**


	18. Strangled memories

**Okay and update! To answer a question, no English is not my first language so I'm glad my English is understandable and Danish is my first language so yeah! Sometimes the sentences can kind of be translated directly from Danish too English and there's where some of the mistake my come in... like "blinking" means winking in Danish and sometimes I mis it up! **

**But back to all your sweet reviews, I love them all and they keep me writing this story, even when I feel a writers block coming up, I just read your reviews and I write! I love you all!**

**Enjoy **

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**18. Strangled memories**

******Magnus´ POV:**

**I** looked at the people around me. They were all smiling, laughing, talking and kissing. They were all wearing beautiful clothing, with glitter, colour and sparkles. I looked down and saw a pretty thin bracelet around my wrist, in the colour pink. My nails had a little bit of glitter on them and my arms too. I took the cup I was holding up to my mouth, and tipped the dark blue liquid into my mouth. It tasted sweet and had a strong after taste of vodka. I shivered at the taste and placed the cup on the table next to me.

"Do you think he will show up?" a sweet and hoarse voice asked next to me. I tipped my head to the side and let my eyes slowly glance towards Camille. Her blonde hair was in a tall pony tail, held up by a golden elastic band made of metal. Her green eyes were highlighted with a dark grey colour and her tight black pants made her look tall. Her golden top had a few glitter smears and a small pink stain by her breast. She was a little uneasy on her feet and she stumbled down next to me.

"I think you've had enough, sweetheart" I said and pushed her away from me. She giggled and let her head fall down on my shoulder and looked up at me with dilated eyes. "Oh my God Camille", I sighed. "Don't tell me you've taken something you shouldn't!"

"Define _shouldn't_"_, _she said giggled with a grin on her lips. I rolled my eyes and looked back into the crowd. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't show up – though I would be surprised _if_ he did. I hadn't heard from him all day and I had just told myself that he's not coming. Camille sighed and walked in front of me.

"Don't worry, he'll show up", she said and started to shake her hips to the music. She smiled at me and let her hands slide down my arms and grabbed my hands. "Meanwhile, dance with me." I smiled and let her drag me to the dance floor.

There were blinking lights everywhere and people were dancing against each other. In blue, pink and yellow, and they were all mixed in together and dancing around each other. The music was loud and made my whole body vibrate. Camille danced around me, yelling "wuu" constantly. I laughed at her and tried to get her to take it easy when a pair of cold hands slipped under my shirt. I shivered and turned around in a fast movement, standing eye to eye with those amazing green eyes.

"Woosley?" I breathed and suddenly I felt nervous. "What are you doing here?" He laughed at me and my heart skipped a beat. His laughter was smooth and melodic; I didn't know that I had missed his laughter so much.

"I know Christian too", he said and leaned in. "Forgotten we share, almost, the same friends?" I blinked and looked back at Camille. She was busy jumping around with a group of strangers.

"No I didn't forget", I said and smiled. "How are you?" Woosley contracted his eyebrows and leaned closer.

"What?" he asked, his voice going higher. He couldn't hear me. I grabbed his wrist and dragged him out to the garden. I closed the door and could feel the music bumping through the wood. I turned around and saw his white shirt wide open, leaving a pale toned chest and a pair of tight black jeans. I glanced up at him and saw him smile.

"What? What are you smiling about?" I snapped at him and crossed my arms. He laughed again and walked towards me.

"Don't be so shy, Maggie", he said and touched a piece of my hair. "I've missed you." He let his hand slide down to my cheek and grazed my cheekbone with his thump, and it made me close my eyes. His touch had always made me this way, weak and confused.

"I've missed you too", I said and it was the truth. It would be stupid to say I didn't because he would know it was a lie anyways. He smiled and took his hand away from me, making me look away from him. "Well… We should get back in."

"No, come on", Woosley said and grabbed my wrist and clenched it tightly. "Let's talk. It feels like ages since we last saw each other." He slowly walked backwards with a smile on his lips and turned around, dragging my down the garden, down to the old bench in the middle. It had birds carved into the wood and the moonlight made them look more real. He sat me down and let an arm stretch behind my shoulders. I leaned against his shoulder and let him hold me tight to him. His warmth gave me comfort and I liked it when he held me tight because I felt safe.

"So how is it going?" He asked me, taking me out of my trance. "Any new lovers in your life?" I snorted and leaned away.

"No, there is none of that kind", I said and looked down at my hands scraping off some of the glitter on my nails.

"None of that kind?" Woosley said and raised an eyebrow. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

"No lover," I said and sighed, suddenly regretting being out here with him. "I'm seeing someone-" I rolled my eyes because of myself. "-I think."

"You think?"

"I'm not so sure I mean", I said and looked up at him. "He's younger than me and he's a Christian." Woosley let out a strangled laugh and looked at me in surprise.

"Are you serious?" He said and saw me look at him with blank eyes. "Okay, then. How much younger?"

"Really younger", I said and took my head in my hands. "Way to young. Illegal young."

"Illegal young?" Woosley said with a grin. "I hope he's not 15 or under."

"Ew gross" I said and frowned. "I'm not a paedophile. He's 17, but still."

"Well, have you guys done it then?" Woosley said and I suddenly felt a hand on my thigh and I couldn't help but make space for his fingers to slide down my inner thigh.

"N-no" I stammered and looked down at his fingers caressing my inner thigh. It made my body shiver and I sighed at the feeling it was giving me. "We haven't had sex."

"But you guys must have done something else?" Woosley asked and leaned in on me and made me look at him. His face was very close to mine and our noses almost touched. "Otherwise you would have reacted so much more on me touching you." His fingers slid further up and caressed my half erection. He rubbed his finger up and down, though the fabric of my pants, making it burn.

"Woosley…" I breathed and looked down at his full lips and I leaned forward by reflex. Our lips touched with an urgent force and I let out a soft moan. My hands grabbed his neck and pulled him into me. His chest was hard against mine and I could feel his heartbeat against mine. He opened his mouth wide and I felt his tongue enter, dancing with mine. I moaned and lifted myself a little form the bench, and apparently Woosley saw this as an invitation and his hands grabbed my butt hard. He lifted me up so I was straddling him, and our lips never left each other. I tilted my head to the left and took his upper lip between my teeth and sucked, loving hearing his moans. His hands kept on roping my butt and I loved how he pushed me forward and backwards, making our lower regions touch each other with each movement. I kissed him one last time and licked his bottom lips before moving down his jaw line and down to the Adams apple, nipping a little on the sensitive skin.

"Yesss," Woosley hissed, and his right hands slip under my shirt and up my back. He slowly let it slide down and lifted the waistband of my pants with his finger and slid his whole hand down. I stopped nipping on his skin and brought my lips up towards his ear, barely touching it. He shivered at the touch of my breath, and I knew how much he loved hearing my breath against his ear. He loved the sound of it, hearing me being so close to him, it made him crazy. Woosley's other hand went up too grab my hair.

"Mmmm", I moaned and breathed harder. _"Magnus…mmm", his hand gripped my hair and he tucked it slightly. _I blinked and I suddenly remembered why the hell I was at this party and it was to be with Alec. And now I was sitting here on my ex-lover, groping and kissing him and I was feeling excited. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. _I slowly grabbed the pants hem and pulled down, and with another surprise Alec leaned up, making it easier for me to push the pants all the way down. I was going to enjoy this, no doubt, so I was taking full advances on his position._I moaned at the memory and my grip on Woosley's neck got tighter and I heard him groan. I remembered how beautiful Alec's body had looked in the moonlight, how glorious and luminous it looked. How the moonlight captured every single detail of his flat and muscular stomach, shaping every muscle and how his chest was rising up and down when I touched him. "_Fuck…" he moaned and his head came up and his eyes looked all dazed and out of focus._

"Fuck…" I moaned and closed my eyes. "Alec." His name came out in a hard moan and I opened my eyes. I was getting excited because of Alec. Because of all those things we did last night, because Alec was unbelievable sexy and hot last night. And I was getting all aroused because of that memory. I pushed myself away from Woosley and looked down at him and he looked confused at me.

"I'm sorry, Woosley", I said and got up and pushed up my pants a little. "I don't know what just happened." He leaned forward and smirked at me.

"Well, whatever it was I loved it", he said and got up, walking towards me, grapping me by my hips and pulled me closer. "How about we finish what we were doing." He leaned in and was about to kiss me when I pushed him away hard.

"No, Woosley!" I said and blinked at my own reaction. Woosley had almost tripped over the bench and I could have hurt him. "We're over. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kissed you, it was wrong of me. I don't care about you like that anymore. I can't do these things to or with you anymore. I like someone else and I have to, or at least try, to only have him." Woosley stared at me with a blank look and I was afraid I might have hurt his feelings. Woosley was still a dear friend of mine, but I had to set limits or else he would think we could continue doing whatever we used to do.

"Only him?" He said and shook his head with a smile on his lips. "Suddenly, you only want one? When you were with me, you slept with other guys and girls. You slept with many people, and I didn't care because I knew you would always end up in my bed in the end!" I blinked and took a step back, suddenly feeling threatened how his voice had raised in the middle of the sentence.

"What makes this boy so special that you want to be with him?" Woosley said and took a step forward. "Why couldn't it be me? I was always there for you when you needed me."

"Yes", I said, feeling my voice shake, which it never did. "_When_ I needed you, and you knew why I needed you. Woosley, there could never be anything between us, you know that. It was purely physical and we both agreed on that." Woosley moved fast and grabbed my arms and held me tight.

"How could you not feel anything? Didn't you love me?" He asked and his voice was shaking, but there was laughter in his voice. "How can you be this cold? How can you be so cold hearted? You don't feel anything. That's why you can mess around with so many people, because you just lock out your feelings. Just. Like. A. Whore."

"Fuck you!" I yelled and tried to get out of his grip, but he tightened it and my skin burned and I whimpered. "Please…"

"I tried to safe you." He suddenly said and slowly touched my cheek, and I tried to move away from his touch, but he wouldn't let me go. "You're a danger to yourself and someday you might end up doing something stupid. I can't lose you like that, so now I will do this right." I gulped and his hand moved down from my cheek to my throat and he grabbed it tight. I gasped and grabbed his wrist.

"No…" I gasped and looked up at him. "Help!" was the only word there could come out in a scream. I felt tears roll down my cheek and suddenly Woosley was close to me and his lips were on mine. I whimpered and I tried to get away from him, but he forced his lips back on mine. Was this it? Was this my time to go? The only thing I could think of was me and my mom on the beach and Alec- Oh, Alec and his sweet blue eyes looking lovingly at me. I didn't deserve him, maybe Woosley was right. I'm cold hearted and I will end up doing something stupid. Hurting someone I cared about and then eventually myself. But my heart was warm and loving when I was with-

Suddenly Woosley was pushed away and he felt down on the ground and I fell down on my knees and coughed trying to catch my breath. I gasped and looked up seeing someone dressed in a black sweater and dark jeans. His black hair was messy and his blue eyes glowed with anger.

"Alec?" I gasped with wide eyes.

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**So the "someone we haven't seen in awhile" wasn't who you were expecting huh? But don't worry Sebastian will be back soon too, I'm far from done with him. Izzy will also be back and questions about what happened to her in Roberts office will be answered, and what she thinks of Magnus! **

**Okay, so I will hurry up with the next chapter! So lets reach the 200 reviews! For me and most importanly for Malec!**

**xxx**


	19. Falling for you

**I feel SO bad for not posting in over a month! I'm so sorry - My excuse is, the same as everyone, this is my last year of high school and I'm going to graduate this summer so I'm studying like crazzzy! But it won't happen with the next chapter - SWEAR! **

**I hope this will make up for the long waiting! Thank you all for the amazing reviews and sweet SWEET comments - BTW no hard feelings on commenting on my typos, honestly I don't mind, I learn from them - So thank you all again!**

**ENJOY**

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**19.** **Falling for you**

**I** looked down at my hands in surprise; surprised by my own action. I had never pushed anyone and felt so angry before in my entire life. I glanced at the guy who had kissed and strangled Magnus. How dare he touch Magnus and worse, kiss him like that. I clenched my hands into fists and I felt the urge to throw myself on top of him and beat him up for hurting Magnus. This feeling was unknown for me, and it felt horrible, being so angry at someone you actually wanted to hurt them. Jealousy, this was what this was. I felt powerful in a creepy way and I just wanted to get away.

"Alec?" Magnus said in a strangled voice and I blinked and looked down at him. I had completely forgotten that he had felt on the ground too, and he looked up at me with sad eyes. He was still gasping for air and his hand was on his chest. His hair was a mess and his lip-gloss was smeared over his face. His clothing was curled and I hated knowing that the guy had been touching Magnus. Magnus looked confused and he looked away when I squinted my eyes at him. I didn't mean to look mad, but right now that was the only feeling I felt. I heard a muffled sound and looked over where the other guy had stumbled backwards. I walked towards him with fast steps and grabbed him by the arm, pulling him up.

"How dare-" I stopped midsentence and I felt my jaw drop. It was the guy at Cece's party, his cousin. What was his name again? "You?" I snapped and the man blinked, his green eyes shining. He straightened his clothes and looked at me. His blond hair had leafs in it and dirt in some places. He blinked a few more times, like he was trying to get some dirt out of his eyes when he finally looked at me closely.

"Well look who we got here?" He said and smirked. I wanted to smack him across the face but restrained myself. I had already been out of line by pushing him.

"How?" I didn't know what else to say and this was the only thing that sounded properly enough.

"It's a small world", he said and folded out his arms and let his hands rest on his hip. "How are you doing? Any trouble with that drunken blond hottie?" I glanced down on the ground, not knowing what to say. I was speechless. Before I had felt angry and like I could do everything; now everything felt right back to the vulnerability I always had. He took a step towards me. "Cat got you tongue?" He reached out for me and I slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch me", I hissed and took a step towards him. "How dare you touch him like that! You almost killed him!" The man blinked and straightened himself, but I could see his body stiffen.

"I wasn't trying to kill him", he said and glanced down at Magnus. "I was only trying to scare him." I walked in front him, so he couldn't look at Magnus. I don't know why, but the thought of his eyes on Magnus made me sick.

"Don't look at him", I snapped, "or I will scratch your eyes out!" I leaped for him when a hand grabbed my shoulder. I didn't have to turn around to know it was Magnus. He had gotten up just in time. I was glad he stopped me because I had no idea what I would have done when I had felt my feet move toward the green eyed monster.

"Alec", Magnus said softly, and his grip loosened. "Don't." I took a deep breath and looked down on the ground exhaled.

"Better control your animal", the man said and made a nervous laugh. I couldn't help but smirk, knowing he was nervous because of me. "Things could end up pretty bad."

"Yeah for you", I snapped and took a threatened step forwards, seeing him stumble backwards.

"You two, stop it!" Magnus yelled and sighed while pushing me behind him. "I don't know what the deal is between you two. But Woosley-" I blinked by the name. So that was his name. _Woosley._ What kind of name is that anyway? "-I think you should leave. And don't come back. I don't want to see you again. And be glad I don't call the cops on you." Woosleys' face stiffened and his mouth went into a line. His eyes loosed it's colour but seemed glassy, like he was about to cry.

"But Magnus-"

"You heard him, _Woosley._ Stay away from him, and don't you dare put another hand or your disgusting lips on him ever again!" I said and breathed out. "Or I swear by God I will make your life a living hell. And that's a promise." Woosley gulped, but his face stayed blank. I took a quick glance at Magnus before Woosley turned around and ran up to the house. I watched him as he disappeared and I couldn't help but being a little scared of myself. I had the tendency to turn out like this when someone hurts the people I love. But did I love Magnus? I must, since I went all maniac because of Woosley. I let a hand run up my arm and bit my bottom lip.

"Alexander?" Magnus whispered and he touched my shoulder. I pushed his hand away from my shoulder and turned around and saw the hurt in his eyes. I hadn't meant it like that; that he couldn't touch me. I just wanted to be closer to him. I leaned in on him and I saw his eyes widen and I let my arms go around his waist and pulled him into me. I could feel his heart against my chest, hammering hard and fast. I sniffed, taking in his smell and this time he smelled like sandalwood and the night sky – just as fresh and cold. I grabbed him tighter and I felt him gasp and I finally felt his hands around my waist. I closed my eyes and cuddled my head against his chest.

"I'm sorry", he whispered and his head landed on top of mine. "I-" I leaned away from him and cut him off with a kiss. I knew that Woosley had been the last one who kissed his lips, but I didn't care. I wanted to kiss Woosley away, and make sure that my lips would be the last ones on Magnus'. I wanted only my lips on his, no one else's. I wanted Magnus for myself. I opened my mouth and sucked in his bottom lip. His lips opened and he kissed me back. We stayed like that for only a few seconds but it felt like minutes. He leaned away and made a small giggle and let his forehead lean against mine.

"What was that about?"

"I don't want you to kiss anybody else. I only want you to kiss me. Just me", I said and let my tongue slide over my bottom lip. "I want you to be with only me. And I know it's a lot to ask for, since I'm just a kid. An inexperience kid, but I don't want you to see someone else or go out with someone else. I know it's selfish of me to ask this from you, but I think I'm falling for you, and I think it's okay being selfish in a situation like this." Magnus blinked and he looked completely taken aback. I didn't blame him, since I just came out with a big love confession. It had just blurted out of me. I had been going around thinking about it all day. How much I loved talking to him, since he was so easy to talk too. And I know we hadn't known each other for so long, but it felt like a lifetime, and it felt just right for me. And I was afraid if I didn't come out with it now, I would never be able to and I might loose him. And that was a chance I was not willing to take. "Say something. Please."

"I-", he bit his bottom lip and made a small smile. "I'm falling for you too. And it's fucking scary since I barely know you. I mean I know you a bit but not enough and I really want too." He exhaled and took a breath like he was going to hold a speech. "I only want you too kiss me. The kiss with Woosley didn't mean anything and it was stupid of me. But this is who I am. I kiss whoever kisses me and I suck at relationships, but then again I have never been in one."

"You're babbling," I said and laughed at him. "Is this something you do when you're nervous?"

"Usually, no", he said and took my hand in his. "I guess it's just something you bring out in me." I smiled and looked down on the ground, feeling my cheeks getting warm.

"I don't feel like going to the party", I said and looked up at him and I saw Magnus raise an eyebrow.

"Oh", he said and let my hands go and took a step back. "Want me to walk you home?" I snorted and shook my head.

"Who said anything about me going home?"

"I-", He looked at me harder and made a small smile. "Well then, what do you want to do?"

"We're going home to you of course", I smiled and grabbed his hand again, dragging a very confused Magnus after me.

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**So that was one crappy chapter title, but I had to come up with something...  
Alec turned all maniac on "poor" Woosley! It was really fun writing this side of him, because he comes out very fragile in this story, but as I wrote this chapter he just turned out like this - AND I LOVE IT! And don't worry we wont be seeing anything from Woosley in a while or maybe not ever, haven't decided on that one yet.  
But because of the long wait I decided to give you all a sweet Malec moment, and I hoped you all liked it and I swear in the next two chapters the moments will go from sweet to steamy (; **

**Please review and tell me what you think, and just too let me know you're still out there loving this story and I haven't pushed you all away ahahah**

**xxxxx**


	20. L O V E

**Thank you so much for those sweet and amazing reviews! They made a huge smile on my lips! So I wanted to post this chapter to you all before I go on a few weeks hiatus! I'm graduating on tuesday and then I'm going on a 2 week graduating party/vacation! But after that I will be back will an amazing smutty chapter! So this chapter is LONG, like around 4000 words long -**

**Enjoy **

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**20. L O V E**

**Magnus'POV**

** I** closed the door behind me and turned the lights on. The walls were white, leaving only one wall light pink in the living room. My sofa was grey with many colourful cushions and there was a small glass sofa table with candles and a pile of old magazines. I had a small TV, standing on a TV table, with DVD's underneath. Over the TV there was a picture with the word LOVE spelled across it in different colours.

"Wow", Alec said as he walked into the middle of the living room. "You live here?" I nodded as I walked towards him.

"I know it's not much, but-", I looked around and loved how I knew this was mine and that this was something I could call home. "- It's home."

"I like it", he said and turned with a smile on his face. "It's so you. Nice, colourful, small and cosy. I wish my house were like this. It's all black and brown, and you're afraid to touch anything because it might be dirty."

"Christ", I said and rubbed my neck.

"Exactly", Alec said and giggled. I couldn't help but smile. He ought to do that more often.

"You look pretty like that, you know", I said and walked closer to him. Alec stopped the giggling and bit his bottom lip.

"Like what?"

"All joyful, smiley and giggly", I said and touch the corner of his mouth with my finger. "You look like an angel." Alec snorted and looked away. I could see he was blushing like crazy.

"Stop it", he mumbled and kept looking away. His eyes darted around the room, trying to avoid eye contact with me. I bend my head down and my breath on his neck made him turn around, giving me the chance to kiss him. His lips were soft and I heard him gasp in surprise. I opened my eyes and leaned away from him slowly, seeing his big blue eyes staring wide at me.

"Want some hot coco?" I asked and I couldn't help but smile. Alec blushed and just nodded, walking into my kitchen after me. My kitchen was old fashion, with a small wood table with two dark blue chairs. I walked behind the counter and opened the refrigerator and grabbed some milk. Alec sat on a small stool behind the counter and I saw how his eyes glanced around.

"This room doesn't seem so much like you", he said and touched the plain wooden counter with his fingertip.

"Oh no, dear", I said and grabbed a pot and started to pour some milk in it. "This came with the place. And I liked it, it's filled with memories and I couldn't get myself to take it all down."

"It's nice." He scratched his collarbone and the golden chain with the cross appeared and I couldn't help but look away. It's not like I had forgotten the bet, I was reminded of it every time I was with Alec. But it sometimes slipped away because I like being around him and kissing and talking to him. I knew this whole thing is wrong and in the end it wouldn't become anything because we come from two different worlds. So I guess it's okay?

"Are you okay?" I blinked and looked over at Alec whose blue eyes were wide and his eyebrows raised, disappearing in his hair.

"Er… what?"

"You look pale?"

"Oh no, I'm fine", I said and turned on the stove and started to turn the spoon around in the milk. Alec walked over to me and looked at me with concern.

"I can do this, you know?" He said and grabbed my wrist stopping my turning. "You can take a break. You've been through enough today." I blinked and let go of the spoon. His blue eyes were filled with concern and something else; I couldn't put a finger on it. He was so sweet and beautiful, and perfect. I felt my whole body go rigid and I leaned into him slowly. I could feel his heart against my chest, and it was slow and steady. I closed my eyes and closed the distance between our lips, and again Alec gasped in surprise and I smirked. I pressed him against the counter hard, and let my hands slide down his arms, feeling his hands holding onto the counter for balance. I opened my mouth and nipped his button lip, hearing him moan. I slid my tongue over his lip, begging for entrance and he opened his mouth. Our lips fit together perfectly, and we both tilted our heads to make it easier. Alec was learning fast, though he was a bit clumsy. His tongue was not as daring as mine. I found his belt loops and hooked my fingers in them and held him steady against my body. His lower lip was between my lips and I sucked it slightly, before kissing him again. It's the sweetest kiss I had ever had. Alec pulled back and gasped for air, leaning his forehead against mine.

"What are you doing?" He asked and looked at me.

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you-" he stopped and bit his button lip with a small blush across his cheeks. "- stop using your tongue?"

"I thought you didn't like it, since you haven't done it back." I raised an eyebrow.

"I do", he mumbled, "I just don't know how to do it properly. Izzy said she once kissed this guy who used too much tongue and she felt like she was drowning, and she never spoke to him again. I'm just scared that if I do it wrong you wouldn't want to see me again." His cheeks were flaming red now and he looked at his shoes. I tried to hold back my laughter and my fanboy moment of cuteness. I grabbed his chin and yanked his head up, seeing surprise look in his eyes.

"Just follow me", I said and leaned in, closing my eyes. I tilted my head to the side and slowly captured his lower lips between my lips again. We started out slowly and when I was losing patience, I swept the tip of my tongue across his lip. His whole body shuddered and his hands flew up too my waist. I did one smooth, swift motion before I suddenly felt his tongue against mine. I opened my lips a bit wider and slide my tongue into his moths, meeting Alec's. I playfully tagged his tongue and rolled it around. Slowly, Alec started to join the game. It felt amazing and I heard myself moan, and leaned against him more. I lifted him up on the counter and his legs swept around my waist, pulling me against him.

His hand went behind my neck and he kissed me faster and harder. I could get use to this. I could get use to his quick learning skills. I lifted the hem of his shirt a little with my finger, and he didn't seem to mind or notice. I touched the bare skin with my fingertips, and he shuddered again but didn't stop. I took my other hand underneath his shirt and I let it slide up his toned stomach to hard muscles of his chest. He felt amazing against my palm, and his skin woke up every nerve in my body. I slowly let my thump move around his nipple and he moaned, making a hum sound against my tongue. I felt my breathing getting harder and I pushed myself against him harder, and so did he. We were so close; I bet he could feel my heart beating against his own. Suddenly there was a buzz and I sighed, leaning away from him. Alec's face was a complete blush and his tongue slid across his lips, leaving them wet and shiny. I smiled and leaned in to kiss him slowly before biting on his bottom lip slightly.

"Magnus", Alec gasped and I felt his hands on my waist, trying to push me away. "I need to pick it up."

"I know", I sighed and leaned away. "There better be someone dying, because if not I will make sure there is." I turned to the milk and turned the spoon around in the heated milk again. "Ruining the moment." I mumbled, but Alec heard it and he looked a little sad.

"Sorry", he said and jumped down from the counter and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll be right back." He walked out of the kitchen, taking up his cell phone and I heard him say hello to someone. I sighed again; not because I was irritated - well maybe it was a bit because of that - but mostly because I was trying to catch my breath. I touched my lips, still feeling Alec's against mine. It made a tingling feeling and I gulped at the feeling. This was something new. Completely new. What the hell was going on with me? I frowned and looked back at the milk, seeing the milk bubbling. I turned the heat off and grabbed two cups to pour the milk in. Meanwhile, I couldn't help but listening to the conversation that was going on in my living room.

"What do you mean?" Alec sighed before letting himself fall down on the couch. "If you like him so much, you should go meet him. Screw what dad says." I raised an eyebrow; had he just said _screw_?

"Yeah, I just said screw. Sorry…" Alec let his legs tangle over the armrest. "No, Magnus and I are not…" I could hear the blush in his voice and I couldn't help but smile. I walked a little closer and leaned against the doorframe.

"Izzy… _please_, leave it alone." Alec began to sound frustrated. "Look, I have to go. He's waiting for me… No, not in the bedroom… Izzy, I'm hanging up now. Yeah, hate you too." He hung up and placed his phone on the sofa table and sighed.

The love of siblings. In a way I have always wanted someone, looking like me and sharing the same blood with; and to have a different sort of bond with him than you have with your parents or friends. But then again, having siblings seemed like a hard job.

"Hope your sister isn't giving you a hard time", I said and walked into the living room, surprising him. He sat up and blinked at me.

"You-you heard?"

"I couldn't help it", I placed the cups on the table and sat next to him. He swung his legs down from the armrest and placed his feet on the floor.

"I hope she didn't give you a hard time, when she-err", he blushed and rubbed his palms against his knee. "I mean she's my sister, and she can be a little-"

"- straightforward?"

"Yeah", he said and smiled, looking at me. "I guess you can say that."

I looked at him, seeing the similarities him and Izzy shared. They both had the same beautiful raven hair and the eyes spoke the truth. They both had a pretty posture that shaped their bodies amazingly. But where Izzy was confident and proud, Alec was hidden and shy. I needed him to open up because God do I want to know this boys secrets.

"Let's play a game", I said and took my feet up on the sofa. "20 questions."

"Seriously?" Alec raised an eyebrow.

"Sure", I shrugged. "Call me cheesy, but I just want to get to know you, darling."

"O-kay", Alec said and leaned back, trying to get comfortable. "You go first?"

"Do you like to kiss me?"

"Er-", he blushed and looked at me curiously. "Is that seriously your question?"

"Why not?"

"Fine", he sighed and played with the hem of his shirt. "I enjoy kissing you."

"Re-ally?" I said and leaned a little forward. "How much?"

"I believe it's my turn", he said and smirked at me. He actually smirked at me and may I point out he looks amazing doing it. "Where do you come from?"

"Originally?" He nodded. "I'm from Indonesia, or I'm sort of half Dutch and Indonesian. I was born here in the States though. Indonesian from my mom and Dutch from my father."

"You look more Indonesian."

"Well, how exactly does a Dutch person look like?" I smiled and saw him smile back. "My turn. How are things at home?"

"I don't know, actually", he shrugged and took his feet up on the couch too and hugging his knees. "I haven't spoken to my father since the day I had to clean his car and my mom doesn't know anything, though she knows something is wrong. And I hadn't spoken to Izzy yet and Jace knows about you and me, and me being gay. And honestly things at home are crazy and it all seems so faked."

"I meant", I moved a little closer to him, letting our shoulders touch. "How are you feeling at home?"

"Oh, me?" He bit his bottom lip and I felt the urge to give him a kiss and tell him I would always be there for him. "I don't know how I'm feeling. I'm confused about everything and I'm scared what will happen. And I don't like to know my father hates me and what he might do next. I love him, but then again, what kind of father would hurt his child. I hate that I was born like this. So I guess, I'm just – I don't know."

I could see he was struggling with finding words and he looked upset. I wanted to tell him being angry and scared was okay because the world isn't so accepting as it might seem. So I guess it was my turn to tell some of my story.

"I know how you feel. I mean, my dad didn't take it so well, when he found out I was gay. Though I was a little younger than you are and I ran away when I was 15."

"How young were you?"

"13 actually. He found my secret stash of gay porn and he punished me. I guess it's just how our sort of family deals with things."

"What happened to you?"

"My dad sent me to a church to help clean it up. This priest was there and he was a real scumbag. He had forced himself on me before. Forcing me to-" I stopped. Was I really going to tell him this? Nobody but I and my mom knew this and I never planned on telling anybody. But here this beautiful boy was sitting next to me with his sparkling blue eyes staring at me with curiosity. And I felt like I could trust him with this, like I could trust him with everything, and it freaked me out. I took a deep breath and smiled a little. "He forced me to do stuff to him. And at the church he tried to rape me, my mom saved me though and she kept it a secret-" I felt a hand on mine and looked down, seeing Alec's fingers caressing my knuckles. "- When I turned 15 my dad started to get more crazy about the whole gay thing and one night it went out of hand. My mom told me to pack my stuff and gave me a lot of money so I could get the hell out of there. I ran, never looking back. I came to New York and I didn't know where else to go. I met this guy, I think he was around 30 and he offered me 100 bucks too just have sex with him. And I was young and stupid and I couldn't say no to that. He took me in and I stayed with him for 2 years, until I had enough money to leave. When I turned 17 I met Camille at a party and everything went out of hand. I only slept with her once, and we tried to date, but we only worked as friends. And when I turned 23 I met Woosley. And everything sort of settles in. Ragnor knew Camille and offered me a job, and I have been friends with those two for a long time now. I guess, what I'm trying to say is that things do get better; there are just a couple of bumps on the road. But what's life without a few bumps?" I couldn't help but laugh a bit. "Sorry for talking too much."

"No. No, no", Alec said and smiled. "Don't apologize. Thanks for telling me this."

"You're not freaked out?" I asked and raised an eyebrow. "I mean with the whole priest thing and the pervert 30 year old. My whole life has been screwed up."

"Why would I be freaked out?" Alec kept caressing my knuckles and leaned down, letting his forehead land on our hands. "I'm sorry this happened to you. You didn't deserve any of that. You were just a kid. But, what happened to your mom and dad?"

"My dad killed my mom when I was 17. I read it on the news." I took my hand out of his and lifted his head up. "Please don't feel sorry for me, Alec. I don't need that." Alec blinked and looked down and nodded.

"I would never feel sorry for you, Magnus", he whispered and I saw his eyes glanced at my lips. "You're the strongest person I know."

"Charming", I leaned forward and gave him a kiss. I felt him smile against my lips. "Hey!" I leaned away and looked at him closely. "Tell me how you know Woosley?"

"Erm, I met him at a party Sebastian dragged me too." Alec looked flustered. "He looked sad so I talked to him and that's it."

"He seemed to remember you", I mumbled. "What else happened between you two?"

"Er, noth-nothing happened, honestly," Alec said. "We just talked and that's all. He seemed a little into me though, but that's it. He's not my type anyways."

"Oh so we have a type now, huh?" I raised an eyebrow and couldn't help but laugh at his surprised expression.

"I-I think so. I mean, it's not that I think every boy I see is hot or attractive", he fumbled with the edge of his shirt. "I mean I find you attractive, so I guess you're sort of my type."

"So I guess you like older, handsome and strong men then", I leaned a little forward and touched the tip of his nose with my own. He blushed and I saw his eyes flicker around, like he didn't know where to look. "It's okay being into that sort of men. But I like my men, or in this case boys; cute, blushy and with big blue eyes that look at you with only the truth." Alec's eyes finally met mine and he gave me a hesitant smile.

"You like me?" He asked and blushed a little more.

"Well I already told you I'm falling for you?" I said, making it sound like a question. "So of course I like you, Alexander. And a little more."

"I just like the sound of it", he said and his blue eyes shone happiness. "It sounds nice."

"Well then," I leaned forward and put a hand on his cheek, and absently stroked his cheek with my thumb. "I like you a lot." The words came out in a whisper and as I leaned forward, I saw how his eyes glanced down at my lips before starting to close. Our lips touched when suddenly a ringing tone started jamming. I sighed and got up, grabbing my phone.

"What do you want, Camille?"

"_Do you want to go out? I'm boooored and I need to blow off some steam._"

"Yeah well", I looked over at Alec who just smiled sweetly at me. "Me too."

"_Then let's go, my dear cock sucking friend_".I raised an eyebrow and frowned.

"Are you already drunk?"

"_Only a bit_"_, _and she started to giggle. "_I bought some Jack Daniels. I'll share it with you, if you come join me._"

"I can't tonight, I'm-" I trailed off as Alec settled down on the couch and looked at his phone. "-I'm busy tonight."

"_With what?_" She snapped and I heard a bottle break in the background. "_Hey, you fucking dickhead! You better pay for that or I'm going to chop you into small pieces and feat it to my fucking pussy!_"I took the phone away from my ear and furrowed my eyebrows. "_Helloooo? Magnus?_"

"Erm, yes Camille, I'm still here", I let a hand go through my hair. "I'm sorry about tonight though."

"_Whatever, shithead!_"There was a pause and for a minute I thought she had hung up if it wasn't from her breathing. "_What are you doing?_"

"Well, I was doing something if you hadn't called me", I looked over to Alec who suddenly looked flustered. I didn't know if it was because he could hear me and Camilles' conversation or the text he was reading. "Look, Alec is here and-"

"_Oh. My. God! You fucking fucker! Are you fucking Jesus boy? Now?_"

"Errr, no?"

"_Yeeees, you are totally fucking him! Those 500 dollars are totally yours, you slut!_"She started to laugh hysterically and made weird pig noises. "_Is he big? Small? Thick? Tiny? Tell, meee! I need details!_"

"There is nothing to tell", I sighed. "Now, will you leave me alone, so I can be alone with… Jesus boy."

"_Sure! No probs! I totally understand, you're getting some pussy tonight!_"She shrieked and once again I had to take the phone away from my ear. "_Or how do you gay people call it? Ass? Asshole? Doesn't sound very pleasant or delicious. Maybe we should just stick to pussy-_"

"Or maybe we should not stick to anything."

"_Buhu, you're no fun! Tell Jesus boy I say hello and I will meet him very soon_", I could hear her walking and she started to sing. I looked at the phone seeing she hadn't ended the conversation yet.

"Camille?"

"_Hey you! My delicious man whore! Come over here! We're you going? Come back, I just want some dick! Don't be such a pussy and spread those fine legs of yours! Where are you going? Come bac-_" I blinked and looked down seeing the conversation had ended. I better call her tomorrow and make sure she's okay. I turned around and walked over to Alec, who still looked very flustered.

"What's the matter with you?"

"Who was that?"

"Camille aka. my very drunk friend who needs to go to AA", I lifted his feet and sat down, placing his legs above my own. "Why are you all red?

"Izzy told our dad that she, Simon and I had to work on a project and had to meet up to finish the project. And she told our dad we had to spend the night at Simons'. So, she just texted me that I need to stay away from home because it will blow her cover." I blinked and saw how the redness on his cheeks brightened. Did that mean Alec had to stay over or was he going to stay at another friend's house? Honestly, I hadn't really understood what was going on, but I think I caught the important part.

"So, that means that you have to stay here?" I asked and raised an eyebrow. Alec shifted uncomfortably and nodded while biting down on his bottom lip. Could this angel get any cuter?

"If it's okay with you?" He leaned a little forward and tried to sit up straight. "I don't want to intrude…"

"Oh Darling, you won't", I said and winked at him. "I will take the couch and you can take the bed." I was about to get up and grabbed his ankles to move his legs away when a hand grabbed my wrist.

"See, I'm already intruding. You shouldn't take the couch. I should, though I would rather-" He stopped and loosened his grip and licked his lips before looking up at me. "Sleep with you."

"Alexander, are you trying to seduce me? " I smirked and couldn't help but laugh when he leaned away and stuttered.

"Tha-That came out wrong", he said, "I meant sleep in your bed. I don't sleep well on couches and I would rather just sleep in a bed."

"Well, as you wish", I said and got up, pushing away his legs. I turned around and held a hand out for him to take. "Shall we enter the master room?" Alec blinked and giggled before reaching his hand out and taking mine. His hand was small but strong and his skin was rough; and I think if he hits my stonewall, it would break.

"So you don't mind sharing your bed?"

"Well, we've already shared yours", I leaned into him, feeling his chest against mine. "I think it's time we share mine." And I leaned down kiss him and pushed him backwards into my bedroom. The hot coco long forgotten.

* * *

**SORRY! About the ending! Ending it like this, so here is a little smut/spoiler for what will happen in the next chapter, just to keep you guys excited:**

"God, Magnus", I moaned, letting my hand go through his amazing soft hair. "Please." He smirked and I moaned when I felt his lips on my inner thigh, kissing and biting the skin teasingly.

**Hope you all can hold on until the next one! But the summer vacation is coming up meaning I will (hopefully) be able to post more often.  
Please review and tell me what you think about this! Especially with Magnus opening up about his not so pretty past and how Malec's relationship is developing (; OR you can all just keep up with the sweet reviews! Love ya and see you all soon oh and if I reach 230 reviews there might be a surprise for you all, as in the next chapter obviously. **

**xxxx**


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